


My Bestfriend, My Toy

by EroTaeKai



Category: EXO (Band), SHINee, SuperM
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Anal Sex, Background Relationships, Bottom Kim Jongin | Kai, Depression, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Implied Mpreg, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Manipulative Relationship, Mildly Dubious Consent, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Multi, Oral Sex, Other, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Pregnancy, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recovery, References to Depression, Rough Sex, Secret Relationship, Sex, Sexual Abuse, Shameless Smut, Smut, Top Lee Taemin, Toxic Relationships, Unhealthy Relationships, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2020-04-24 01:21:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 86,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19162915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EroTaeKai/pseuds/EroTaeKai
Summary: The day of Jongin's independence was actually the day he became a prison of love. He have lost his life the moment he agreed to be Taemin's toy - a toy that would give him entertainment and a toy that would be kept and set aside once he gets tired playing with it, until it's forgotten





	1. The Bestfriend

**Author's Note:**

> ●○● READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! ○●○  
> This story contains smut and mpreg, may also be trigger for sensitive readers with the mention of submission, depression, forced sex, etc. 
> 
> ○○○ TRIGGER WARNING IS ACTIVATED ○○○
> 
> If you are okay with the things mentioned above then you may proceed.
> 
>  
> 
> This is a conversational story mostly between two people, and would be a series of exchanging words between Taemin and Jongin unless someone butts in. I will add some notes on who's who hehehe.
> 
> °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Jongin, also known as Director Kai at the restaurant, was crying because of pressure from work since the restaurant is experiencing loss on the first 3 months of the year. The store manager is transferred to make the administrative works while the store supervisor went under surgery for her appendicitis. There is no other solution but for him to do their work while making sure his own tasks are up to date. Another one, his long distance boyfriend is cheating on him.  
"Ah ssibal." Jongin tried to keep his cool but tears went out the more he tries to hold it back. His coworkers at the restaurant have seen and felt the change of his mood especially today. His shift since 9am have been a very tough one and luckily he only have a few hours left before he goes home.

At the start of Taemin's shift as the main chef Ace for the restaurant, he have seen how serious Jongin looked. He was never like that - he was very carefree since they were kids, even in middleschool, highschool and during their college days. He never even got serious when it's time for exams but today, Taemin witnessed a very different Jongin.  
As his bestfriend, he went to the back office to comfort him.  
"Jongin, come here." Without a word, Jongin went to hug his bestfriend and began crying again.  
"I've never been pressured my whole life until now. You know that I hate being pressured the most. I have my own timeframe and I trust to not rush things but now it became like this. We're experiencing loss for the first 3 months of the year then your store manager and your store supervisor are gone. I have to do all their tasks while not forgetting mine. Well I have been a store manager and store supervisor before and I could do that, but the pressure of holding this entire restaurant without any help from others and of course thinking about all our employees' welfare and future are very heavy. It's frustrating. What added to that frustration is Yixing is cheating while he's overseas."  
"I knew it. It's not just because of work. I know your capabilities and I know you'll slay in doing the work. Not just quite sure about the Yixing part though."  
"What should I do?" Jongin pouted as he looked at Taemin's face waiting for his suggestions.  
"Here. Take this and buy some ice cream." Taemin gave his card to Jongin that somehow became surprised.  
"Ice cream?"  
"Yes. Ice cream to make you feel better. My treat this time. I know you could afford it but I want to treat you. Go ahead and pick the flavor you want and if you want, you could buy the biggest tub."  
"Ah jinjja Taemin.. you're too sweet." Jongin stopped crying and is now smiling because of Taemin's sweet gesture. Jongin went out to buy the ice cream flavor that he wants and when he came back, he gave some to the other employees at the restaurant. Jongin and Taemin enjoyed the malt chocolate flavored ice cream with strawberries and Jongin smiled as if he didn't cry earlier.  
"Thank you for this, really."  
"Good thing I know well how to calm you down." Jongin just smiled at Taemin.  
"Now you're really smiling. Where did the crying Jongin go? Who are you? Are you his clone? Ah, it's Director Kai. Woah, you shifted personalities very quick huh?"  
"It's me Jongin. Hahaha. But seriously, thank you for your effort in trying hard to make me smile. I appreciate it so much."  
"You know, getting pressured is a part of life because you won't get to do everything in your own time frame. Some may get rushed and some may take time. Just make this experience as your new lesson that you have to adjust on some things and get out of your comfort zone of time frame. You can do it, you're amazing."  
"Thank you for believing in me, Taeminnie."  
"And another one - if he cheats on you, let him go. Do not cry over him. You are great, you are handsome, you are lovable. Lots of people would want to date you. He's not the only guy out there and mind you, he's not worth your tears."  
"Thank you for that. Maybe that's whag I really need to hear. I guess this time I have to let him go. I have been blinded by my love for him that I just shake off the signs when it's really clear that he doesn't love me anymore."  
"Cheer up, Jongin. Everything would be okay. You could use your time to focus on your work and not be distracted by your feelings. In a few hours, you'll be off your shift. I want you to unwind and not think about those things, okay?"  
"I'll try my best."  
"That's good. You may not know this but I really hate seeing you cry so I try to calm you down and make you smile in every way I can. Don't cry again, ara? Those things and that guy isn't worth your tears."  
"Thank you Taemin. You're the best. Hehe. Can I get a hug again?"  
"Sure. A very big bear hug to Jonginnie!!" They hugged tightly with their hearts pressing against each other.

With Taemin's encouragement, Jongin was able to be calm enough to straighten up his thoughts that he got to formulate strategies for the restaurant to have better sales. After more than a month, a dramagic change occured with the help of his employees.  
"Good news guys, we're able to get back up after our loss on the first 3 months of the year. I really thank everyone for the cooperation in making this possible. Let's work harder so we could get more sales and be able to surpass the high sales that we had last year. If everything goes well, I would try my best to give more incentives to everyone." Everyone is glad that the business is getting back up after suffering loss thanks to their store supervisor slash store manager slash director who sometimes get to also be the one responsible for the point of sale, the quality control and the service standards. Jongin worked diligently with the help of his employees and when it is needed, he helps them out too, sometimes at the incredibly absurd events like when the restaurant is full packed that he helps in washing plates too. He is loved well by his employees because of his empathy and sincerity which Jongin have also appreciated.  
"Our boss is all over the restaurant. You're working so hard while also empathizing with the employees. They love you so much."  
"I have learned how to love the pressure and somehow it gives me the boost. You're right, there are times that I really have to adjust. I also get to talk and reach out with our employees, asked about their suggestions and came up with strategies that have resulted to this. This is not my hard work alone, but also everyone's hard work and I am very grateful that everything id doing well."  
"Congratulations, Director Kai."  
"Congratulations to you too, Chef Ace."  
"You're on the afternoon shift today, right?"  
"Yeah. Wae?"  
"Until when?"  
"I just started the afternoon shift 3 days ago. I'll be on it for more than a week."  
"Should we go and celebrate later on?"  
"I wanted to sleep later though. It's still 2 days before my rest day."  
"Oh so you have the same rest day as me. Should we celebrate the night before we get to have our rest day instead?"  
"Oh? Call! By then we could enjoy better since we'd only get to sleep the following day."  
"Alright don't forget about that ara? I would also ask if the guys would like to join us."  
"That's better so we could really celebrate."

Taemin and Jongin's afternoon shift before their rest days and they are ready for their celebration after operations.  
"Chef Chanyeol, chef Dio, join us later on."  
"I'll ask if server Baekhyun would go then maybe we'll come."  
"Accountant Suho and I have other plans for tonight though. Sorry."  
"Ya Sehun don't tell me you won't join us? Out of everyone here, you're the one who likes drinking the most."  
"Sir Kai, I don't have budget to drink."  
"It's on me, it's my treat to everyone. So you guys could enjoy and chill. This is our celebration so join us ara? We'll wait for you there."

Jongin and Taemin drove to the bar and went to have a few drinks. An hour has passed but no one went to join them, not even Sehun.  
"What's up with those guys? They don't like to drink with us?"  
"Let them be. Besides, they all have schedules tomorrow so maybe they chose to sleep instead."  
"I guess so. Then let's just enjoy." It's the first time Jongin and Taemin went out to drink together. Their college days were spent going on food trips and getting drunk in the beverage class, and they have been sick and tired of alcohol so they didn't go out to bars and stuff. And back then, Jongin would go home straight after his everyday train ride with Taemin. Jongin doesn't have lots of money before so he didn't want to spend it on something he don't really need while Taemin gets to have a part time job to give money as contribution to his brother, the owner of the house he is staying at.  
"Woah. Looking back, it's the first time we ever went out to a place like this together."  
"Uhm, not me. I used to go to bars during the first 2 years of college. Hehe."  
"Back then when you still have a lot of money. Yeah."  
"Yeah. Think about it, after so many years have passed, we're still together chilling out like this. It feels good, meeting an old friend who I get to see everyday. Haha."  
"Yeah. Well I guess Director Kai is really different to the Jongin I know."  
"How is Kai different from Jongin?"  
"Huh? Uhm.. Kai is a workaholic person while Jongin is a carefree person."  
"That's all?"  
"Wae, is there anything more than that?"  
"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you."  
"Well for me it's the only difference. For me, Kai is still Jongin and Jongin is also Kai. I have known you since we were very small and I still know you even if you're now taller than me. I know you to bits and pieces. Now I want to know how is it with Yixing now?"  
"He's back in Korea."  
"Oh so he went back to you?"  
"I changed the lock of my unit but he was still able to get in. I haven't talked to him about it though."  
"So he still doesn't know that you're aware of his cheating?"  
"Yup. He doesn't know yet. I'm actually thinking about blowing everything up when he does it again. Next time it would really be over. If I would get angry at him with his cheating overseas, he would just tell me that he was forced or it's just nothing. In the end I would be the crazy one."  
"Just make sure that you'll end it after that. That guy isn't worth your tears."  
"Aw. Thanks haha. But don't worry much, I feel better than that day I went bawling because of pressure and Yixing. I won't do it again."  
"I'll keep an eye on you. Cheers?"  
"Cheers!" The two bestfriends enjoyed each other's company until they fell asleep at Jongin's car. When he was sober enough, he drove Taemin home.

After a week, Taemin and Jongin planned to go out and drink again especially there's a big news about Yixing.  
"So how was it?"  
"I've seen his profile online. He had lots of pictures with a certain girl named Krystal. I heard that the girl is American born so she's liberated and he told me that she's only just a friend."  
"Friend my ass."  
"Tell me, would you take lots of pictures, seductive and drunk pictures at that with a woman and tell everyone that she's only a friend?"  
"No. That's why I choose my companions. I don't want to get messed up by some girl. I don't want to create misunderstandings so I make sure that I don't go with them."  
"Ah, if only Yixing is like you.. sadly he's not."  
"And I told you that he's not worth your tears."  
"I know. I'm not crying because of him anymore. Maybe what I feel now is not love, it's utter disappointment."  
"So you're saying you don't love him anymore?"  
"If I am the only one in love then I won't push it. I won't punish myself too hard by clinging onto a person who doesn't love me back."  
"That's my Jonginnie. Be strong, you'd be able to handle everything."  
"Anyways let's drink my frustration away. How about you? Do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend now?"  
"You know that I don't like girls. They're full of drama and I am dramatic enough so I don't need one."  
"Wow. Drama queen. Hahaha."  
"But seriously, none at the moment."  
"Aw. That's sad for you. Want me to set you up with someone?"  
"No, I'm not interested."  
"That's so not you, Taemin ah. People are all down for you, you could choose the one you like and have them. It would be easy for you."  
"Same as you, as I told you there are lots of guys out there, Yixing isn't the only guy in the world."  
"That advice also applies to yourself though. Hahaha."  
"Okay, I acknowledge defeat. Let's drink again to celebrate my singleness and Jongin's upcoming independence. Haha."  
Taemin and Jongin drank as much as they can handle since one, Taemin is in the mood for celebration (again) and Jongin doesn't care if Yixing is waiting for him on their unit or not. At the point Jongin's phone started ringing and unexpectedly, it was Yixing.  
"Oh? Your boyfriend is calling."  
"Tsch. What boyfriend? Haha."  
"Would you answer it?"  
"I don't know. Maybe he's wondering where I am since it's already 3 hours after operations time. Maybe he's expecting me to be at home early. Anyways just let it ring. If ever he calls for the 7th time, you answer it."  
"What would I tell him?"  
"Anything. Tell him I'll just come home when the sun rises or whenever I want to come home. Besides, that's my unit. He's the only one who moved in. I believe that I could go home at my own house anytime I want, right?"  
"Finally you're learning. Haha. Wanna dance?"  
"That's actually what I missed the most. Kaja."  
"Jjamkkan. What if someone hit on you there?"  
"So what? It's not like I'll allow him to hit me. Even if I am brokenhearted I am not looking for a rebound. And if I do, I'm sure that there's no feelings attached so I won't bother try."  
"Jinjja? If someone hits on you, you'll not get attached to him?"  
"Huh? I think you don't clearly understand me, Taemin."  
"I understood. I'm just messing around you. Hahaha. Gotcha."  
"Aish what a punk. Haha." Indeed, Jongin and Taemin went to the dance floor after drinking 2 rounds of chocolate mudslide and Bailey's. Taemin looked at Jongin as if he was hungry while Jongin just enjoyed the music. When the song changed to KARA's 'Mister', the two got hyped.  
"Oh my gosh our favorite dance! Haha."  
"Kaja." They did the famous butt dance but it became different when Jongin's butt accidentally grinded Taemin's growing bulge. Since the song is loaded with the buttdance, Taemin had a hard time dancing. The song changed to KARA's 'Step', Taemin facepalmed himself since the song requires another buttdance but this time it includes the shaking of the hips. Jongin continued dancing like nobody's watching while Taemin tried to deflate his growing friend that is as hyped as Jongin's fluffy butt. They went back to their table after SISTAR's 'Alone' finished and this time Taemin wasn't able to hold back.  
"Jongin.." he seductively whispered to his tipsy best friend.  
"Yes Taeminnie?" When Jongin faced him, Taemin leaned forward to kiss him. It was not just a smack but Taemin continued when Jongin let him. At some point Jongin kissed back, and tried to suck Taemin's plump lips.  
"Oh god I can't help it. I'm sorry but can I hit on you even if it's just for tonight? I've been lonely these days.." Taemin was silenced when Jongin leaned forward to kiss Taemin this time.  
"I'll just settle everything. Wait for me at the car ara?"  
"Alright." Taemin giddily went on his way to the parking lot where Jongin's car is and in a few moments Jongin also arrived.  
"Where do you want to go?"  
"Since I have a clearer mind, I'll drive. I'll take you there ara?"  
"You don't want to start here?"  
"Goodness Jongin I never thought you'd be this naughty." They kissed deeply again the moment they got inside the car. Taemin leaned forward to kiss Jongin deeper as he groped his butt.  
"Your butt looks and feels amazing."  
"Thank you for the compliment."  
"Touch mine too."  
"Okay." Like an obedient guy, Jongin felt Taemin's butt as he did the same. Jongin moaned as he felt Taemin's growing erection against his own.  
"Fuck it I'm really getting hard."  
"Want me to give you a blow?"  
"No. I want something other than a blow. I.. I actually want to take you to bed. But I know you have a boyfriend already and I'm sorr-"  
"Go ahead and drive. It's okay, I won't mind."  
"Jinjja?"  
"Yes. Palli and drive. Not in my place though, Yixing might be there. Or screw it. Call him."  
"Huh?"  
"Tell him that I am somewhere and he should fetch me since I am too drunk and stuff. So he would leave my unit. And when he leaves, we could go inside. I'll activate the total security lock."  
"Alright." Taemin got Jongin's phone and told Yixing the 'whereabouts'. Yixing called back and told Taemin that he'll be on the way so they drove fast to Jongin's unit.  
"Perfectly executed plan is successful."  
"Yes and that means we could continue." Jongin is indeed very naughty when he is drunk while Taemin is very sensitive and easily aroused when intoxicated. They kissed deeply, sometimes sloppily until they got all their clothes off.  
"Would your boyfriend be okay with this?"  
"I don't care. I want you too but let's do this only for tonight. You don't love me so I think having me once is enough. And you're only horny and naughty. I'll think of this as-"  
"Let's talk about that some other time." Taemin stroked Jongin's growing cock while he smothered lube on his own. He got Jongin ready and went inside the naughty boy.  
"Aouh. Aaahhh feels good."  
"Fuck this, when was the last time you had sex with Yixing?! You're so tight!"  
"Before he went overseas."  
"That's more than 3 months!! Oh god I might get seriously addicted to your tightness. Hhhhnnnnggghh." Taemin was panting loudly as he thrusted in and out of Jongin.  
"Fuck Taemin!! Harder!! I didn't know that you're better than anyone else. Oh my oh my gosh.." he felt Taemin came inside him without any warning and eventually pulled out. He collapsed on top of Jongin who's still half hard but was out of energy as Taemin that the two of them fell asleep.


	2. The Boyfriend

●○● READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! ○●○

This story contains smut and mpreg, may also be trigger for sensitive readers with the mention of submission, depression, forced sex, etc.

 

○○○ TRIGGER WARNING IS ACTIVATED ○○○

 

If you are okay with the things mentioned above then you may proceed.

 

This is a conversational story mostly between two people, and would be a series of exchanging words between Taemin and Jongin unless someone butts in. I will add some notes on who's who hehehe.

 

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

 

Jongin got awakened after an hour because he was thirsty but he was also awakened with the truth as he saw Taemin hugging him, or being the bigger spoon.

"Fuck what did you just do Kim Jongin?!?" When he sat down, he saw the dried marks of Taemin's cum on his thighs. Just as he thought, his bed was also filled with Taemin's cum stains. Jongin suddenly got confused; he never thought that Taemin would ever take him to bed.. or was it just because he is horny and he is alone and lonely? He was confused so he shrugged it off and went back to lay down beside him. Taemin as a light sleeper, he felt that Jongin came back so he hugged him to sleep again.

 

Jongin's 10am alarm have snoozed but he woke up 30 minutes before that. He was still confused with what just happened between the two of them but he have to take those thoughts off and wake Taemin up.

"Taemin ah, it's already 10am."

"Huh?" Taemin jolted up from the bed and was somehow disappointed that Jongin is now dressed while he is still naked.

"So you're already cleaned up. How are you?"

"I'm okay. Go ahead and wash up so you could just rest when you get home." Jongin gave him a towel to use.

"Thanks." Taemin got up and went to the bathroom to wash up. Jongin just stared at his bed, replaying the things that happened between him and Taemin just a few hours ago.

Jongin, as considerate as he is, dropped Taemin at Gangnam train station near his house since he wanted to get some groceries before heading home. When Jongin got back to his unit, Yixing was already inside waiting for him.

"So where did you go last night? I thought Taemin was with you."

"I was with him in a bar at Itaewon. Wae?"

"He told me that you were so drunk that I have to pick you up. I went there but you can't be found. When I went back here, I couldn't open the door. And just now, you came from somewhere. What's happening?"

"Ah. Taemin must've joked around you. I was with him and we were too drunk so we slept at the car. I dropped him at Gangnam station since he wants to buy food before going home then here I am."

"Really Jongin? I didn't see your car when I went there. And care to explain the cum stains at our bed?"

"It's normal. I'm a man too and I can cum whenever and wherever I want to especially if it's been a while. And that's my bed. I can change sheets anytime."

"And you used half of the lube?"

"Why can't I? So what are you implying now? That I'm cheating on you by fucking someone or getting fucked by someone else? It's not like you didn't get to fuck that Krystal girl overseas."

"What?"

"You don't have to deny. I know that you still like girls most especially boobs. And I don't have that so you go out to play with girls and asking them if you could suck their boobs like a baby. I can't do anything if you want a girlfriend and not a boyfriend."

"You know that I want to be a dad. That's my dream."

"I know and I also know that you're only doing your best to fulfill that dream by fucking some girls so you could have a baby. So you did fuck that Krystal girl.."

"Jongin I-"

"Is it true? Answer my question."

"You know that I love you, I just want to have a baby so we could have our-"

"I told you to answer my question!! So it's true?"

"I.. yes. I'm sorry."

"How long have you been seeing each other? Since you went overseas?"

"Yes."

"More than 3 months ago. Okay. I knew it. Pack your things and get out of my house."

"But Jongin, I really love you!! I mean that! I just want us to have a baby and don't worry, I won't do that again! It won't happen anymore! She's already 2 months pregnant and that's enough for me to stop."

Jongin stood with a poker face and did some slow clap.

"Very good. Very very very good. Well done, Zhang Yixing. Congratulations, you'll be a dad soon. You can go now and build a house with your child, including the mother. We're over. I don't want your baby from another woman. Why? Because I am capable of bearing a child too. I only knew that I could and it's possible until I got tested but then sorry, since you have a new family, I would have to kick you out of my place and my life." Jongin angrily took all Yixing's clothes and things to put it in a training bag. Yixing knelt down to ask for Jongin's forgiveness but he is already decided to break up with Yixing. The pain is too much and he couldn't afford to be selfish even if he love Yixing, especially there's a girl and an unborn baby who needs Yixing more than he needs him.

"And one thing, one truth before you leave my life completely. Those stains, those are from Taemin. It leaked out of my ass. I was with him the whole night and we were here banging while the total security lock is activated. That's the truth, your prize for finally being truthful to me. I also did that as a revenge to you. You cheated on me so I cheated on you too. We're even now, and I don't want you in my life anymore so go. Live a happy life with your baby and that girl."

"I'm sorry but I really love you."

"I have loved you but you're not the one for me. I should've been the one carrying your baby but this is certainly the end." Jongin tried to hold his tears as he pushed Yixing out of his unit's door. When he closed it and activated the total security lock, his tears went out of his eyes continuously.

 

Jongin were too drained emotionally to move so he slept the whole day, until he got awakened when his phone rang.

"Taemin?"

"Oh. Did I wake you up? Sorry."

"Ania it's okay. I think I overslept. Yeah, I think I did. It's already past dinnertime. Yes, why did you call? Is there an emergency at the restaurant?" Jongin spoke louder since his voice is hoarse.

"You forgot that it's also my rest day huh?"

"Ah. Yeah. Sorry, kinda forgot."

"Are you okay? Your voice seems a bit different."

"I'm quite alright. Maybe the hoarseness of the voice was because of oversleeping. Don't mind it."

"Kim Jongin, I have known you more than half of your life and I know if you're lying or not. You cried that you got cold and your voice got affected, right?"

"Um."

"Care to tell me why? I'm pretty sure it's not about the pressure with work."

"Sorry. Ah, how could I ever lie to you when you know me too well. Anyways.. yeah, we're over. I kicked him out of my home."

"Finally! But how did that happen?"

"When I came back after I dropped you at Gangnam station, he was already here. He asked where I was and why he wasn't able to find me when you told him to pick me up last night. The fucker thought that I slept in the car and then I brought up his cheating overseas and boom. Jongin's dreams were shattered."

"I'm not yet convinced. There must be a valid reason for you to blow up and kick him out of your place. You bringing up his cheating overseas is still a bit lame."

"Okay. Okay fine I'll tell you a detailed one. I asked him if he really fucked the girl and he said yes. I asked since when and he said since he went overseas, meaning it was more than 3 months ago. I told him that he goes around fucking other girls because he wants boobs and I don't want that, and he must've wanted to have a girlfriend and not a boyfriend. He told me that he wants to be a dad and when I ask him of that's the reason why he fucked the girl, he said yes. So he wants to get her pregnant and get the baby when she gives birth for us to be a happy family. But I don't want to have it that way. And then when I asked if he really did fucked her, he said yes and told me he won't do it again because the girl is already 2 months pregnant."

"What the actual fuck. What kind of excuse is that? He's not worthy to be a father!"

"Yeah. He's too selfish. And because I am kind and I have a heart of gold, I let him go. I am not as selfish as him to stay in that relationship and raise his child from his woman just to be happy while the mom of the baby is suffering from deception and betrayal. I told him that he should just build up a new home with his baby and the mother. And I know they need him more, so I let him go."

"I know you are hurt but I am happy for you. I'm very proud of you. You're very brave, Jongin ah. If I am by yourside, I would hug you because I am very proud of you."

"Thanks but I didn't know I'd be able to do that. I didn't know I have the courage until that moment happened. But then this bestfriend of yours cried a lot after activating the total security lock that I just fell asleep. Got too tired of crying that I overslept."

"As long as you'll promise me that you'll never cry because of him again, it's fine."

"That would be the last time that I'll cry. I'll enjoy my life loving myself instead of bawling because of heart break."

"That's my Jongin."

"Ah I remember. Why did you call me again?"

"Huh? Ahm.. I just.. I just want to ask you if you're okay. Not emotionally though, but physically. You know.. I might've been rough with you when it's been a while since you had your last sex." Jongin froze when Taemin opened up with what happened between them last night. He wasn't thinking about that yet this fucker of a bestfriend reminded him of it.

"I'm okay. I'm alright."

"How does it feel?"

"Suddenly asking me how does it feel to get fucked again after more than 3 months.. it's fine. It was a bit rough but I like being rough so it's fine with me."

"Did I.. make you feel good?"

"Yeah? Well both of us are supposed to feel good after doing it. Maybe I did but I was too drunk and tired that I wasn't able to make you feel that it felt good. I'm sorry."

"Ania it's not like that. If I made you feel good, can we.. Can we do it again? Especially you don't have a boyfriend now and I am lonely too.." Jongin was in pure shock with what Taemin have offered for him.

"Don't get me wrong.. you told me last night that hitting up on you would be okay as long as there's no feelings involved. Maybe we could do that. When you get thirsty, I could get you filled. If I need to unload, you could take mine. No attachments or feelings." Taemin bargained to make his proposal appealing.

"So you'll be hitting on me?"

"For the meantime, and if you would allow me. It really gets lonely and I know you'd feel that too. This is a win win situation. You'll help me, I'll help you."

"Okay. That sounds fine."

"Really? You're up for it?"

"It's not that bad. Besides you told me both of us would benefit."

"Yeah. Ah, I want you so bad now. You were so sexy, so tight that I've never fucked somebody as tight as you."

"So you liked it that much, huh?"

"I do! I like it so much. Yixing is a loser to ever let you go. As much as I want you now, both of us would have shifts tomorrow."

"You could just go here whenever you want. I could open the door for you."

"Would you like to have a celebration of your independence tonight?"

"Fucking fucker if you want it then just go here! Haha."

As fast as lightning, Taemin arrived at Jongin's doorstep.

"Someone's thirsty for a celebration. Hahaha."

"Yeah. As much as I want to celebrate with alcohol, we have to skip that because we have work tomorrow so I just bought chicken for you."

"Yay my favorite."

"That's my congratulatory gift for you, for kicking him out and for crying because of him for the last time."

"Hehe thanks."

"And I also have ice cream! Bestfriend is like a girl with PMS, wants chocolates and ice cream and strawberries and chicken."

"Go home. Thank you for this."

"I'm just joking!! Aigoo Jonginnie is so cute." Taemin hugged and became clingy tl his eating bestfriend.

"Get off me! Let me eat first, when you called I just got awakened. Too lazy to cook so I am very thankful for the chicken. Yaaaaaaaaaay."

"Palli. Finish eating so we could start."

"Start what?"

"Finish eating so I could kiss your oily lips. I'll wash up first." Taemin gave Jongin a wink and he got goosebumps.

When Taemin got out of the bathroom, he couldn't see anything as all the lights were turned off except for the mini neon signs on Jongin's bedroom wall.

"Jonginnie?"

"I'm here." Jongin was leaning by his side on the bed while playing on his phone. He was on his shirt and boxers and Taemin is a bit confused.

"Why is it so dark?"

"I like the darkness. It's soothing and calming. You want to turn on the lights?"

"No it's fine. Actually the neon accents are enough. It's okay."

"Okay." Jongin and Taemin are awkward even if they don't say it so Taemin made the first move by laying beside Jongin on the bed and trying to snuggle his face on Jongins neck. He began planting kisses from his neck, to his jaw, then his chin, cheeks, nose, forehead and eventually kissing Jongin on his full lips, making Jongin throw his phone away.

"Congratulations on Jongin's independence. Now I don't have to ask you if your boyfr-"

"Let's not talk about that now. Let's just celebrate." Jongin kissed Taemin back and the older started to get his hands under Jongin's shirt to feel his chest with his hands. Jongin wasn't patient as well so he helped Taemin take his own shirt off. Taemin is only covered with a towel so he also took Jongin's boxers off so both of them are fully naked. Taemin kissed Jongin deeply while caressing his body, which makes his friend grow harder. Jongin was able to feel Taemin's growing friend so he kissed back deeply, sucking onto Taemin's lips while untangling his hair.

"You're getting hard.. I think that's enough.."

"You think so?" Jongin nodded and Taemin smiled so he grabbed the bottle of lube and got ready on Jongin's entrance. Taemin pushed the head of his cock inside Jongin's hole and stopped, making the younger squirm.

"Ah jebal go in deeper."

"What?"

"Go in."

"I can't hear you."

"Taeminnie, please go deeper."

"Like this?" Taemin teased Jongin and eventually thrusted deeper inside Jongin's tight hole.

"Holy! You're still so tight! Are you sure you only had your last sex 3 months ago?"

"Nope."

"I knew it. When was the last time?"

"You're the first one."

"The first on- what?! So that means.."

"Yep. Still fresh. Still a virgin."

"But how come.. but you have Yixing before.. he must've.. that's impossible."

"I only got to blow and give deepthroat to Yixing. And actually, I was a former top because he doesn't want fucking a guy. The reason why he fucked girls instead."

"So it's true? You're really a virgin?"

"Virgin in my ass, yes."

"Woah. So I am the lucky one. This is impossible really. I thought you got fucked lots of times."

"Well I fuck him, he doesn't fuck me so yeah."

"Woah. And now I'm topping you. How does it feel?"

"I thought 'so this is how it feels in porn'. It feels good. It's also addicting. And I got my first time with your cock so I am also lucky."

"I'm flattered. Alright, I'll just enjoy my virgin ass for now okay? Just tell me if it's too rough."

"I told you I love rough. Go ahead."

"I'll just do it my way then." Taemin smirked then kissed Jongin deeply as he thrusted in and out. After rough thrusting, Taemin came inside Jongin without warning again.

"My gosh. You milked my cock so much. All the load is leaking out of you."

"My walls have done a great job. Hehe." Taemin was panting after releasing a lot on the first round so he tried to calm himself by going down on Jongin. He teased the head of Jongin's cock with his tongue but Jongin winced as if he got bitten.

"Wae?"

"I want to kiss you. It's okay, leave it like that, you could play with that later on."

"Okay. As you wish." Taemin continued kissing Jongin until he was able to get hard again. This time, Jongin was positioned in all fours and Taemin went inside him in doggy style.

"Oh my fucking fuck this feels so good!!"

"Which is better, this or the one we did before?"

"Both but I can feel you better with this. Ah oh my gosh I might get addicted to your cock."

"Jonginnie.."

"Um?"

"I think I might get addicted to you too."


	3. The [ex]girlfriend

Jongin have been satisfied with Taemin's sudden barge in to his house almost everyday even if they have different schedules. Sometimes, Taemin would drop by at Jongin's loft to have at least a round of sex before going home. Their relationship during work is quite okay too - they are not awkward but what's more surprising is both of them are showing affection towards each other that some of the employees think that there's something going on between then even if they are bestfriends. There are times that Jongin would be caught looking at the kitchen waiting for Taemin to give him a faint smile while on operations, and Taemin making effort to Jongin by cooking some of the dishes he like, most especially chicken. One time when Taemin have his wagyu steak, he got some for Jongin to enjoy as well. When it's possible, they eat together too, until one day Jongin and Taemin's innocent inuendo was shattered into pieces.

 

A former chef of the restaurant named Kibum visited them and gave another batch of wagyu beef. It was Taemin's favorite so Jongin made sure that he would have more than what the others would get. They chatted a lot until Chef Kibum mentioned about Taemin's online profile.

"Really? You are best friends but you're not friends on Facebook?"

"No. He told me he doesn't have facebook."

"Actually, he have I think 2 or 3 profiles? In three different names. You could search for it. Lee Taem In, Ace Lee, Francesco Lee. You'd be able to see his profile. It's quite updated, I think the profile picture was updated a few days ago. We were surprised that he's back again with his ex."

"Huh? Ex?"

"Yes. That's his ex. They were together for a long time, I think since 2013? Yeah."

"Oh. That's good for him." Indeed, his bestfriend getting back to his ex is good but he's feeling something different other than being happy for Taemin.

"I didn't know.. he never mentioned anything about getting back to his ex though. Maybe he doesn't want to spoil the good news." Jongin insisted that he doesn't know anything about it.

"Yeah maybe that's the reason. And who knows, the two of them getting back together would also mean marriage. Besides, they have been together for so long." Kibum agreed with what Jongin has said thag maybe Taemin kept it a secret because they might be planning something in the future.

"Yeah, maybe." Jongin mumbled but deep inside his heart, it hurts.

 

He got really curious of Taemin's facebook profiles and when he checked thoroughly, it was updated everyday since August 10, the last day of their morning shift together, the same day that Taemin told him that he won't be going to his loft to play. Indeed, he was out on a starbucks and seafood date with his ex that became his girlfriend again.

"Oh, they don't look good together but the pictures imply that they are indeed lovers." A pang of jealousy came to Jongin as he browsed how sweet they looked at the pictures, and how he got to have their picture together as his display photo.

"Maybe he's really proud to be back with his girlfriend. Maybe he doesn't really want to let her go so he did his best to get her back again." Jongin closed the application and laid down to his bed feeling drained, tired, and most of all, betrayed.

 

The atmosphere of their workplace became a bit different than before as Jongin confirmed the news from the employees.

_"Yes, he told us that he has a girlfriend."_

_"But that girlfriend is already an ex. If they got back together then maybe it's true."_

_"I think the photo is a recent one. It says that it was last August 10, just a week ago."_

Jongin was already fed up with what he have found out and while feeling betrayed, he just worked with his usual task until the betraying fucker of a bestfriend came and hugged him from behind.

"Let me go. I'm working." Jongin winced from Taemin's hug as if his skin touched something scorching hot that he'll get a burn.

"You can tell me what's bothering you. I'll listen." Taemin doesn't know what made Jongin like that so he is curious.

"It's nothing."

"If it's nothing, it wouldn't bother you that much. And I am sure it's not because you are pressured." Jongin was just silent.

Taemin is right. If it's nothing, it wouldn't bother him that much. But it does and as much as he hates it, it really bothers him. He felt so betrayed. All his life, he have told Taemin about everything and now, he would suddenly get hit by news of Taemin getting back to his ex girlfriend. What's worse, Taemin is fucking him and if he already have a girlfriend, they definitely have to stop having sex.

"Hey. You haven't told me anything yet." Taemin snapped on Jongin that's just staring blankly.

"Don't bother asking again. It's not important."

"Oh. Not important but your face is like that."

"I told you it's nothing! So just get the fuck off me because I am working! I have to focus on this one so I would be able to finish this today!" He acted like he's angry and frustrated so Taemin would just leave him alone but the acting turned to be real emotions.

"So me hugging you from behind distracts you, is that right?"

"Taemin, for fuck's sake this is important and I am serious. Please get out of the office and just work."

"Okay okay. Hands off, I'll let you go. I'll just see you later after shift."

"Don't bother coming in tonight as well. I'll be going out."

"Where? Who are you going with?"

"None of your business." Jongin slammed the door and locked it so no one most especially Taemin would dare to bother him. Truthfully, he already finished his task for the day and he was just reviewing the delivery inventory. He killed the rest of his time staring at the screen of the computer while some silent tears fell down his face.

 

Jongin intendedly went out of his unit to get Taemin off his mind so he got together with his close friend Jongdae.

"So you found out that he has a girlfriend yet he's fucking you? Well that is really a bad thing. If they are back together yet he's still fucking you then he's one heck of an unfaithful boyfriend."

"Yeah. And I feel so betrayed. I tell him everything and then I'll suddenly find out that he's back with his ex. I never ever knew that he had a girlfriend because he told me he's not interested in girls."

"Another heck of a big liar. Maybe you should confront him. Tell him that you felt betrayed and if they're really back together, you'll have to stop letting him fuck you."

"There's another problem hyung. I think I'm in love with him."

"Ho ho.. that's a bigger problem. That guy already has a girlfriend. Girl. Friend. Just like Yixing. You know how you'll end up later on. You'll just get dumped because he would eventually choose the girl who could bear babies and have boobs over you, even if you're his bestfriend."

"Yeah. I know. Just when I thought he was different from Yixing, he is worse than him. This is seriously insane. I have to stop or I'll get killed again."

"Aigoo. Nini is in love again but he shouldn't be. I know how you are when you're in love. You only choose one, all or nothing. You are a man of extremes, and would never settle for the median. Good luck with that, I'll support you all the way."

"Thank you for hearing me out most especially when I blabber things about Taemin."

"It's not like you'd be able to tell him those things yourself. Besides, you'll have to start creating a distance between the two of you."

"That would be too hard especially we are working in one place. Anyways, let's just drink to this." They just chugged the Blue Lagoon highball glasses they've prepared a while ago. Having vodka and lemonade at this time made Jongin hyper. As the alcohol kicks on his mind, his eyes started to make fun of him.

"Huh? Fuck hyung. Do you see what I see? I think I'm seeing a ghost."

"You moron. That's not a ghost. It's really Taemin!"

"Eotteokhae? Fuck where should I hide?"

"There's no point in hiding, he already saw you. He even smiled when he saw you here."

"Fucking fucker. Aish jinjja." Jongin facepalmed himself and just chugged a half glass of the Blue Lagoon.

"After searching far and wide, I finally found you."

"Why did you even bother going here.."

"I figured that you didn't bring your car so I am here to fetch you and take you home safely."

"Tsch. Acting like some good boyfriend." He mumbled softly making sure Taemin won't hear.

"I think I arrived at the right time. You're already drunk, I'll take you home."

"Who's drunk? I'm not yet drunk. I have high alcohol tolerance. Hyung, one shot!" Jongin chugged another half glass and held his head. It's starting to spin and he really has to stop or he'd vomit.

"That is what you call drunk. Ah jinjja. What has gotten into you that you're drinking again? You promised me that you won't get affected by Yixing again.."

"It's not Yixing."

"Good. So Jonginnie is in love. Congratulations."

"More like condolences. Ah jinjja. Hyung can I sleep beside you instead? I would just sleep and you know how I sleep right?"

"You sleep naked even if you sleep like a mummy." Jongdae stated the naked truth about Jongin's sleeping habits that he hated.

"So you can't sleep with Jongdae hyung. Kaja, that's the reason I am here. I am here to save you from your drunkenness."

"Can you please stop talking nonsense? I'm dizzy and I don't want to hear your voice."

"Woah there. What did I do wrong that you hate me so much now?"

"Bimil.(secret)"

"So you hide secrets from me now. I'm offended."

"See that? He has the nerve. Alright alright I'll go home hyung, I might not be able to control my mouth. I might vomit everything inside me here."

"Go ahead and drive safely ara? Taemin, sorry for how Jongin acted. That guy's in love and it's not right. Just bear with him at least for now."

"It's okay. I know how to handle him and I'll tame him down. No worries. Thank you for looking out at Jongin."

"Yeah. Drive safely!"

 

Jongin tried hard to walk straight past Taemin to the end of the street where his car was parked. He almost ran so Taemin won't be able to catch him but that's impossible because he is drunk while Taemin is sober.

"Ya what's with you? You weren't like that when you were in love with Yixing." Jongin just shrugged and pretended that he didn't hear anything.

"Hey. Walk slowly. You'll get dizzier if you try to walk fast."

"Jebal. Please don't talk to me or ask me questions. I might really vomit everything here."

"Is it really that bad?"

"Aish jinjja. What did I just told you?! I chugged glasses of fucking vodka and you're asking me if it's that bad? Have you forgotten your mixology lessons?"

"See. I made you talk. Why did you even drink vodka? It's so not you." Finally they arrived to where the car is and just when Jongin tried to sit behind the wheel, Taemin got his shoulders to make him seat at the passenger area.

"You should never ever try DUI. I won't bail you up in case you get arrested. I'll drive."

"Open the windows. The a/c would just make me want to vomit more. I need fresh air."

"Okay okay. Chill. Clear your head. We'll be home in no time." As Taemin drove back to Jongin's unit, his bestfriend slowly fell asleep but he was curious when a teardrop escaped from his bestfriend's eyes even if he's already sleeping.

 

Taemin didn't want to wake Jongin up so he carried him to his apartment, trying not to fall since he's carrying a man taller and bigger than him. Taemin laid Jongin down on the bed and kissed him deep while he took all of Jongin's clothes that reeked of the vodka he had earlier.

"You're really pretty but you're most beautiful when you smile so don't cry over love anymore. It hurts me whenever I see you cry because it means I wasn't able to protect you from getting hurt. I'll take those tears away, I hope you'll feel good later on." Taemin kissed Jongin deeply as he lubed his cock to thrust in and out of Jongin while he was dead drunk.

 

Jongin woke up with his head spinning and his body sore. When he sat up, he saw that he was naked and Taemin is on top of him. Both of them were naked and all he did was facepalm himself.

"What the fuck have happened again that we ended up banging? Ah I was so drunk. Jinjja." He tried to move but Taemin cling onto him more.

"Ya move. I'll be going to the bathroom. And I am too thirsty."

"Sorry. Go to the bathroom, I'll get some water for you."

"You don't have to. I could walk."

"Really?" Jongin stood up but his legs were too drained that he fell down on his butt. He was fucked too rough that he wasn't able to walk or even stand properly.

"See. I knew you'd end up like that so I offered to get you water. So just sit back and relax after going to the bathroom okay?"

"What the fuck happened? I can't remember anything after I passed out."

"You know.. I took your clothes off since you sleep naked and then you kissed me and begged me to fuck you rough and hard. After 3 rounds you still begged me to fuck you again. I tried my best to give you everything until the last drop of milk I could produce."

"Fuck. What did I just do."

"Provoked me. You provoked me. I just did what you said. And there you go."

"This is so embarassing."

"Don't be. I enjoyed it so much. Out of all the nights we've fucked, last night was the naughtiest and kinkiest."

"Huhu jebal shut up. Ahh jinjja Kim Jongin what has gotten into you."

"Are you okay now?"

"What okay?"

"I mean, are you still sad because you're in love or what?"

"Ah. Don't mind that. I was just bluffing."

"Bluffing. Yeah. Bluffing to the point of being dead drunk. Yeah right. You can't fool me Kim Jongin. I know you so well."

"Let this slip, okay? Just this one. I just don't really want to talk about it. At least not today. Someday I'll tell you about it, when I am healed enough to let it all out."

"Promise?"

"Yes. Promise."

"Okay. I'll wait for that."

"Taemin ah.."

"Um?"

"Go find a girlfriend or boyfriend."

"Huh? Why so sudden?"

"Just because. I mean, you've been single for a very long time. Maybe it's about time for you to love again."

"You want me to be in a relationship? Why so sudden?"

"I just thought about it. I want you to be happy with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Just like other friends who gets happy when they see their friends in love. I want to feel that too, so I want you to be in a relationship soon."

"Wow. That's deep."

"And when that time comes, tell me how happy you are that you're in love again, okay? I don't want to be the last to know. If that happens, tell me so I would let you go."

"What are you saying?"

"I mean this. Well if you'll be in a relationship, you'd surely fuck each other. And if you'll have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you won't need me anymore. And I would try hard to find myself a new love too, so you won't feel bad leaving me hanging or letting me die because of abstinence."

"Aigoo my bestfriend is getting sentimental. What makes you think that I'll get to be in a relationship?"

"You're not getting any younger, Taemin. I know one of these days or probably sooner or later, that it'll happen. I'm just being realistic here. So as soon as now, I am setting you off. I'm telling you that I'll be okay and you don't have to think about me if you want to court somebody or not."

"You're too weird today."

"Aftereffects of vodka. Anyways I'm sorry for draining you and for not making you sleep. I'll just call a ride for you since I can't drive you home. It's on me."

"Can I stay here a little longer?"

"No. I'll sleep again and I might ask you to fuck me in my dreams and then I'll wake up sore. I might not be able to go to work tomorrow. So go home and take some rest. By the way, thank you for taking me home last night. I appreciate you making efforts in finding me but you don't have to. I'll call you if I need you. I feel like I'm taking much of your time and energy. You don't have to do those kinds of things for me. I'm not your boyfriend and we're not in any kind of relationship except for being bestfriends so yeah. Thank you again."

"Oh. Alright. Sleep well." Taemin awkwardly left Jongin's unit but stayed outside in case he would open the door to let him stay longer. But the total security lock got activated and after a while, he heard Jongin crying opposite the door.

 


	4. The Deed

Taemin felt the distance that Jongin creates because he doesn't want to talk about his recent problem so he went on his way to make an effort for his bestfriend to open up.

Jongin was at the quality control area when Taemin bugged him.

"Ah, joahtda." Taemin sighed with Jongin in front of him but he was just ignored by his boss bestfriend. Jongin made sure that the dishes that would come from Taemin's kitchen are all high quality but for today, since Taemin is bugging him, he became a super strict quality control assist.

"Please check your plating! There are still drops of the sauce on the side! Make sure you wipe it all before you release and serve that here."

"Yes sir." The other chefs agreed but since it was Taemin's plating that got criticized, he got annoyed.

"The next order is for to go. Why did you put the soup on that container? That is only for rice or pasta." Jongin was seriously annoyed when he saw Taemin pouring a hot soup on a rectangular microwavable container.

"This is better than the other container since there are room for handling a rectangular container than the usual spherical."

"But you know that if the soup is placed on that container, it would get cold quickly since there is also a lot of room for air to pass. Put it in the right container." Jongin's tone of voice was seriously different that the other chefs tried to get out of Jongin and Taemin's way.

"Why don't you just trust me?" Taemin blew up because Jongin doesn't let it slide.

"Why are you insisting on doing things on your own way? Why are you not sensitive enough to know what should be done?"

"Jjamkkan. Let's just ask the guest on which one they would like their soup to get packed."

"Okay. I'll do it for you. Watch me. Uhm, excuse me sir, would you like the soup packed in a rectangular container or a spherical container?"

"The other one. The rectangle would get cold easily. And can you make it two so I could have more?"

"Sure sir. We'll pack it for you. You may take a seat first. See that?"

"Okay okay. You won."

"Don't dare argue again with me chef Lee. Ah jinjja so annoying." Jongin got stucked in a smirk since he knew that he was able to shut Taemin up when chef Ace walked out of the kitchen.

"Tss. _'Why don't you just trust me?'_ Trust my ass. You're not as trustworthy as you seem to be. Tsktsk." Jongin just shook his head recalling Taemin's remark about trust.

"Sir Kai, your meal is ready." He was called by chef Chanyeol who was in charge of the employee menu of the day.

"Oh alright thank you."

Jongin went to the pantry but was surprised because Taemin is there waiting for him.

"Sit down and eat." Taemin ordered as if Jongin made a mistake earlier.

"You don't have to tell me. I would sit down and eat because I am fucking hungry and finally the meal is ready."

"Sorry if it took a long time. Here."

"Fuck you why are you like this?" Because Taemin have cooked Jongin's favorite Chinese dish Soy Chicken. He was served another dish that is completely different to what the other employees would have for lunch.

"To annoy the hell out of you. Why are you so mad at me that your blood is boiling whenever you see me. Are you on PMS?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Okay. PMS. Alright I'll take note of that. Do you want ice cream?"

"Do you think I am that easy? Ice cream?"

"Okay. You don't want ice cream."

"French fries. Cheesy jalapeno flavor then Corn and Mozzarella Cheese."

"Okay. Noted. For PMS, Soy Chicken, cheesy jalapeno fries then corn and mozzarella cheese." Taemin typed on his phone seriously that Jongin realized that it's funny.

"What's that? I thought you don't like shrimp." Taemin's lunch is also different from the employee menu for today but he was puzzled because there's a shrimp on the rice noodles dish when Taemin doesn't like shrimps because he thinks that shrimps are weird.

"This is Pad Thai. A new recipe. Want to try?"

"Okay." Taemin waited for Jongin's reaction but he was just pokerfaced.

"Not your taste?"

"Fuck you. Let's get that on the menu."

"Oh. Thanks hahaha. Go ahead and eat up. You're cute."

"My blood is still boiling but I am on ceasefire because I am eating. Later on I would burn up again."

"Go ahead. Just be ready later on the bed."

 

Eventually, Jongin's heart can't help but fall harder in love with Taemin. He was doing lots of efforts like cooking for him when he comes at his unit, then he even stay up to cuddle after some rough rounds of sex. Their sexual desires with each other got heightened that they don't only get to do it everyday, but also at Jongin's office especially when they are both on the morning shift. They go to the restaurant 2 hours earlier than the start of the shift to have sex before work, then proceed to Jongin's loft after their shift. Indeed, they have been addicted to each other.

"Jonginnie.."

"Um?"

"Can you.. uh you told me you give Yixing blow and deep throat before. Can you.. do that for me?"

"Here at the office?"

"Yeah. Under table, here at the office while I am formulating the recipe. Please?"

"Just keep quiet ara."

"Okay. Auuuhhh." Taemin moaned as Jongin took his throbbing cock onto his mouth. He went to suck it straight before planting kitten licks on it's head. He also help him with a handjob while he played with his scrotum.

"Fuck. Ah jebal. Suck it hard."

"Like this?" Jongin gave Taemin his ultimate technique by giving him a deepthroat while his tongue is slowly caressing his cock inside his mouth. He also leaned forward and backward that Taemin wasn't able to help himself but thrust in and out of Jongin's mouth too.

"Get yourself ready. I'll fuck you raw but don't worry, my cock is slicked with enough saliva." He turned Jongin away from him and tugged his pants down. He thrusted in and out of Jongin that is on all fours at the floor while Taemin was still seated.

"Fuck yes!! Ahhh Taeminnie.. so good.."

"Ssshhh don't be too loud or we'll get caught. Ahhh you're the best." Taemin pulled out to see the cum leaking out of Jongin.

"I really love looking at your ass with my cum leaking out of it. You're so sexy. You're so delicious."

 

There were times that they would lock the door of security room and fuck there while keeping an eye to the employees during operations, and sometimes they would sneak to emergency exit to quench their burning bodies. Taemin have been very vocal and very open with what he likes to do and Jongin being his buddy, would try it along with him.

"Jonginnie.."

"Yes?" Taemin didn't reply but just made Jongin sit on his lap with his erection poking his clothed butt.

"Face me. Straddle me and ride me."

"Alright." Jongin is a good boy so he took both their pants off while licking Taemin's cock. He straddle him at the chair and when Taemin's cock became rock hard, he sat down onto it.

"Aough." He felt his other hole got penetrated with Taemin's big cock and it was a bit painful so he silenced himself by burying his mouth on Taemin's neck.

"Oh my. How are you this tight?!?"

"Huh?" It was the first time he got penetrated with his other hole, the one that is the same as a female's.

"You're so tight oh my!! Your walls are milking my cock tightly! Ughhhhh.."

"Go ahead and proceed. I'll do my best to relax."

"Okay. Woah this is so.. uhhhh Jonginnie."

"Feels good?"

"Yes!"

"Then go ahead and give it to me as well." Taemin thrusted up and down while Jongin bounced on his cock. When he pulled out, he was oozing with cum.

"You have to explain later, okay? Kaja. We have to get dressed so we could still take a nap."

That night, Jongin explained about the difference of his body to other normal, typical and ordinary males. Being an omega male, he have the usual male organs but he is also capable of bearing a child because he also have a vagina and uterus. In general, he have both male and female reproductive system.

"That means you could get pregnant?"

"That's what they said but they told me only one of the organs that I have is working. If I could cum and release sperm then I won't get pregnant easily."

"And you could release sperm right? That means you won't get pregnant easily?"

"Yup."

"I am damn one lucky man. I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend in my best friend."

"I am not your boyfriend though. Hahaha. Anyways that's it."

"Can I alternate?"

"It's fine as long as I'll be able to handle it."

 

They got the same rest day and they both agreed to spend it in bed. Jongin have been having a hard time keeping up with the secret that he's hiding so he gathered all his strength to confront Taemin - about his girlfriend.

"Taemin.."

"Um? Yes Jonginnie?"

"Uhm.. there's actually a rumor.. circulating at the restaurant. It's about you."

"And then? What about me?"

"They said that they saw you.. with a girl. And you and that person have a relationship. Is that true?"

"The fuck where did you get that news?"

"I just heard it from them and I am curious as well. They said that the girl you are with is your girlfriend. Is that true?"

"Uhm. Yeah."

"Since when?"

"We're still new. A little less than 2 months ago I think?

"So it's true. It's not just rumors. They also got pictures of the two of you.. from your profile. You look so sweet together eating out and getting coffee. But Taemin, why didn't you tell me?" Jongin was intently looking at Taemin's eyes but the older is just silent.

"I told you that when you get to have a girlfriend, you should tell me so we could stop this."

"Jongin, you don't need to know everything."

"What? Don't I deserve that? Well, doesn't she deserve that? You are already in a relationship and it's legal for you to fuck her! I would totally be out of the picture if you could've just told me beforehand."

"Okay okay I'll explain. You're my friend, I couldn't just ditch you and throw you away now that I got myself a girlfriend. And of course, I don't want this to stop. I want you so bad. I am addicted to you. If I have told you that, would you not let me go?"

"Well I know respect! And Taemin for fuck's sake you just made me your side chick while you're cheating with your girlfriend!"

"Please Jongin not now. Let's not talk about that now. Let's just sleep."

"Fuck you. You could just fuck her. Why are you still thinking of me and my welfare? I am a man and I like men. I could just go and find another man that would fuck me but Taemin, this is definitely not right. You're fucking me when you are already in a relationship. You're cheating on her and cheating is never acceptable regardless of your reasons!"

"Okay fine. I got a girlfriend. Would you really want to stop this? Because I don't want to. I have grown attached to you, heck maybe I am seriously addicted to you. You make me feel so good and you are better than anybody else. And just so you know, I don't fuck her. She's my ex girlfriend and we just got back together lately. I don't fuck her because she is sick."

"How sick is sick?"

"Sick mentally, sick physically. She has a mental illness and then she caught AIDS with the men she had sex with when we broke up."

"But even so.. of course you got back with her because you love her."

"Getting back to her would help her recover. She has been stressed out and she needed me. She only drink her medicine if I make her take it."

"What the fuck is that? Ah I really don't know now."

"Can you please stay with me even after I told you the truth? I swear you staying with me would keep me sane."

"You're so fucking unbelievable, Taemin."

"Are you going to let me go? Are you going to let this go?" Taemin started to kiss Jongin again but because Jongin doesn't want to let him go too, he just submit himself to Taemin even if it means he got to be his side chick. Maybe not a side chick since they don't have a relationship, but a toy that he could play with.

 

Taemin also started sending seductive and explicit messages to Jongin that even after their usual and daily sex, he always see to it that they would talk about sex until they fall asleep.

But with one mistake, everything fell apart.

Jongin tried to start a seductive and explicit conversation on Taemin's messenger instead of contacting him on his mobile phone. He have also asked his whereabouts and if he would be going to his place for another round(s) of sex. He was surprised that the replies on his messages were from a different person, from Taemin's girlfriend at that.

"Who are you? How dare you send those kinds of messages? Aren't you aware that the person you're seducing is already in a relationship? And you're saying that you are having sex everyday but you still want him to fuck you? What kind of person are you?"

"I'm sorry but wh-"

"I am Taemin's girlfriend and you should die and go to hell! People like you doesn't deserve to live especially if you go around asking people to fuck you!"

"Excuse me miss but I am not what you think I am. I am a man and I have known Taemin for so long."

"What the? You're a man?!? Hell no, Taemin likes girls and I am his girlfriend! He would never come to love another, most especially not a man!! I bet you're only seducing him since you wanted him to fuck you so bad! But sorry, he is taken and he won't be going to your place tonight!"

 

After a few hours, Taemin called Jongin.

"Kim Jongin what the fuck have you done? Why did you send those kinds of messages to the messenger?"

"Why not? You sent those messages to me as well. And that is your profile! How come you let your girlfriend have access to that?"

"First of all, that is NOT my account. It only bears my name and my photos but she's the one who use it. So please, please. Don't ever send anything to that. Ah, because of what you did, she got mad at me. She's now so stressed and she couldn't be stressed or her health would suffer!"

"So now it's my fault? You're blaming it to me? Lee Taemin how could you?! Just to remind you, you were the one who wanted this and started this! Well everything is fine before but now it isn't!"

"I am not blaming you. I am just telling you that because of what happened she is under serious stress! Please help me with this. Please cooperate. We could still continue what we're doing. We just really need to be careful next time!"

"Lee Taemin do you hear yourself? Do you know what you're saying? You are protecting her feelings yet you still want to continue this? What have made you become that heartless?"

"That's enough okay. Now we're okay. Just please, refrain from contacting me through messenger."

"You are really unbelievable, Taemin."

 

Even if Jongin was caught by Taemin's girlfriend, they still continue having sex but after Taemin goes home, he doesn't contact Jongin again. Until one day Taemin sent him a message by text and told him that the coast is clear and it's okay to resume texting. He also told him that he got a new email and password for his facebook so they could talk there.

Jongin was too innocent and too naive to realize that the one that he was talking to was actually Naeun and not Taemin. He couldn't see the difference because their messaging styles were way too similar.

 

After a few days 'Taemin' asked to upload the photos that they have together so he could save it to his phone. Jongin, who was gullible enough since he really got some snaps with Taemin, sent it to him. He even sent the photos they took while they were half naked in bed. That night, he was surprised that Taemin went to his unit angry.

"Fuck it Kim Jongin I told you to never communicate with me using the messenger!! Do you know what happened? You just sent our photos to Naeun!! She was so angry at me since she have now confirmed that I am really fucking you! And how could you send the photos we took half naked?! Are you even using your brain? Are you even thinking?" Jongin was startled and afraid that Taemin blew up that his eyes were burning out of anger.

"Well I am sorry that me doing those things got you caught by your girlfriendI I only thought she was you! There were no difference with the way you send messages to me so I thought that it's you. I think the only fault that I made is trusting that fucking messenger!"

"I already told you that I am not the one using that damned facebook! How many times should I tell you? Can't you understand that? Are you that stupid? Hey Kim Jongin you are a smart guy, why can't you grasp that thought?" At this time Jongin was crying because Taemin started to hit the walls of his unit.

"The messages sent by your phone.. is it also you?"

"What messages?"

"The ones that you sent after going here?"

"No. I have not been communicating with you after I leave here so she won't suspect anything."

"Fuck. I'm sorry but I think I've really ruined you two."

"What did you tell her this time?"

"That you.. only stayed with her because she's sick."

"What the fuck! Ah jinjja I am so done with you. Why are you like that?! I thought we are bestfriends?! Why can't you help me with this?! Fucking hell I don't know what I should do with you anymore. Don't ever contact me again." Taemin was so angry that he looked disappointedly at Jongin before he slammed the door and left.

"Fucking fucker that only cares about their feelings. So I am really just a toy to him. Now it's really confirmed."


	5. The Blessing In Disguise

After the unpleasant exchange of messages and emotions blowing up during the time that Taemin got caught cheating, Jongin wasn't able to eat properly. He was also overthinking and most of all, depressed because his love is mad at him for getting both of them caught by his girlfriend.

"Sir Kai, are you okay?" Chef Chanyeol asked him. It's been 2 days since they last saw him smile but now, he looked like he is carrying the weight of the world.

"I'm trying to. Wae?"

"Uhm.. this is just a friendly advice okay. Please don't take it against me and my job but.. you don't look good. You look like you've been starving for over a month. Are you still eating? Your face got too skinny. Your overall health is affected. Please take care of yourself. We're worried about you, sir."

"Thank you for those words, chef. I'll try my best to eat well from now on."

"We actually have cream pasta. Would you like to eat? We could get some for you."

"That would be good. Thanks."

 

Jongdae picked Jongin up since he took Jongin's car. He was worried that Jongin might do something stupid like go to Taemin's house and get attacked by the girlfriend.

"Let's eat breakfast somewhere. What do you want to eat?"

"I'll eat what you'll order for me."

"If I order fried chicken, would you eat it?"

"Yes. I have to eat. Everyone told me that I do not look good anymore."

"Well that is the downside of being heartbroken. Your heart is broken, and so are your other organs. It doesn't work on it's own. It works together so if you would still loathe because your heart is broken, there is a possibility that your other organs would make a strike or rebellion against you."

"Huh?"

"What I'm saying is you'll get sick! If you are not eating properly, sleeping properly and living properly you would eventually get sick. Come on, Taemin is just like Yixing! Just get over him like how you moved on from Yixing before."

"Hyung, Taemin is different. I really love him. I thought I could fight this feeling but I couldn't, until one day I decided to give it a go even if he doesn't feel the same towards me. And now, there's no need to worry since that love is about to end."

"The end of love isn't the end of life. Always remember that."

"Sorry hyung." Jongin obeyed Jongdae and ate 3 pieces of fried chicken with 1 cup of rice and a glass of pineapple juice. They also went to get a pizza and chocolate mousse cake since it's also Jongdae's birthday.

"Happy birthday hyung. Sorry if you are babysitting me when I should be celebrating with you. But since it's your birthday, I would eat. I starve myself too much."

"Good thing you finally thought of that."

 

A few hours after their lunch celebration, Jongin went to work trying to stay sane as if nothing's wrong.

"Your color is back. That's good sir, please keep it up so you'd get back to your usual shape."

"Thanks. I'm trying hard." He felt something is wrong with his stomach that he went to the bathroom. He vomited some of the pizza and the chocolate mousse cake he ate earlier.

"Sir Kai, are you okay? Maybe you're dizzy. You could just sit at the couch in the office. We'd be able to handle things since it's already afternoon."

"Sorry for this."

"It's fine sir. It's an emergency and you have to rest so you'd get well soon."

 

The chefs have prepared a special soup for their sir Kai, a bone marrow soup with garlic and green onions that could heat up his stomach so he won't vomit again.

"Thank you so much for this. Love you guys."

"No worries sir. Please get well soon." He was surprised because it was actually a shrimp wanton and bone marrow soup without the noodles. It's yummy and good thing after a few hours, he didn't vomit again.

 

"What?! You vomited the pizza and cake? How dare you?! But that's the only flavor of pizza and cake that you eat. Well at least in the chocolate department."

"I don't know but I just vomited it a while ago."

"That's so weird. If it's both spoiled then I must've vomited as well, but I didn't. Ya I'll pick you up after your shift, we'll go somewhere."

 

Just as planned, Jongdae picked Jongin after his shift as if the car is Jongdae's, not Jongin's.

"Hyunh why did you sprayed on a different car perfume? Roll the windows down, I need some fresh air."

"Seriously, Kim Jongin? That is your car perfume."

"Anio it's different hyung! I know the scent of my car perfume. My favorite Cool Water."

"Fuck you but it is Cool Water. Here, smell it for yourself." Jongdae tossed the perfume to Jongin and Jongin sniffed but he couldn't take it so he threw the bottle away.

"Uwah jinjja. Ya Kim Jongin! I think I would be an uncle soon."

"Wae? Is your sister pregnant?"

"No. You are pregnant."

"Huh? But.." all the things he did with Taemin came back to him, especially when Taemin came inside his femme hole.

"Fuck. Oh my gosh."

"Don't worry, I'll get you checked. Don't be afraid, hyung is here for you."

"Thank you hyung." He felt confused yet excited and worried because he may really be pregnant. But how would he be able to bear a baby now that the father doesn't want him?

Jongdae bought 4 different pregnancy tests for Jongin to try on but it all came out negative so they went to consult a doctor to be sure.

"Pregnancy test kits might appear to be negative but the result is positive with the blood test. You're 5 weeks pregnant, Mr. Kim."

"Fuck. How did.. but I.. fuck."

"I know that you are feeling confused, excited, worried and afraid but we have handled such situations with omega males. You're having your cravings stage and your moodswings would get worse so get ready for that."

"Fucking moodswings would get worse? Yeah." Jongdae exclaimed.

"And just also to let you know, please avoid getting stressed since it could affect the baby's development. Your pregnancy is at the boundary for high risk so you have to be really careful."

"Is there anything that I shouldn't eat?"

"Uncooked foods like sunny side up eggs, raw or rare steak, raw seafoods especially sushi and then the foods that could trigger your allergies."

"Thank you so much, doctor."

 

With the news of Jongin being pregnant for 5 weeks, Jongdae is worried on how Jongin be able to handle everything.

"Are you sure you could still work even if the doctor told you that you're at the boundary for high risk pregnancy?"

"I have to. I don't have any choice since the supervisor have filed his resignation and the manager won't be going back anymore. I have to take over the restaurant while they still haven't hired replacements."

"Just make sure that you won't get strained. Don't move too much, don't carry heavy things. As much as possible, stay calm. Never allow stress to take over you. Choose tranquility and peace of mind even if that is a bit uncertain. By the way, would you be telling Taemin?"

"No hyung. He doesn't need to know."

"What would you do if your belly grows bigger?"

"I have to plan my exit soon by resigning from the restaurant. I would have to take care of myself and my baby. Besides, there's no reason for me to stay in that workplace. It would only be hard for me to act professionally while falling apart by seeing him happy with his girlfriend."

"Aigoo. I'm so sorry that you have to experience that. But you know what? I'm excited to be an uncle. I hope you're excited to be a mom too."

"I am! Even if it doesn't show in my face because I'm worried as hell, I am excited to be a mom and a daddy to my own baby. What the doctors told me is proven now that I could indeed get pregnant."

"You're one lucky bastard, Kim Jongin. Congratulations."

 

Since Jongin would be taking over the restaurant officially, he was scheduled to a midday shift that starts at 11am and ends at 8pm. He is perfectly okay with that since he could work out with the morning sickness but there were times that it's severe with his head spinning so he called in for emergency sick leave. After more than a week, he was able to work better as his morning sickness and vomiting got reduced. He's relieved that he doesn't vomit everything unlike before.

"We hope that you have recovered well." Chef Chanyeol gave him a bowl of porridge so his stomach could feel better.

"I'm okay but not as well as before. I still have those attacks especially when the acid reflux happens."

"That means you have to drink milk."

"Yes and I am trying to drink more milk than water so I could also gain weight."

 

One day when Jongin went home halfway his shift because he is sick, Taemin got worried so much.

"What?! Jongin went home? Aw bestfriend is sick, I should take care of him like before but ugh. It's frustrating." Taemin decided to show up on Jongin's unit after almost 3 weeks but it's empty. He decided to wait at the couch while contacting Jongin's phone but all his calls got rejected. He just got a message saying 'I have stopped seeing your boyfriend so stop bothering me. Don't worry, I would stay out of your life. I'll never bother you anymore.'

"Ah, he must've thought it's Naeun contacting him." So he sent him a message saying that it's him and he's already inside his unit.

"Why the hell are you here in my place?" The door opened and revealed Jongin who got some fruits and vegetables.

"I heard that you're sick. I'm so worried."

"Don't say that as if you care. I know that you're a good actor but you're not a good liar."

"I am still your bestfriend, Jongin. Of course I would worry about you."

"Ah. Yeah. The bestfriend you abandoned and threw away like nothing because of your girlfriend. Yeah. I'm that bestfriend."

"Are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad. I don't have the right to be mad because we don't have any relationship. I'm not your boyfriend and you're not my boyfriend. We're just 'bestfriends' who have agreed to fuck each other for our pleasure so we don't have to fuck different people. Maybe what I'm feeling is disappointment. I'm disappointed because I thought you are my bestfriend and I thought I know you well. Everything that happened proved it all wrong."

"I am sorry if my words and actions made you feel that way."

"Sorry but your sorry won't make any difference."

"Jongin ah.. I'm really sorry." Taemin did his best to hug Jongin when he thought he would resist but his bestfriend just let him as he stood firmly until Taemin let go.

"Seems like you already got what you need. You could leave."

"I miss you." Taemin leaned forward to Jongin and gave him a kiss but Jongin didn't even flinched. When he pulled away, Jongin led him to the door.

"A kiss and a hug should be enough. Thank you for visiting and for your concern but I don't need that. You could save those things for your girlfriend." Jongim pushed Taemin out of his unit and activated the total security lock again.

 

Jongin went to work on his midday shift and he tried his best to look the happiest, or at least be the normal Jongin people used to see. He greeted everyone brightly, including Taemin that Taemin was surprised. Jongin have acted professionally throughout his shift but something is missing; he wasn't smiling randomly anymore, he isn't bubbly as he used to be and the happiness and smile he radiated seemed to be forced.

"The fuck? He went to your unit then hugged and kissed you?" Jongdae reacted as he fetched Jongin after his shift.

"Yeah."

"Yet you didn't do anything?"

"I just stood still until he pulled away."

"Maybe you want it. You must've missed it so much."

"I do but I know it's only a stabbing hug and a kiss of death, it's never out of love. Besides, I am the only one in love. He told me that he's my bestfriend."

"yet he didn't even treat you as a human being when he made you his toy."

"Precisely."

"Aigoo. So what's your next step? Would you just go and continue working while being professional?"

"I've filed my resignation today. I only have 30 days left to work at the restaurant. I want to take care of myself and baby too. Staying there would just make me feel bad."

"That's good. I'm proud that you have pulled yourself out of that toxic relationship. Friends with benefits really is the worst."

"Yeah. It's like playing with fire, for 2 players haha."

"Now you could joke around huh? Haha. That's good, at least you're not the sullen Jongin that I am with a few weeks ago."

"I have to. This is for me and for the little human inside me."

 

It's already the middle of Jongin's midday shift when Taemin started his. Jongin have talked to him only professionally, and just ignored him when Taemin asked about his health.

"I believe I am here for work and not to talk about personal stuffs. If you may excuse me."

"Ya Kim Jongin what's your problem?! Why are you turning away from me?"

"Sorry, Lee Taemin but you don't need to know everything." Jongin told him with sharp eyes and turned away towards his office. Taemin was just left dumbfounded. Actually, Jongin just repeated the words Taemin have told him before but those words being said back to him hurt his heart so much.

"The fuck. Why am I feeling this way?"

 

Since that encounter, Jongin have lessened his interactions with Taemin. As much as possible and if it's not urgent, he wouldn't talk to Taemin. Jongin treated Taemin as if he didn't know him, as if he was never his best friend. It's like they're strangers again. One time whenJongin commuted his way back home because his car was undergoing maintainance, Taemin followed him to their usual way and also went on the train. Jongin knew that Taemin is following him so he got off on the next station with barely a second before the train door closes, leaving Taemin on the departing train while Jongin waited for the next one.

 

It's a holiday and the restaurant is packed with reservations and walk ins, so more staffs were needed. Sadly chef Dio is sick and wasn't able to go to work while chef Chanyeol have to go halfway his shift because his wife Baekhyun would be giving birth. In the end, it was only assistant chef and barista Minseok who's left at the kitchen for the next shift. He needed somebody to help him especially dinnertime is only an hour away. He checked the schedule and saw that it's Taemin's rest day but it's urgent so he swallowed his pride and called his 'bestfriend'.

"Oh finally Jongin would talk to me. Yes what is it?" He was surprised with Taemin's tone and he knew very well that he is drinking.

"I'm sorry, I know that it's your rest day today but there are some emergencies with chef Dio and chef Chanyeol. Chef Minseok is the only one here and there's a lot of guests and orders in the kitchen. I'm sorry but could you render a rest day shift tonight?"

"I knew it. So it's still not about me, you or us. It's still about work. Kim Jongin, I know for sure that you know why my voice is like this. I'm drinking with my fiancée. Sorry, I won't be able to help you."

"There's no point in talking about me, you or us because there's nothing. You are the one who wanted to stop and I am just only doing you a favor so your girlfriend won't get mad at you. Ah sorry, what was that again? Fiancée? Oh it's a fiancée then. But this is about work, and this time I really need your help. I hope I could change your mind. I'll give you another rest day anytime you want, we just need your help tonight."

"Sorry but even if you give me a one week rest day, I can't come to work intoxicated."

"Please?" Jongin's voice is pleading but when he heard someone talking at the other line, his blood started to boil.

"Why are you calling him?!? It's his rest day so why don't you just leave him alone?! By any chance, are you still hoping that one day Taemin would come to your place to fuck you like before? Sorry but even if Taemin wants to, I won't let him go. This is our bonding time so fuck off."

"Okay fine. Fine! I'm sorry for disturbing your bonding time. Enjoy the rest of the night. I don't need you anyway." He was so angry that he just ended the call even if Taemin called his name again and again.

Jongin called Jongdae to inform him that he would be having a straight duty since he have to help the operations. Jongin is a chef too, so he could definitely cook whatever dish on the menu is ordered.

"Kim Jongin don't forget that you need to rest! Do not tire yourself too much!"

"Ah yeah." For a while Jongin forgot that he is pregnant but he has to do his responsibilities. He started to work at the kitchen, chopped the ingredients needed and waited for the orders. In a few minutes, lots of orders were thrown at him and Minseok until Jongdae arrived.

"Ya I told you to not overwork yourself! I got some help for you." He indeed got a backup by tagging his older brother Jaejoong who is Jongin's senior in the university.

"Oh my, thank you so much!"

"Don't worry much anymore, Henry is also on his way here to help."

"Oh my gosh I really thank you, chef Jae."

 

After a few hours of nonstop cooking, Jongin felt a pang on his stomach but ignored it. He remember that he haven't eaten dinner yet so he thought it must be because he's hungry.

"Jongin ah, let's eat. We could eat now."

"Yes thank you." He got the Shanghai pork and shrimp rolls and kimchi fried rice that his seniors cooked for everyone while he made sure he also got his seaweed soup. He learned that having seaweed soup every meal would make the baby's development better.

After eating their late dinner at 9pm, a group of 40 people went in the restaurant for a late dinner and also ordered some bottles of beer and soju. The group have ordered a lot so they went back to another round of nonstop cooking.

 

He didn't know that Jongdae left until he saw him went inside the restaurant with Taemin.

"I got another help here because Jaejoong hyung and Henry hyung have to go home and attend to their kids."

"Is that so? It's alright. I'm sorry for this. I would just give my token for your help in a few days. Thank you so much, chef Jae hyung and chef Henry ge."

"No worries. We know how it feels to be left alone helpless. It's fine but sorry, we have to go."

"Your help was more than enough. Thank you." Jongin sent them off and went back with Taemin to the kitchen to cook. He doesn't like the smell so he also wore a mask, and he thought that it'd be a way to prevent himself from getting kissed if Taemin attempts to.

"So even if I went here halfway of my shift, you won't talk to me?"

"I'll only talk if it's needed. Just so you know, you reek of alcohol, chef."

"I told you that I don't intend to go on this unscheduled shift. You should be thankful to Jongdae hyung. He was the one who took me out of Naeun's tight embrace."

"I am sorry if my cousin took you away from your girlfriend slash fiancée when you were having a lot of fun drinking." Jongin doesn't even look at Taemin, all this time he was talking while cooking.

"Look Jongin, I am really sorry for whatever I've said and done that made you feel like that. I want peace. I am okay with Naeun yet we're are on war."

"You're the one who wanted this. I'm just returning the favor."

"But I regret that. I don't want that anymore. I'm sorry Jongin, I really do. It hurts when you ignore me and when you try your best not to appear in my sight. The train ride, everytime you acted like I am invisible and when you made me feel as if I am nothing. I miss you, I miss my bestfriend so much. I miss Kim Jongin, the Jongin that I know and the Jongin that knows me well."

"I do not know you. I only know chef Ace but not Lee Taemin. Chef Ace is better since he just work hard and kept his private life off work. But Lee Taemin, he never revealed himself. He made me believe that I know him but I only knew the things he wanted me to know. But that is not the real Lee Taemin. That man is far different from who you are. I do not know you anymore, especially when you told me that I don't need to know everything about you."

"So you got offended with that. I am sorry, I was just mad."

"I am sorry too, because it wouldn't make it hurt any less. Excuse me." Jongin walked out from the kitchen and went to his office especially that the orders are all served. The kitchen have closed for the final orders so they could rest before they clean up but when Taemin started to clean, he noticed drops of blood on the floor.

"Jongin, did you cut yourself?" He went out of the kitchen and saw Jongin unconcious on the office floor.

"Jongdae hyung!! Hyung!! Jonginnnie! Wake up! What happened to you? Where are you hurt? You're bleeding!"

"Taemin? Oh my Jongin!!!! Move away! Ah eotteokhae? Jongin ah, wake up!! Hey! Ah jinjja I'll take you to the hospital." Jongdae tried to carry Jongin but since he is heavier and taller than his hyung, Taemin helped to take him to the hospital. Taemin pledged to go back after everything is alright while the other staffs in the restaurant understood that it's an emergency.


	6. The End?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ●○● READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! ○●○
> 
> This story contains smut and mpreg, may also be trigger for sensitive readers with the mention of submission, depression, forced sex AND LOSS/MISCARRIAGE.
> 
>  
> 
> Those who are not comfortable with the topics mention above, scroll down until you see the end of the high trigger warning.
> 
>  
> 
> ○○○ TRIGGER WARNING IS ACTIVATED ○○○

_**> >>high trigger warning begins** _

"Jonginnie.. wake up please.. what happened to you?" Taemin held Jongin's hand tightly until he has to go inside the emergency room.

"We could only allow one companion inside. Who would go with him?"

"Hyung, can I go? I am really worried.."

"Maybe it's really inevitable. When he wakes up he'd probably get mad at me but.. okay. Go with him."

"Thank you hyung." He went inside and saw Jongin's chef pants with blood. 'Did he cut himself? Did he stab himself? Because so much blood came out. I don't think it'll only be a mere wound..' he mumbled to himself.

 

Taemin trembled when he saw his bestfriend in IV drips and oxygen mask. His clothes are changed and his color is back. Jongdae was also allowed to go join him.

"Mr. Kim Jongin's family?"

"I'm his cousin. He's his bestfriend."

"May I ask of his parents or siblings?"

"They're living in Japan. I'm his guardian."

"Alright. Okay, these are the results. Should I discuss this to you now?"

"I just need one favor doctor, don't tell him that you told his bestfriend about it as well. They aren't really in good terms lately."

"Okay. Maybe it's one of the reason why but since you said so, I won't tell him. Let's proceed. Kim Jongin, one of the small number of Korean omega males.. I'm sorry but he suffered from a miscarriage. The baby's heartbeat got too weak and there are chromosomal anomalies which caused his bleeding. We're sorry but we were only able to save him."

"Oh my gosh. Our Jonginnie, sorry. Your body got too week and because of that, this happened." Jongdae was sad while Taemin is in shock.

"When he wakes up, I'll check him again to see if he'd be discharged as soon as possible."

"Thank you, doctor." The doctor left and Taemin went closer to Jongin.

"Hyung, can you explain? I can't understand what's happening."

"You're such a stupid fucker you know? You got him pregnant and now because of too much stress, he got too weak and your baby is gone."

"Baby? Gone? So Jongin is pregnant?" Taemin's memory of fucking Jongin alternately on both his holes and giving him all his cum have flashed before his eyes. He also remember the time when Jongin told him that he could get pregnant since he have both the male and female reproductive system. When reality hit him with the truth, he burst out crying.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry Jonginnie. I did wrong. I didn't think about you and your welfare. I'm sorry, I didn't know.."

"He told me that you don't have to know it, that you don't have to know everything especially you have your girlfriend now. You were also mad at him and he doesn't want you and your girlfriend to fight again because of him so he just let you go. And yet because you're an insensitive fucker, you still went to bother him, stressed him out and made him weak. Sadly, I won't be an uncle and he won't be a mom and dad anymore. He was excited even if it doesn't show on his face since he was still hurting because of you."

"It's really all my fault. I should've not told him those things. I only thought of Naeun's feelings and the thought that we have to be okay while leaving Jongin behind. I'm really sorry for what I've done and for hurting him, hyung. Jonginnie, I'm really sorry."

"I know and you really should be. I hope when he wakes up, you'd do the right things. Treat him better. You may not know this but he's on his way to walk out of your life because he doesn't intend to tell you about your baby so if you still want him to stay, make an effort."

"Since the day that he ignored me, I was really hurt. I missed him a lot. I miss being with him, sharing things with him, doing lots of things with him. I crave to do all the times we've spent together again and I was able to sort my feelings. I've been with him for more than half of my life and it's hard to live without him. I love him so much that my heart hurts because we're not how we used to be."

"So you love Jongin?"

"Yes hyung."

"Are you sure? Are you sure that it's love and not pity?"

"I'm sure. My love for him is different from what I feel from Naeun."

"Still a fucker indeed. Well I don't care anymore. Go and do whatever you want but if you really love Jongin, you have to win him back. Make efforts not just because you need him but because you can't live without him."

 

The atmosphere became more gloomy even if Jongin is already discharged because he gave out the deadly question.

"Hyung, what did the doctor say about baby?"

"Uhm, actually the doctor gave me this and told me to just let you read it. All the details are written down."

"Oh alright, thanks." Jongdae knew that Jongin found out about the truth when a tear dropped on the medical records he's reading.

"So my baby gave up. That's sad that he or she also gave up on his or her dad when I gave up on him. It's okay, I could still have this as a remembrance that once in my life I had him for more than a month. That Taemin gave me hope even if it only lasted that short."

"I know it hurts and I know you're not okay but you'll eventually be able to cope up. Hyung is here to support you. You know how much I love you right? You're almost my little brother and you know that I am always here. Always."

"Thanks hyung."

_**< << high trigger warning has ended** _

 

After 3 days of Jongin being held hostage by Jongdae, he went back to his unit but was surprised him is the familiar man waiting for him at his couch.

"Jonginnie! I was so worried of you! You passed out after cooking lots of dishes. I thought that I'll lose you forever. Please stay healthy, please take care of yourself."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here to formally and sincerely say sorry for everything that I've done and said that hurt you. I'm really sorry, Jongin. Please forgive me." Taemin was teary eyed as he knelt down and asked for Jongin's forgiveness.

"Taemin, I'm sorry but please, not now. I'm still too tired and emotionally unstable."

"I know. I just want you to know that I am sincere with this. I want you back in my life. I want to go back to the days when we were laughing and making memories together. When you ignored me, I was devastated. I never thought that I'd be greatly affected with that but I did. And that's when I realize that you are very important to me and I don't want to lose you. I also know that I've hurt you so much but if you'd give me one chance, I'll do my best efforts to rebuild our friendship again. But it's okay if it's not now since you're not ready yet. I will wait for you to accept me when you're all recovered."

"I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I must admit that every word, every deed and every feeling you gave me still hurts a lot. My life fell apart when I did a stupid mistake that got our friendship in jeopardy. I did my best to make you feel all the great things and yet that's what I've got. I don't know if I could do it again."

"I understand you. If I was the one in your shoes I'd feel that way too. I know it hurts you to lose your bestfriend then one day he comes back to you asking to take him again. But I want you to know, I'll do anything for your forgiveness. Let me give you what you deserve and let me love you again."

"Jjamkkan. You.. you love me?"

"Yes. I came to realize that what we've had was not just deep friendship but also love- though not the platonic kind. I don't see you as a sibling. I've confirmed that it's real and true when we fell apart. I realized that I love you because you're someone I can't live without."

"Can you hear yourself Taemin? Are you sure about that?"

"Yes I am sure. I've contemplated for a while about what I was feeling and I finally found the answer. It's you and I can't let you go. I can't let go of the love that's constantly pouring out of my heart. Heck, I only knew that you're the one that I've been praying for: someone who would be with me, understand me and love me. In return, someone I'd want to be with, someone I want to understand and someone that I love. I swear if you'd give me a chance I would prove that I am worthy of your love too."

"Why are you like that? Why just now? I've been loving you when I thought I was only addicted and attached to you. I crave not just your touch but also your attention, appreciation and acceptance."

"So you love me too?"

"Yes."

"Does that mean.."

"No, not yet. If we'd love each other, we have to rebuild trust first. Rebuild our friendship then maybe when the foundation is strongly built, we could let love take over us."

"Will you give me a chance?"

"As much as I hate it, I won't but I have to so I could also be free of the hatred that's clouding up my heart. I will allow you to love me but please help me forget the hate that I feel for you."

"Alright. I'll do that. I'll help you."

"And you have to be truthful."

"I'll never lie to you again. I'll tell you everything you have to know even if you don't ask me about it. I'll share it with you, so you could trust me again and know the real Lee Taemin thoroughly. I'd do that for you so I could help you believe in me again."

"Thank you." Finally, Jongin made him stand up and hugged him.

"God I really miss hugging you, Jonginnie."

"Me too." Jongin's tears were uncontrollably coming out of his eyes and Taemin wiped it away with soft kisses.

"I know it's been hard for you but now, I'm here to dry your tears. You could cry if you want, even if I hate seeing you like that but if you must, then go ahead." Taemin kissed Jongin's forehead then eventually kissed Jongin's lips.

"I love you Jongin. I really do."

"Thank you."

 

Taemin stayed at Jongin's unit as he took care of him and cooked for him. He doesn't want his love to move around so much when he should rest following what happened. Jongin also told Taemin about their now guardian angel.

"I am saddened with what happened but we have to accept it. We won't forget our little angel but maybe in time, when you want it, we could try again."

"Taeminnie.."

"Yes love?"

"I'll be leaving."

"Huh? Leaving? Where are you going?"

"I'll be leaving my job. That's what I mean."

"Ah. I thought you'd be going away from me. Please don't do that, it'd be the death of me."

"Now that you're by myside, I won't leave you. Well, I originally planned for that to get away from you and to take care of myself and baby alone but since it happened, I can't take it back."

"But do you really want to leave? I mean with your condition, that our angel is not with us anymore. Would you still want to leave the restaurant?"

"I wanted to try new things after I get to recover. The doctor told me I need 3 months to fully recover. I may still have spotting and other symptoms since my body still have to adjust."

"If that's your decision then it's okay. You definitely need to rest so you could get your energy back. Don't worry, I'll take care of you as well."

"Uhm how about.. your girlfriend?"

"She's back to her hometown. And we're over."

"You broke up?"

"Yes I broke up with her. It was all because of pity plus I found out that she's only faking her sickness."

"What a fake and big liar. Tsk. I knew it. You told me that she has a terminal disease right?"

"Yup. Wae?"

"How come someone with a terminal disease live her life like a demon. She doesn't even think about doing things that would take her to heaven when it's time. That girl won't die yet, she is still very evil."

"Yeah."

 

Taemin moved to Jongin's unit after his last day at the restaurant and they got to live together as a couple. They haven't had sex though since Jongin's condition requires him to rest for 3 months. Sometimes he would just hear Taemin jacking off at the bathroom and Taemin would tell him tonot look so he won't get tempted.

Their relationship got better since Taemin have opened himself to Jongin and have told him all the things he need to know, even if Jongin wasn't asking.

 

Jongin have also passed the three months rest or abstinence, and their first sex after what have happened was mind blowing because they missed each other so much.

"Would it be okay if I give it all to you?"

"As far as I know I wouldn't get pregnant anytime soon because of the hormone pills. I think I remember the doctor saying that it's safe at least until 6 months."

"Okay love. I'll give it all to you. I love you so much."

 

One cozy afternoon, Taemin and Jongin was just lying by the bed. Taemin suddenly called Jongin's name while he's caressing Jongin's abdomen.

"Jongin.."

"Suddenly calling me by my name when you have already started calling me 'love'. So you already wavered?"

"Ania that's not what I meant. I called you by your name because I'm serious. I want to ask you something and I won't be joking around okay?"

"Okay TAEMIN go ahead and shoot that damn question. You're making me fucking nervous."

"Uhm.. Do you still think about Yixing?"

"Yes, I do think of him."

"Wow. I knew it.. I should've known.."

"That person had been a part of my life for a while. I'd still think of him but not like before. I wonder and worry on how is he now, how he's doing sincs he became a dad and he was able to fulfill his dream to have his own child. You know, there are things that I thought about him especially we've made so-called 'plans' before, the plans that was shattered in vain. Besides, he's still our friend. He's Jongdae's bestfriend so he would always be a part of my life."

"Do you still love him?"

"Aigoo, suddenly asking me if I still love Yixing or not."

"I just want to know okay? I'm so curious. Yeah."

"I love him as a person, as a friend and as my cousin Jongdae's bestfriend. If you're asking me if I still love him as a lover or somewhat romantically, not anymore. I have moved on from him for a long time now so if you're kind of insecure if one time we'd get to meet again, you won't have to worry about it. It's not like I'll go back to him and destroy his family. I'm not that kind of person."

"Oh so you don't love him anymore. I mean you don't love him romantically anymore."

"Yes. I don't love him romantically anymore."

"Another question.. how come you're still a virgin when I fucked you for the first time? I still can't believe that you gave it all to me."

"Still can't believe that you're one hell of a lucky bastard, Taemin?"

"Yeah. I am sure one hell of a very lucky bastard to have your firsts."

"Just like what I've told you before, I topped him. I was the one fucking his ass."

"Can you do it to me too?"

"Huh?!" Jongin was surprised with what Taemin have told him. Since the day that they agreed to be fuck buddies, Taemin was always the one that fucked Jongin.

"I don't know. I'm curious on how you made love with Yixing.."

"Uhm actually, biologically, it's hard for me. It takes a lot of time to get me fully hardened. I took stimulants and aphrodisiacs when I was with Yixing. Most of the time when we have sex, I would only get half hard easily but it would only end there. The doctor said that I have better and quicker orgasm on my femme hole."

"Oh so you need to be seriously stimulated?"

"Yup yup yup."

"Tell me about your fantasies."

"Ya is this an interview? What's with you?"

"I'm so curious, yeah."

"You're so cute. Uhm.. let me think. Ah, give me time to think, I'll list it down."

 

 


	7. The Comeback

Taemin and Jongin have experimented in bed as Taemin did lots of effort to make Jongin hard enough so he could fuck him, without the help of any stimulants or aphrodisiacs. 

 

Jongin arrived home after decorating lots of cakes. He got one to enjoy so he excitedly called Taemin.

"Taemin? Love, I got a cake for us to chomp on." But Taemin seemed to be busy at the bedroom where he could hear some party electro music blaring from his bluetooth speaker.

"Taeminnie love, let's eat. Oh." He went to the bedroom to fetch Taemin so they could eat the cake but he saw his love sitting at the bed, wearing a high neckline black sleeveless top. He was more surprised when he realized that it is not a top, it is a bikini cut bodysuit with a closed zipper at the crotch.

"Uhm hi love. Ugh, got stocked.." what made Jongin lose his mind (and get him half hard gradually) was the red band - some kind of ribbon or cloth or something that tied Taemin's wrists together.

Jongin have completely understood the situation and smirked. He liked Taemin's surprise and effort to get him hard- hard enough to fuck the seductive man in front of him.

"First of all, I would have to greet you back. Hi love, seemed like you prepared something. What is it? Do you need help?"

"Uhm yup. I need help because I got tied since I have been too naughty with you in the past."

"Oh. Too naughty in the past. Okay. Do you think you deserve that?"

"I deserve being tied but as much as possible, I want to do something for you in return."

"Something for me?" Jongin couldn't take the cheesiness of Taemin being submissive so he chuckled.

"Wae? Why are you laughing? I am here, tied like this because I am punished for being too naughty to you in the past. Now to take this out, I have to do something for you. Something you like, something you love and something that you won't be able to resist."

"Oh. So it's three wishes? Are you some kind of a genie?"

"Kind of. Ah Kim Jongin palli and 'sowoneul malhaebwa'." Taemin suddenly stood up and danced to Girls' Generations' 'Tell Me Your Wish'.

"Woaaah ah jinjja. Okay okay. Since you also have a sensual and erotic party music, why don't you dance for me? I'd like to see you dance erotically with your wrists tied."

"Alright." Just at the right moment, the next song came uo and Taemin grinned because that song is so sensual and erotic.

 _"Eoduun jomyeong arae tto sijakdoeneun Move uahan sonjit eungeunhan nunbit.."_ he swayed his hips while he leaned his tied wrists a bit forward.

_(A/N Scene inspired by this gif, just pretend that it's a bikini bodysuit hehehe)_

 

"Woah. That's very nice. I really like it."

"Really? I'm glad that you like it, love. How about the next one? Your next wish?" Taemin smirked as Jongin took his dress clothes off until he only have his boxers on.

"Something that I love.. my wish.. ah! I'll just do it for myself."

"Ania ania I should do it for you. Oh.." Taemin wasn't able to appeal as Jongin went to him, bent down and unzipped his bodysuit crotch. Jongin was given with another surprise, Taemin is wearing a silicon cockring.

"So making my wishes come true makes you hard, huh? Now, want me to tell you what I love?"

"Yes love."Jongin made a freefall on their bed then gestured Taemin to come over.

"Come here love. Opposite on fours. 69. Let's suck and eat each other. I'll love that."

Taemin is a bit hesistant because he may not be able to resist and fuck Jongin instead but he challenged to also test his own limits and desire to get fucked for the first time. He crawled to the bed towards Jongin's abs, checking if his hardening cock is opposite Jongin's mouth.

"Taeminnie, I'll go ahead." Indeed, Jongin licked his cock and soon enough, took it inside his mouth. Taemin on the other hand, got pleasured and distracted while moaning that he started licking and sucking Jongin's dick a bit late. Taemin is growing very hard inside Jongin's mouth but since he got a cock ring, he won't be able to cum quickly. He was just surprised when Jongin's fingers that was playing with his balls slid the cockring off, making him cum inside Jongin's mouth.

"Ya why did you do that?"

"It's okay, I'll also have to get you tired so you won't have the energy to fuck me later on. You want me to take you this time, right love?"

"Yes love." He made a loud pop over Jongin's cock before he answered, and went back to sucking Jongin again until he's more than half hard.

"Woah. Taemin's power is better than aphrodisiacs and stimulants huh? Very nice, you got my cock hard very soon."

"Maybe we could proceed.."

"But I still have the third wish, right?"

"Yes but if your cock is ready then I could grant your last wish later."

"Ah! I know. Beg for it."

"Beg?"

"Yes." Taemin, who is a passionate dominant would suddenly beg to get fucked, courtesy of Jongin's wish.

"You told me you'd grant a wish that I won't be able to resist. I can't resist when you're begging so go ahead and do it."

Taemin gave a cocky grin as he inhaled and exhaled. He have composed himself and went to crawl near Jongin's cock. He looked, sniffed, felt and licked Jongin's cock while he was looking at Jongin's eyes. Taemin is trying hard to get his lover's cock stay hard so he would eventually get fucked.

"Jongin.. love.. please?" Taemin pleaded sweetly. Jongin got hardened more than before. Taemin also lowered his cock to Jongin's legs and the younger could feel the throbbing cock from his pleading lover.

"Aaahhhh jebal.. palli." Taemin sloppily kissed, licked and sucked Jongin's cock while giving seriously sexy, sensual and erotic face, as if he's being pleasured so much.

"Fuck it I really can't resist you, love." Jongin got the bottle of lube by the bedside table and got some on his fingers. Taemin unzipped his bodysuit crotch fully so it would expose his butt.

"Ready?"

"Fuck me or I'll fuck you. Palli while I could still resist you."

"Okay. Here I come. Continue sucking, love." He inserted a finger inside Taemin's ass and he shrieked.

"Aouh!!! Ya slowly! I'm still a virgin."

"Thanks for reminding me. But I haven't got half of my index finger inside yet.."

"Just do it slowly. Please. Ah jebal." Jongin obliged as he slowly inserted his index finger deeper. When Taemin was able to adjust, Jongin could hear him moans while sucking him.

"Oh my gosh Jongin does watching me suck your cock while inserting your finger inside my ass make you so hot? You're so wet. Ah I love it." Taemin stopped sucking him and proceeded to licking his super aroused wet femme hole. Taemin also tried multitasking as he kissed, licked and sucked Jongin's femme hole while giving him a handjob. Jongin inserted his middle finger inside Taemin's ass and of course, the older can't help but whimper so he stopped giving licks and handjob. Taemin showed his dominance for the first time since Jongin got home by sitting up to spread Jongin's legs.

"I'm so hard and I might leak everything so I have to fuck you, love. You could punish me again later on."

"Okay." Taemin kissed Jongin as he aligned his cock on Jongin's femme entrance. His wrists are still tied and he was getting annoyed but Jongin wanted to leave it there because it gives off a more 'forced' feel.

"Gosh Kim Jongin. I love you." Taemin was rock hard but he lasted long until he came inside Jongin after lots of full power thrusts.

"You're telling me that you love me while fucking me? Wow. You're really a monster." He was silenced when Taemin made him clean his cock and gave a loud pop for the finale.

"Glorious! My cum leaking out of your hole is still one of my favorites. Now that I am done with you, you could punish me again, love." Taemin crawled again and faced away from him. On all fours, he raised his butt towards Jongin while he tilted his head.

"Please fuck me, love." Taemin gave his innocent pleading erotic face again that made Jongin the hardest.

"Okay. With pleasure, love." 

Jongin leaned forward just a few inches away from Taemin's face, making him lean on top of Taemin also on all fours. He kissed Taemin's cheek sweetly as he slowly pushed the head of his lubed cock on Taemin's ass.

"Uoh.."

"Is it painful? Want me to stop?"

"Anio. Keep going. I can endure."

"Okay." Jongin slowly pushed himself in with Taemin's loud mewls that eventually turned into moans. Soon enough, Jongin is thrusting in and out of Taemin slowly but surely.

"Oh my gosh. So this is how it feels. Woah."

"How does it feel?"

"It feels so nice! I mean, I never thought that I'd be fucked since I am a dominant but yeah. It feels really good. Your cock is amazing, love."

"Your virgin ass is the best too. You squeeze my cock so much! As expected since you're so tight."

"Are you sure I'm the best? How about Yixing?"

"Suddenly mentioning Yixing's name now that I'm fucking you. Aigoo."

"I just want to know. I am curious."

"Yixing is already stretched out back then. And he was the first one that I fucked in my whole life so fucking you with a very tight ass like this is a whole new world to me. I love it so much. You're really the best."

"Good to know. Hehe. Aouhh!! There! Oh my.. It feels better when you hit that one!"

"I know right but not so much or you'll cum again. I actually want to try something.." Jongin hugged Taemin from behind, while they were both on all fours, then tried to sit down with Taemin, without taking his cock out of his love's ass.

"Fold your legs then ride me from behind."

"Not quite too sure of I could do this though. But I'll try.." Taemin thrusted up and down of Jongin's cock but was stopped when Jongin hugged him again and pushed his head flat on the bed with his ass up. Jongin thrusted in and out of him as careful as possible yet as fast as he can so Taemin won't get hurt as he came inside his love for the first time. Taemin fell limp forward the bed but he tilted his head on the side and smiled at Jongin.

"The best cock in the world. I came as well. Sorry, I stained the sheets."

"It's fine, we'd wash them together anyway. By the way, very nice ass. Come here." Jongin helped Taemin to sit up and kissed his boyfriend sweetly.

"I appreciate your efforts, love. I love you."

"You're always welcome and don't worry, I have so much ideas on the list so get ready always. I love you too."

"Now let me take care of this." Jongin got a scissor to cut the red tie on Taemin's wrists.

"Ties, check. Take bondage off on the list, okay? Surprise me with another one next time." Jongin winked at Taemin as they hugged each other and rolled to the bed to sleep.

  
  


One day Jongdae went to get some cakes Jongin decorated and to bond with him. It's been almost a year since the unfortunate incident happened.

"I'm doing fine now hyung. I was able to cope up with the loss especially Taemin was by myside. He helped me accept it and also treated me right. He treats me like a princess and I really think he's really sincere. You know that song, 'maybe this time, love won't end..'? I've felt that because I'm smiling like how I used to. Heck, maybe even more than that. I'm happy that we're together."

"He's living with you right?"

"Yup but sometimes he goes back to his home since he still have some of his things left there."

"Ah. Well I'm glad that Taemin is doing his best in treating you right. I have warned him to never hurt you again. If he fucks up next time, I'm sorry but I don't know what I would do."

"Hyung, it's fine. Thank you, I know that you're concerned about me but we'll be okay."

"I have to make sure of that so I'd still keep an eye on him. Remind him that he's been warned ara?"

"Yes hyung hehe."

The cousins have parted ways but just when Jongin have told his hyung that he's okay with Taemin by his side, Jongdae saw Taemin with Naeun inside the mall- that same girl that kept Taemin as her hostage on that same night Jongin got a miscarriage. His blood boiled that he called Jongin.

"Jongin ah, have you arrived home?"

"Yes I just got off from the lift. Wae?"

"Sorry Jongin but I think you have to know this. This truth."

"What's that hyung?"

"I'm here at the mall, guess who's here? It's Taemin and the girl. They're together. They look sweet, like how couples do. They're heading to the theater so don't expect Taemin to arrive home in a few hours." Jongin's hopes were shattered again. The hopes that he and Taemin could live peacefully together without any backlash from the girl was shattered right then and there. He thought that Taemin loves him but maybe he's wrong again since he's with that girl now when he is supposed to be with him. He thought that it's finally everafter, but it's actually never forever.

 

That night, there was no Taemin that came home and slept by Jongin's side so he figured that what he thought was true.

"He didn't come home. Ah, I should've not got my hopes high." He sent a message to Jongdae and his cousin replied soon.

"Aigoo. Maybe you really just have to instill in your mind that Taemin is a two-timer. An unfaithful fucker, a selfish guy, a player, a womanizer, a cheater, a liar and a killer."

"It hurts. Ah jinjja." He tried his best to hold his tears back but his eyes betrayed him.

"I know it hurts and it's okay to cry. You got betrayed again and you're not okay, it's normal to cry especially you love that person. But that person seemed to be too full of himself. I guess you gave your heart to someone heartless so it would really hurt."

"What should I do?"

"Uhm.. wind up? Go somewhere else so when he comes back there, if ever he does, he won't be able to see you."

"Actually, it's been a while since he last went home here."

"What?! Why didn't you tell me?"

"He started going back to his place, to his brother's apartment I think 3 months ago? He only went here I think once a week."

"Fucking fuck he must've been back with her since then! Aigoo jinjja Kim Jongin what is happening?"

"It's okay hyung. Now I know the reason why, and the truth. I'll be okay. Even if I don't want to, I have to."

"What's your plan?"

"I don't know? Maybe I could try doing your suggestion."

"What?"

"Go far away for the meantime."

"And where would you go, huh?"

"I could always visit my sisters. Plus I just knew that I have a cute nephew and a pretty niece. Maybe going there could make me feel better."

"Yeah. You can do that. You could play with the kids but be careful okay? It might trigger some trauma. You know what happened."

"I'm mentally stable, hyung."

"Well I'm just reminding you. I don't want you to feel hurt so much. Getting hurt because of Taemin is already too much, I don't know how you'd be able to handle it if you got triggered because of your loss."

"I'll be careful. Thank you."

 

Jongin have waited for 3 days but no Taemin have set foot at his unit so he got his passport and tickets to drive to Jongdae's house. His cousin would drive him to the airport.

"Wow, my cousin would be going back to his roots."

"What roots? I'm not a plant."

"Say hello to Heechul hyung, Ahyoung and Seolhyun for me."

"I'll surely do. Take care of my car ara? If ever Taemin goes around asking where I went, tell him that you don't know."

"Well if Taemin went to me and ask for you I might've knock him out. He's a good for nothing two timer. I hope you could find love on your trip. Don't forget, if anyone asks you out, do not decline. Remember, you're still single. You're not married and the fact that Taemin is with another girl makes you single and available again."

"I'll try. I'll go ahead. See you after a month."

"Sure. Enjoy your trip back to Tokyo."

 

The 3-hour flight has ended and he got back to his home country again. Jongin is actually born in Japan and is a half-Japanese. His mom is Japanese while his dad is Korean. Kai is actually his Japanese name and he only used it for professional purposes, to imply that he is a mix of two different countries, cultures, language and blood though he got dual citizenship.

 

He went out of Narita Airport and went to where his sister Ahyoung is waiting for him.

"My baby brother Kaiii!! I missed you so much!!" Ahyoung, Japanese name Yura, welcomed him back to their home country.

"Eotteokhae? I'm running out of Nihonggo."

"Babo. Haha don't worry you'd be fine because you'd remember it all once you get comfortable."

"Yay. Uwaha, nuna, I miss you a lot!!!"

"I know it's Kobe wagyu, not me." Jongin just grinned and the two of them laughed.

 

"So how are you doing in Korea, Director Kai?"

"I've already resigned at the restaurant. I'm currently a graphic designer and an artisan cake decorator in a strawberry dessert shop."

"Aigoo your favorite. Hehe. Anyways welcome home and I'm sure you'd be glad to meet your nephew from Ari and your niece from me." Seolhyun, Japanese name Ari, is his youngest sister.

"So it's Seolhyun's baby, not yours?"

"I'm already satisfied with my baby girl. Besides her dad is not around anymore."

"Oh I'm sorry. It must've been hard for you to raise her alone."

"I'm okay. I don't want to, but I have to. Strong blood runs in the family so yeah."

"I'm proud of you, nuna. So you and Ari already have your own babies. What about Heechul hyung?"

"You're actually here in perfect timing. Heechul hyung would be getting married. Remember your ex boyfriend in highschool? The chaebol Hyundai guy.."

"Siwon hyung?"

"Yes! Siwon."

"Oh what about Siwon?"

"They're getting married."

"Oh that's a little.. unexpected. Haha."

"Ya don't tell me you're still not over him?"

"Ey are you kidding me? It's been 10 years since we broke up. I was too young to agree and go out with him. I'm okay now."

"You must've got yourself a boyfriend then, huh? Who is it? Ah! I remember the Japanese-Chinese guy. What's his name again?"

"Ah that's Zhang Yixing. Japanese name Lay (Rei). We already broke up almost 2 years ago. He already have a family too. He have a son now."

"Oh so you're single again. That's okay, that means the two of us could go out and meet someone who would love us."

 

Jongin have arrived to their family house in Chiba. He was greeted by his younger sister Seolhyun/Ari carrying her baby boy by the steel door.

"Omo nissan! Ani, oppa!! Finally you're back!"

"Haha yeah. It's been a while. Our Ari is all grown up. And you have a baby. Woah."

"Ah yes. Say hello to your nephew Jun. Hello uncle Kai."

"He's cute. How many months is he now?"

"He turned 3 months old last week." So her baby is almost the same age as his little angel, if that night didn't happen. He got emotional but pulled himself together.

"Oppa what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Uhm just happy to see your baby. I'm proud that my baby sister is now a mom. Congratulations."

"Thanks oppa. Ah, you must've been hungry, we got your favorite ready, you could just fry it."

"What?"

"Teriyaki and Karaage. Later on I'll cook some Torikatsu curry."

"Yes!!! I've missed Japanese curry so much. Thanks."

"With lots of cabbage salad and Japanese mayonnaise. Enjoy and welcome back home."

 

Jongin wasn't able to keep it up to himself so he told his sisters what happened to his baby and his relationship with Taemin. Of course, the two ladies got angry knowing that it's Taemin, the Taemin that they know, the Taemin that is Jongin's best friend since they were little, have hurt him so bad. They have showered him with lots of hugs and sisterly love until their eldest brother Heechul, Japanese name Keiji (nameplay of Casey hehe) arrived with his fiancé Choi Siwon.

"Omona, our Jonginnie is finally back. Come here and let me give you a hug." Heechul was playful and a skinship addict so he hugged his brother Jongin and smashed him down the sofa to tickle his sides. They both realized that Siwon is watching them awkwardly.

"Ah yes. Sorry if I'm rude. Hello, it's been a while. Nice to see you again, Siwon hyung." Jongin bowed and waved at him while Heechul is by his side.

"Sorry for this."

"Ania gwaenchanha. I'm happy for the two of you. I'm glad that you've found love and wanted to settle down. I'm more than grateful that my only hyung would be with someone I know. I won't worry much."

"Really?"

"Yup. No worries, no hard feelings."

 

Heechul and Siwon took Jongin out since they were thankful that he doesn't mind the two marrying each other. They went out to have some steak and ramen while Jongin told them the reason why he's okay with their marriage.

"Oh so that punk still hurts you. Ya Siwonnie let's get some revenge then. Jonginnie, sit opposite us. I'll take pictures of the two of you. Ya, send that to Jongdae so when he has the opportunity, he could show that to Taemin."

"Ah jinjja. It's okay hyung, don't need to do that."

"I insist! I would post that on my sns as well. 'It's good to be dining out with you after 10 years, Jongin' hahaha."

"I'm pretty sure he would come back to you like a mad man."

"I don't think that would work though but thank you to the two of you."

 

 

Heechul and Siwon registered their marriage at the civil marriage registry municipal office and of course, the Kim family were very happy. They also sent them off to their honeymoon in Europe. Jongin, together with his two sisters and their babies just went out to stroll.

 

Seolhyun preferred to stay at home since Jun is still small and he clings onto his mom so much. Rahee is almost 2 years old and got attached to her uncle Jongin so they went to Tokyo Disney Sea.. Ahyoung is happy to see her baby girl chuckling especially Jongin also treats his niece as his own child.

"Since it would be burdensome to Seolhyun and she got a boyfriend, I'll just go on a date with Ahyoung nuna and Rahee. Yeeey!!" He held his sister's hand and the two of them playfully acted like they are lovers. Rahee is also happy to have experienced having a dad even if he's her uncle.

"You would definitely make a good dad in the future. Thank you for loving your niece like you're her dad."

"No worries, nuna. After all, I have a soft spot on babies. And she's so adorable. In the future, hopefully, I'd get to bear an adorable baby like Rahee."

"You'll definitely bear one, at the right time, with the right person."

"Sorry to ask but.. do you think Rahee's dad is the right person for you?"

"Uhm, how should I put this.. maybe he was the right person for me but our timing wasn't too desirable. He still got his player attitude and can't let go of that even if Rahee is already with us so I decided to leave him. I mean, if I wasn't enough, it would be okay. I could give him everything he wants, especially a baby. But then when Rahee came and both of us are still not enough for him then maybe he's asking for too much, or something different, that is clearly not us. I don't think a relationship would ever work if you'd always be by his side even if he goes out to play and to search for 'the one'. Maybe he only loved the thought that he would always have somebody to come home to. Somebody that loves him, even if he doesn't love us back. It was toxic and tiring but I have to be strong for my baby so I left him and decided to raise her alone."

"You were able to make up your mind and decide things that soon?"

"It wasn't really an easy thing - deciding to walk out of your love's life and also keeping in mind that the next days would be spent without him. I love him but I have to love myself so I could love Rahee enough that she won't need to crave for a father's love."

"You're so strong and brave. I really admire you. I wish that I am as strong and brave as you."

"Believe me, you'd be able to do that once you got tired of everything. You'll get tired of the cycle especially if he doesn't want to change. He'll eventually lose you."

"Actually, he made me his side chick."

"What?!"

"He has a girlfriend while we got together."

"But Jongin that is too-"

"I know, I know. Believe me I was mad at him for making me his side chick. We already broke up before especially when he got caught."

"But still you're with him, right?"

"Yes. And actually it's one of the reasons why I suddenly left Korea and come back home. He's back with her again. Jongdae hyung saw them at the mall going to the theater like sweet lovers do."

"I'm so sorry for that. Aigoo my baby brother.."

"It's okay. Now that I'm here and I was able to play with all of you, I somehow get to forget about it."

"You really love Taemin, huh?"

"I fucking love him that I'm losing my mind too."

"Don't. Don't compensate your mind just because you want him. If you let your heart take over your mind, you'd also lose yourself. I don't know, it may be true that there are many fishes in the sea but then you don't eat fish. You should also try to not limit yourself to him especially if he's still with the girl. It's very unfair for you to be down loyal to him while he's not even faithful to you. Go out and have fun. You're still young and who knows, you might get to meet someone who would love you as much as you love them."

"Maybe what I really need is someone that would save me from Taemin."

"Yeah, I think so. But let me ask you, how long would you settle to be his side chick?"

"I don't know. Maybe until I get too tired?"

"Aigoo. My baby brother is really in love. I was like that before but maybe that's also what happened to me. Maybe I got tired of it that's why I packed my bags and left. I just wish you good luck on your love life and hopefully, you'd get to be loved because you deserve it so much.."

"Thanks. I wish that you'll find someone that would love you and Rahee as well."

 

Aftet a month stay with his siblings in Japan, Jongin found himself walking out of Gimpo airport towards Jongdae.

"Woah. Ya, Kobe wagyu really does wonders, huh? You look great! You look definitely healthier than before."

"Thanks to your cousins who have stuffed me all the good food in Japan. Ah, here's something for you. From Seolhyun, Ahyoung nuna, Heechul hyung and his husband Choi Siwon."

"Choi Siwon?"

"Yup. That ex."

"Your ex Choi Siwon? He married Heechul hyung?"

"Yup."

"Woah. That was unexpected haha. But you're okay with it?"

"Of course! Why not? It's already been 10 years since we called it quits."

"Oh really? Haha."

"Yes. And ah, Siwon hyung wanted me to send you this too." Jongin showed Jongdae his picture with Siwon when they went out to eat.

"I know. I already saw that. Heechul hyung sent it to me. I was just messing with you."

"I knew it. Ah jinjja hahaha."

 

After his lunch get together with Jongdae, he went to get some cake to stock and eat at home before he drove to his unit. Half of him wants Taemin to be there while the other half wishes that the unit is empty so he could just sulk and eat his cakes alone. When he opened his door, the answer was revealed with a familiar voice calling his name.

"Jonginnie!! Where have you been?!" Taemin didn't waste any time and hugged Jongin who got 2 boxes of whole cakes while dragging his luggage inside.

"Oh. You're here."

"You've got a luggage? Where have you been? Gosh I have been waiting for you here for almost a month now. I kept on calling you but you're not answering. I've sent lots of messages but never got any reply. Where have you been?"

"Ah. I went back home."

"Back home meaning in Chiba?"

"Yup. I went to visit my sisters and their babies."

"Ahyoung nuna and Seolhyun have babies now? Woah. That's nice. I hope you were able to enjoy your time with them. But why didn't you tell me that you're going there? I should've went with you if my leave would get approved. Or I could've drove you to the airport. I was so worried that I thought you left me, that you'll never come back."

"No need to worry. I'm back. Ah joahtda. I miss my bed so much. I'm too tired." Indeed, he was too tired to answer Taemin's questions but if he would answer it today, he would just start a fight so he controlled himself.

"Have you eaten lunch?"

"Um. Got samgyetang with Jongdae hyung."

"I miss eating samgyetang with you. Would you like to have it for dinner?"

"Anio. You don't need to cook for me. I can chomp down the cakes I bought. I'm in dire need of sugar lately."

"Wae?"

"PMS."

"Oh alright. I kind of forgot that hehe. I miss you, love." He clearly heard what Taemin said but he just pretended that he's asleep until he dozed off for real.

 

The following morning, Jongin found himself being hugged by Taemin as the big spoon. He went out of Taemin's hug and the older got awakened as well, following him with his eyes as he went to the bathroom.

"Good morning love. I love you." Taemin sweetly greeted his boyfriend that is torn between acting cold and giving in to Taemin's antics.

"Morning. Ah I still want to sleep. Too tired." Jongin mumbled as he buried his face on his pillow.

"Oh so it's already 10am. You've got to wake up."

"Don't have work in 3 days. I still have time to rest."

"Love, are you okay? Where's my 'I love you too'?" Taemin pouted as he tried to play with Jongin.

"I'm fine. PMS is no joke."

"Aw. Sorry. But I really miss you so let me hug you." Taemin hugged him but kissed him as well.

"Andwae. Haven't brushed my teeth."

"Why so sensitive? Both of us haven't brushed our teeth yet and we have morning breath. I don't mind kissing you." In the end, he gave in to Taemin's kisses.

"Love, can we?"

"PMS."

"Give me yours then."

"Won't get hard with PMS."

"Jinjja? So it's abstinence for me? It's been so long, I forgot when was the last time we had sex."

"It's fine. I want to practice abstinence too."

"Why? What made you want to practice abstinence?"

"Want to know the truth?"

"Yes. Tell me."

"I might ruin your day but since you want to know about it.. You made me want to practice abstinence."

"May I know why? Did I do something wrong?"

"Come on Lee Taemin, don't act like you're innocent and you didn't do anything wrong. Sorry to say but I have eyes scattered around. You're back with her, right? The main reason why you went back to your old place- because she's back. It's also the same reason why you only went here and not live here when she was away. I was even surprised to see you here yesterday when I've already expected that you'll be going out on dates with your girlfriend."

"But you know that I love you."

"Yeah. You love me. Yeah right but lately I can't feel you anymore. Sometimes, I ask myself if I still have a boyfriend and why am I not going out to have fun when you're out to play with fire with someone else."

"Jonginnie, listen here. I only have sex with you. I don't fuck her. It's not what you think. I only take her out so she won't do anything."

"Things like what?"

"I've seen her phone and she have our pictures. I take her out since she threatens me that she would upload all of it in social media. I don't want you, us to be hated and judged. Just let me take her out. I promise you, that's the only thing I'll do with her."

"You think I'd believe you easily? Ahh jinjja."

"You're saying that now. By any chance, is it because you don't love me anymore? Are you sick and tired of me that you'll break up with me?"

"Ah jinjja seriously Lee Taemin. Let's talk later. My head is spinning."

"Are you not feeling well?" Taemin checked Jongin's forehead and it's hot for a normal body temperature.

"Aigoo you're sick. I'm so sorry. Don't worry, I'll take care of you. Rest there first. Uhm, you have to eat something before you take the flu medicine. Would you like the cake?"

"That would do. Thanks." Taemin obliged and got him a slice of Strawberry Cheesecake.

"Thank you. You could cook something for your lunch. Go away from me, I don't want you to get sick as well. I'll sleep again." The drowsiness from taking the medicine have kicked in until he woke up with Taemin hugging him, just like the scene this morning.

"How are you feeling now?"

"Better than this morning. Sorry if I woke you up."

"It's okay. I like hugging you when we're sleeping. I also like taking care of you. I guess Nurse Taemin did a great job for taking care of cutie Jongin."

"Thank you for taking care of me."

"No worries. You're my love, of course I will do anything to heal you. Unless you want to break up with me."

"Sorry if I somehow ruined your day with what I've said this morning."

"Ania, it's fine. Besides, I am also sorry for not telling you about it because I know you'll get hurt. Sorry if you have to find out from someone else. I was supposed to tell you about that but I didn't have the courage and I don't know how I would tell you about it without you wanting to start a war."

"Well I am still mad but since I am sick, I have to take all of those negative things out of me. You aren't forgiven yet, you have to do something for me in return."

"Okay. I'll make it up to you once you're well so get well soon. I love you so much, Kim Jongin and I am happy with you. I was never this happy with anybody else. As long as we love each other and we are happy together, I won't break up with you. I never wanted to face that horrible separation again so I was really worried that you'll leave me when I came home everyday to an empty unit."

"You were here everyday?"

"Yep. I went to work from here and come home after work. Please please please, Jonginnie, promise me you'd never leave me again without any word."

 

Again, Jongin was swept with Taemin's sweet words. Taemin explained that he really can't get off Naeun since she is her sister in law, since her sister and his brother are married. Technically, they are family and there isn't any way that they'd be apart especially on reunions, just like the scenario that Jongin is angry about lately. Taemin went to Jeju island with his family, including Naeun and they took lots of pictures together. Some are sweet but some are worse since it was taken by Taemin himself- as if he's very proud that he's with Naeun and showing those pictures to the world by uploading it on the damned facebook accounts. Apparently Jongin was so jealous since he never went out with Taemin, excluding their lunch or dinner dates. Taemin never took him to a proper date be it on amusement parks or resorts. They never even get to swim together while Taemin went to swim at Incheon beach with that girl.

"Aigoo I told you to not look at those photos. It'll just hurt your feelings."

"You know that it would hurt my feelings yet you do it over and over again. Well thank you for that."

"That's only a picture Jongin. We're not doing anything wrong. It wasn't a homemade video of us fucking nor a photo while we're having sex because I do not fuck her. Okay? I do not fuck her. Because I do not want to get sick."

"So she really has a disease?"

"I just found out that it's real."

"So what would you do now? Grant all her wishes as if she's on her deathbed? Like you're her genie or her fairy godmother? Would it be like that?"

"If that's the only way I could help her, I'll do it."

"How about me? How about my feelings? Everytime you do not go to work and go somewhere with her, you're stabbing me. Everytime you take selcas with her, you're shooting a bullet to my heart. So you really enjoy killing me, huh? Nice."

"Jongin, please stop it."

"Stop? You want me to stop because I can't stop you? Oh. Okay, I got it. Go ahead, go wherever you want to go, take her with you and do everything that you fucking want. I won't care so I could save myself from getting killed intentionally by you. I won't try to stop you anymore. In return, I would go wherever I want to go, take anyone I want except you and do everything I want without limits. I expect you to not care so don't go around and tell me to stop or not do something. I won't complain with your escapades, so don't ever go around to complain when I would go out on my own with the people I want to hang out with. That's final."

"Jjamkkan! I never agreed with you."

"I never asked for your permission. I just informed you of what will happen in the future. You started it, and I don't want to be too late for that. I'll start mine soon."

"Jebal. Please, Jonginnie."

"There's no way back, Taemin. If you'll go out to play, I would definitely play along. You should've told me that you want to play but don't worry, it's not too late. You'll see how I am the master of this game."

 

Just in time before his birthday, Jongin received a gift from Siwon and Heechul. They insisted to treat Jongin with a trip, also as a compensation since his older brother and his ex got married. He declined but knowing Heechul's personality, he would really get mad if Jongin won't obey him. Besides, they also got that for Jongin in case he wants to get away and escape from Taemin.

 _"Do not call or send a message. I'll inform you when I get back."_ Jongin coldly sent a message to Taemin who's at work just before the plane took off. After another 3 hours of flight, he strolled inside the modern and busy HKIA. Jongin decided to go to Hongkong for a change, to eat Chinese food and see the beautiful skycrapers and night lights while trying to be strong because of the heartbreak caused by Taemin, not knowing that he would be surprised and greeted by someone he knew more than a friend as soon as he disembark the plane.

 

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Yey long update to thank everyone who subscribe, upvote and comment on this story. Thank you so much!! I am glad that you still read my works even if it's lame and trashy huhu. Anyways thanks for still anticipating for the next update.

For added fun(?), I introduced more characters so it won't only be Taemin, Jongin and Jongdae _(Yixing, Soojung and Sooyeon would appear soon don't worry hehe they're on the way)_

Let me introduce the _(fictional) Japanese-Korean_  

**KIM FAMILY : :**

Kim Heechul - Keiji _(from his English name Casey)_

__

Kim Ahyoung - Yura _(her stage name for Girl's Day)_

Kim Seolhyun - Ari _(from her angel name Seolhyunari)_

 

Choi Siwon, Heechul's love/husband/Jongin's ex when he was only 15 years old.

How would Taemin and Jongin's relationship turn out? Would it get fixed or will it go down the drain?

 

Got a perfect presentation of Jongin's relationship history that wouldd be elaborated on the next chapters soon :)


	8. The One That Got Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS DRAMA/ACTION/SUSPENSE/OBSCENE PART 1 HEHE
> 
> I tried my best.. please bear with me hehehehe
> 
> 얼마나 많은 아픔과, 얼마나 많은 고통과, 얼마나 많은 눈물이 그대를 견뎌냈을까?  
> How much more pain, how much more suffering, how much more tears will you endure?

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Going to a different country for the first time not knowing the whereabouts and the language is really a very brave thing to do, and Jongin went up for the challenge as he is seeking for a big distraction. Jongin went out of the immigration and was fascinated by the English-Mandarin centered country. It was indeed very busy and very popular especially to tourists and first timers, including him. He saw the information center that boasted the sign "Welcome to Hong Kong" and he smiled.

"Ah joahtda. Kim Jongin, just think of this as if you're beginning a new life even if you'll just be away from Seoul for 2 weeks." Jongin has planned to enjoy Hong Kong for a week and then the other week in Macau. The only thing that he needs to do is to get out of the airport and go to where he would stay. Good thing he has a tour guide with him, his other cousin Kim Wonsik that is studying for his masters at a university in Hong Kong.

 

"Wow, finally you've arrived. Welcome to Hong Kong, Kkamjjong."

"Siksikyey, it's been a while!! You still like to study? Really?"

"I need that so I could build my own studio. And of course, I would get Jongdae hyung as the resident professor."

"Well it's good that you're pursuing the things you want in life. As much as I love to cook, I still think there's something missing in my life. Ah. I'm hungry. Take me out on a lunch date please?"

"Haha okay. Kaja."

 

Lunch between the same-age cousins were awesome especially now that Jongin have expressed his problem with Taemin, the very reason why he suddenly scheduled a trip overseas.

"I never thought that you'd give Taemin a chance when you were with Yixing hyung before. Woah. I'm quite surprised but I somehow expected it. It's complicated and contradicting.."

"But then my love life is like that."

"So you flew here just to whine and be distracted from it? You won't fix it?"

"He was the one who doesn't want to fix it. I told him to let me go if he doesn't love me."

"And yet you were still with him. You know the answer to your questions, Jongin. You know what to do, you just don't want to do it."

"You think so?"

"Taemin is the root of all your heartaches. Without Taemin, you'll be okay. You won't be in pain anymore."

"Aigoo seems like you haven't experienced love in your life. Tsktsk."

"I already did, and it was worse. I became a rebound and it's not quite different from your situation. Both of our experiences have a base problem. The ex."

"Yeah. The ex. The ex that we hate because they can't move on with their lives."

"You're being an ex too. You can't move on without him. Let's put it this way: once you've got the opportunity, get out of that relationship. Do everything to save yourself before you become too heartless and soulless to be called a ghost."

"Ah jinjja I really don't know. Anyways while I'm still here, I want to be really distracted. Can you help me?"

"Sure. Now that I've known your struggles, I could help you now. Kaja, I'll take you around Hong Kong."

 

The alleys in Hongkong were busy even if it's already night time. The different colors of the establishments and ads were art, until he saw advertisements with seemingly identical endorser.

"Oh? Fanfan?" It was a poster of a musician named Kris. Jongin knows that guy very well, born Li Jiaheng or Wu Yifan, as that man was his first love and his _'the one that got away'_.

"You're saying something?"

"Ahm. Do you know this guy?"

"Yes. Everyone in China knows him. Aside from his face scattered on lots of advertisements because of his model features, he is also a rapper and musician."

"Oh. I'm a bit flustered because seeing his face around made me think that he's the only one famous here. Haha."

"How about you, do you know him?"

"Honestly? Yes. That man is my first love."

"Ah yes I remember! He studied in Korea before he went back to Canada then pursued his career in China. So he was your first love. You're lucky, you got a famous first love."

"Not that lucky though, he just left me hanging without a single word."

"Oh. That's a bit.. I'm sorry."

"Ania it's fine and it's been 6 years. I should be fine by now especially with. Argh fuck this life."

"You're distracted from Taemin yet you are also hurting from Yifan. So you're really a man who falls in love easily, huh?"

"Yes. A self-confessed geumbang sarange ppajineun namja. A man who falls in love easily. Ah, I should have a change of heart. I can't still be like this at my age."

 

Duty-free malls

MTR

Bus stop

Shopping mall

Foodcourt

Bank

Jongin continued to tour around with his cousin while taking note of what he sees: he have seen Yifan's ad at the subway for a phone company, at the bus stop for a famous headphone label, by the shopping mall's outdoor LED display, at the food court endorsing his favorite chicken nuggets from a fast food chain, enticing mallgoers to watch a movie with a theater ad and promoting international credit and debit transactions for a bank.

"Woah. Yifan really is everywhere. He must've made it really big here. He is sure wealthy after getting all those endorsement fees. Woah."

"But then who knows, he might still be the Yifan that you know."

"That's impossible haha. That person made me fall for him only to leave me hanging with high hopes. He threw away the friendship, the bond and all the memories we've shared without a single word."

"He must've had a reason why he did that."

"He should have a valid reason for that because if you're a person who values friendship, you would never do that. Thanks to him, I got to experience deception and betrayal."

"You're saying that 6 years have passed yet you're still bitter about it. Are you still mad at him for leaving you?"

"It's just.. it's like an unfinished business. There was no closure for us."

"Would you still want to know the reason why he left?" But then Jongin wasn't able to answer Wonsik.

"What if, by any chance, you'd get to meet him again. What will you do?" Jongin just looked at him before he shove his hair away from his face.

"I don't know. Ah molla."

"Think about it. Maybe before you go back to Korea, I could help you with that."

"Wae? What are you thinking?"

"Yifan is also doing his masters in my university. Let's say that we are 'close'."

"Fuck you Kim Wonsik, don't make me believe with your lies."

"Okay. If you won't believe me then don't. You'll just live forever wondering the 'what ifs' and 'what could have beens' from your almost love."

"You're really not joking?"

"Well would you like me to set the two of you up? I can do that, at least on his free time. I'd ask him, jjamkkan."

"I was just joking! Ya you don't need to do that."

"You need healing, Jongin. You also deserve to have his explanation and closure. For now, go to sleep since we still have a full day to be a tourist tomorrow. Jalja."

"Jalja."

 

The next day, Jongin found himself in front of a huge poster by the bus stop. He can't read Chinese characters so his cousin guide read it for him.

"it's a busking event today at 5pm. We could go, it's a free event. He would be performing some songs like how we do on recitals."

"But then the last time I saw him was September 2013, before he disappeared."

"You could also watch him from afar. Maybe that won't hurt."

"Alright. I don't even think that he would look at me. You know what? It's been funny lately. I went home in Chiba and look who I met there? I met Siwon hyung."

"Oh Siwon hyung? Your ex?"

"Yes, Siwon hyung my ex and also Yifan's senior."

"Don't tell me you started sulking in Chiba."

"Ania. I was happy when I met him there. He got married with Heechul hyung."

"Jinjja? Heechul hyung? Woah. That's so surprising. But you didn't really sulked when your ex chose to marry your brother?"

"No. The last time that I saw him was 2010 and my feelings for him have already died. Plus, it was replaced by my feelings for Yifan. But then he left me too."

"By any chance, are you over with Siwon hyung but not yet over with Yifan ge?"

"We never had any closure so maybe it still hurts a little."

"Aigoo eotteokhae? Old flames are coming back one by one. Wow, my cousin is really something."

"Ania don't say that."

"Just remember, at least once in their lives, those men fell for you so you're indeed something."

"Okay, let's say that they did fell for me but none of them stayed. Maybe they got bored. Maybe I am really a boring person. I'm difficult to be with."

"Ania don't be so negative. Well anyways, let's just go and watch him for the busking event. That would be a great help since he's still studying for his masteral degree. Support him after all the things you've been through even though he disappeared as if he never knew you."

Jongin being very obedient, have watched Yifan or musician Kris' busking event. He have played different instruments, sang songs and also rapped. He's still the talented musician that Jongin knows, the one he fell in love with when he was in 7th grade. He was too young and they have a 4-year age gap but everything turned upside down when they met again 4 years after Yifan graduated. Year 2012 when they went out unofficially but Jongin was too shy to express his feelings while Yifan took everything slow. They have 'something' for more than a year until Yifan kissed Jongin. After the kiss, Yifan turned away as if it never happened and he never knew Jongin, until he totally went out of his life as if there was no friendship established and their memories together were mere illusions. After 6 years, that guy is in front of Jongin now. It's a perfect timing; maybe something is destined to happen. It could be their closure or something else but Jongin believed that he wouldn't meet him again after 6 years without a reason.

The busking slash street recital at the Salisbury Garden have ended and everybody gave a round of applause. Some went to get Yifan, or Kris' sign commemorating the event. People also took pictures with the famous musician brand endorser and Jongin smiled because even after all that happened, that guy still have a place in his heart. He is proud of him but he stopped himself and turned away as the reality hit him that Yifan threw everything away - memories, friendship, trust, love, hope and Jongin. Yifan never cared if he would get hurt because all he cared for was himself, saying that _'no one owes someone an explanation'_.

He didn't realize that Wonsik wasn't on his side anymore so he walked away from the venue but he heard his name being called by someone and felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Kim Jongin. Kai. Jonginnie. Hi." Jongin was in severe shock because _'the one that got away'_ , the one who left him without a word and the one whom he never got to have a closure with, is now talking to him.

"Uh. Hello."

"It's been a while. It's me, Yifan. How are you?"

 _"It's been a while since you left without a word.."_ Jongin wanted to say that but he was in loss for words.

"Are you okay?"

"Ah. Yeah I'm okay. Yeah it's been a very long time since we saw each other. I was startled because I can't find my cousin and it's my first time in this country. I don't want to get lost. By the way, nice set."

"Ah yeah. Thanks." Just like Jongin, Yifan seemed to be a little shaky but he tried his best to compose himself so he could talk normally to the person he did wrong to.

"Oh. Seems like your crew would be leaving. You might want to go. You might get left behind."

"Ah no, it's okay. I told them to go ahead since I would meet someone. So you're Wonsik's cousin. Small world.."

"Ah yeah. Maybe when he gets back, the two of you could talk as well."

"I already met him and I'm glad that he paved way for us to meet again, after 6 years."

"So you.. you want to meet me?"

"I'm actually cautious because I did you wrong and you're probably mad at me but since this is a chance, maybe I could talk to you. If you'd like to and if you'd allow me to."

"Sorry, I'm nervous. This is the first time I saw you after what happened. I don't know what to say."

"It's okay, I understand that you may feel indifferent towards me but as much as I want to, I want to tell you the reason why. I know that you're not in peace and you must've got really hurt back then."

"Uhm, would it be okay of we talk somewhere else? It's a bit open here. You know, you're famous and someone might just go and ask to take a photo with you."

"Alright. I'll take you somewhere near then."

 

After a few minutes walk, they arrived at a darker and quiet park. A perfect place for them to talk without any interruption.

"May I know where we are now? I have to tell Wonsik so he could find us."

"We're here at Kowloon Park."

"Oh. Kowloon Park. Alright. Where did the punk go? Aigoo."

"Jongin?"

"Um?"

"I know I do not deserve this but can I hug you? Just a quick and light hug."

"Oh. Okay." Without hesitation, Yifan hugged Jongin.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I was too afraid back then. I was a coward, so I left." Yifan tried to break the hug but Jongin tapped his back.

"Go on, continue."

"I didn't know what to do. I was falling for you so hard and my mind was leaning onto you so much that I can't concentrate on my studies, on my world, everything. I tried to act cool and I only got courage to get away from you even if it means hurting you. I was a big coward, I couldn't face you because of what I did. My pride ate me down too. I can't believe I did that to you when you didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry, I hope you'd forgive me someday." Jongin tried to blink away the tears but since he is a certified crybaby, he wasn't able to hold it back.

"Thank you. Thank you for that. It took me 6 years to hear that from you and I am happy that I was able to finally hear it.. Since that day, I tried hard to ask everyone about it, including myself. _'Did I do something wrong? Why did you turn away? Did you got bored with me? Do you like somebody else? Did you even think of my feelings? How about our memories, would you just throw it all away?'_ I've been devastated for something I was uncertain of. I was just about to open up my feelings for you, especially that night you kissed me. I could've told you that you were my first love and I like you, hoping that you like me more than just a friend. Indeed, I got my hopes too high that I crashed down when you left. I kept asking your bestfriend Luhan if he could tell me the answers to my questions until I got tired. But for almost 1 year, I still hope that you'd come back to tell me that you're wrong and ask me to take you again. I realized that I didn't get tired, instead I grew numb until I was able to move on one day as I told myself that I have to let you go and I have to live without you like you were only a mere memory."

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I thought finally that you deserve to hear my explanation so here I am. I know that this is lame, absurd and pathetic but I turned away from you to choose my career. I do not want to be a failure so I tried my best to be successful and earn a lot of money, even if it means compromising my friendship and memories with you. But while I was pursuing my dream, I still thought of you and how much you must've been hurting with what I've done. Actually, Luhan told me about it."

"Granted that you are best friends, I know it would eventually come to your knowledge."

"And I told him to tell you that I was just busy. I was a very cold hearted man back then and there's no way that you won't hate me. Since I know that'll happen, I just went with it and concentrated on my craft. Even though you still pop out of my mind sometimes, I shook every thought of you so I won't feel guilty. But there are times that I wanted to kiss you again and tell you to run away with me, especially when you followed me on that recital night at the museum. But I still continued to be a jerk until you went to Zitao and told him about it. I also saw you crying that I punched the wooden wall out of frustration. I still have the scars on my fingers." Yifan broke the hug to make Jongin see the scars on his fingers.

"It's okay, I'm not mad anymore. Maybe this is what I just needed - closure. Knowing the reason why you did that because I almost went crazy asking why it happened. I thank you for finally telling me and I forgive you too. Well, I have unofficially forgiven you when I woke up one day and decided to move on. I've unconciously forgiven you as well whenever I hear your name during those times."

"I'm sorry and thank you, Jongin. Sorry because you've met the worst Yifan."

"I haven't met the worst Yifan. Maybe it's just the same you, but it's not our ideal time as we have different priorities. It's okay, maybe I also figured out the reason why I cried during the holiday concert where we saw each other. You performed at the stage and when you went down, I went to see you. I could still remember your smile, how you looked so happy and surprised because you saw me again after 3 or 4 years I think? But after your set, another band played Katy Perry's _'The One That Got Away'_. I was with my friends when I suddenly burst out crying. I had a mental breakdown and cried my eyes out as if I'll never see you again. Who would've thought that I've already envisioned our end since the beginning?" Jongin smiled bitterly as he remember their memories together.

"It's a pity that your first love and _'the one that got away'_ is a big coward and a fucking jerk. I only gave you painful memories."

"But I was happy during our unofficial relationship. Well at least, it's a relationship in my perspective. I mean, I do not go and stay up until 4am just to talk to you when I have a class at 10am if you're just a friend. Plus, you were in Beijing back then and we would go and chat like lovers in long distance relationships. Deep inside my heart, I am committed to you even if we didn't have labels."

"Well maybe it's also time for me to tell you my genuine yet cold heart. Back then, I was in love with you. Madly in love to the point that I could give up my career and take you away. I wanted to run away with you and start a simple life but I realize we can't live like that, we have to work hard and earn a lot so we could survive in this cruel world."

"Very cruel indeed. Thank you, for telling me your feelings as well. Sadly, both of us were in love but timing is a bitch so it went down the drain."

"Have you ever thought that two people who love each get to have a second try?"

"It may or may not happen. Wae? Omo, ya don't joke around like that."

"We used to love each other but I know it won't happen. The wounds I gave you are too deep and as much as I love you before, I am certain that it's not the same way anymore so I want to go back to the beginning, if you'd allow me."

"What?"

"Can we be friends? Only friends."

"Ah. Friends? Okay. What's your name?"

"Li Jiaheng or Wu Yifan. But I'm popular as Kris."

"Ah yes I've seen your face everywhere! Woah. Sure, it's an honor to be friends with someone so famous. And of course not to be rude, my name is Kim Jongin. You can call me Kai."

"Kris and Kai. Sounds good. So how are you? Long time no see."

"Yeah haha I have been good. I became a chef then also ventured onto management until I became a director of a restaurant. But lately I am working at a strawberry dessert shop as an artisan cake decorator and a graphic artist. How about you, aside from being a musician and a top brand endorser?"

"A chicken mania. Since the day that you made me eat fried chicken, I wasn't able to get away with it. Back then, I would remember you when I see or eat fried chicken so I tried hard not to eat one. And if I eat one, I would tear up."

"Seriously? Haha. Good to know that I've haunted you in the most absurd way."

"You have a boyfriend now?" Just when Jongin is happy now that he's friends with Yifan again, he was reverted back to reality.

"Uhm, not quite sure.."

"Ya don't tell me you have a thing for unofficial relationships?! You should've already learned from what happened to us!"

"Anio it's not really unofficial. But.. I'm the boyfriend while he has a girlfriend."

"What?! Oh my goodness. As in you're the side chick while he is in a relationship with a girl?!"

"He made me like that. He told me that he was single until I found out that he's with that girl. That is actually an ex that he got back with."

"Oh. Why.. sorry to say this but that guy is a jerk. You don't deserve him. You don't deserve to be set aside while also attending to another one. I mean.. you already got hurt so much in the past. You don't deserve to get hurt again.."

"Maybe I am a masochist. Maybe I learned that from you hehe kidding aside, that's how my relationship is nowadays."

"I'm really sorry that you're experiencing things like that. This is my fault. If I didn't leave you, you wouldn't be hurting."

"Ania it's okay. This is also my wish and prayers. Back then, I wished for you to love me back and I've confirmed that it happened. When I was hurting from you, I wished and prayed that my heart would heal and continue to bleed love. I also prayed for someone who would love me and stay with me. I've got what I wished for with Taemin. No matter how much it hurts me, I still bleed love for him. And he stays with me too, as much as he stays with his girlfriend." Jongin smiled bitterly again but a teardrop slipped out of his eye.

"Let me guess. That's the reason why you're here alone? Because he's with her?"

"Bingo."

"What a fucking jerk. I know that I am no saint because I have sinned so much but as much as you don't deserve him, he doesn't deserve you. You're only his doormat, his slave, his toy! You know what those kind of guys choose in the end. They'd still end up with a girl."

"Like Yixing."

"Like what?! Zhang Yixing? Were you with him too?"

"Yup. I was with him for 2 years I think? Then he got a girl pregnant. Now he has a family, even married the baby boy's mom."

"Oh. Sorry. But see? You've experienced that beforehand and actually, what he's doing to you is worse than what Yixing and I did because until now, he's still choosing to hurt two people just to feel good."

"You're too harsh, my friend."

"I'm sorry my friend but I am just telling you the truth. Maybe you're also waiting for someone to tell that to you and here I am. I'm making you see how everything is wrong being with a guy that has a girlfriend."

"Maybe this is what I came for. Hahaha. I'll think about it. It's getting late and you just got off from your recital. Your voice needs to rest."

"You could go to my place anytime. I'll fetch you so it'd be convenient."

"Maybe the day after tomorrow? I want both of us to rest tomorrow hehe. And I have to still slap the fuck off Wonsik. Where did he go?"

"Let him go around looking for us. May I know where you stay?"

"At Wonsik's place."

"Oh okay. My unit is just a few blocks away from his place. You could really go there anytime next week. I still have a few classes in the next five days but I go home immediately after school."

"So you don't have schedule next week?"

"All free. Wae?"

"I'll be going to Macau next week though. That's sad."

"If you want, I could go with you. I could tour you around. You're even brave to come here without knowing the language. And I could be your translator slash interpreter."

"Yeah sure! That would be good."

"I'll give you good memories from now on, Jongin ah. I haven't told you yet, but I miss you."

"I miss you too."

 

Jongin and Yifan agreed to rebuild their friendship and after 3 days since that closure, Yifan joined Jongin to Hong Kong Disneyland. They stayed and enjoyed the rides for 2 days until it's time for them to go to Macau.

"Woah who would've thought that Kkamjjong went here to get a closure. And now, you'll also get to have a trip to Macau with the top brand endorser of China! Woah woah woah. If Taemin knew, he would've died of envy and jealousy."

"As if. I should've known that he's enjoying his time with his girlfriend without my interruption and disturbance."

"Aigoo here we are again. Anyways, go ahead or you'll miss your flight! Enjoy! And visit me some other time again but I want you to be happy okay? I don't want you to come here just because you are lonely."

"Sure thing. I'll miss you too, Siksikyey. When I come back, I'll be happier. Ya go back to Seoul during your breaks too!"

"I'll try because I also do gigs on breaks to earn some money for the construction of my studio. But don't worry, we'll see each other again. Enjoy your trip with Yifan hyung!!"

 

Jongin found himself at the plane's first class seats when he was supposed to have an economy seating. When the ground cabin crew found out that he is with Wu Yifan, his seats were upgraded for free.

"Woah, I just got slapped with China's top brand endorser's power."

"Ania. It's a complimentary seat since my legs won't fit the economy space."

"Wow. Sorry."

"But really, I want you to be comfortable as well. Even if it's not 3 hours long, I want you to enjoy being with me."

"Woah there. It's not like we're on a honeymoon."

"Are you friendzoning me as soon as now? After I got you here?"

"I'm just joking hehe. Anyways just take a nap, mr. Famous. I'll also take a nap."

"Jumuseyo."

 

Macau International Airport were shaken with the news of Yifan's arrival. He looked like a model on the runway as he went out of the plane and off to the immigration. People were took pictures of him as he waited for his dear friend Jongin.

"Woah. You're really.. woah."

"So wear your masks. They would take pictures of me and I don't want your privacy to be invaded. And I hope we'd be able to enjoy Macau like normal people."

 

Yifan insisted to make use of his 'power over China' so they also got an upgrade for their lodging. Jongin initially have a reservation at Sheraton but since he is with Kris Wu Yifan, they got an upgrade to stay on Conrad Hilton's Presidential Suite.

"Aish I know that you are powerful but this is too much." Jongin had been bickering with Yifan while they were on their way up to the 37th floor with the private elevator.

"Let's say that this is one of the ways I make up to you." He smiled as he flopped down the circular couch and closed his eyes while Jongin was in awe as he checked the whole room's interior.

"Eotteokhae? It would really cost a fortune to stay in this room even for a night. Yet I am here.. You have to wake up, Kim Jongin."

"This is actually what you've paid for."

"I only paid for a King Deluxe room yet I got a fucking Presidential Suite. What kind of sorcery is this?"

"But you do have a king bed. I also have mine. Besides, this is the only two-bed room available."

"This is really unbelievable."

"Stop daydreaming, this is reality so come here and just leave your luggages there. We have the whole week to spend here so you could check things out later on." Jongin finally gave up and sat beside Yifan.

 

That day, Jongin requested to go to Macau Tower. Jongin looked a bit scared but Yifan is more scared than him so they had lots of laughs during the skywalk.

 _"Taemin would like this kind of extreme activities. He might've bug me to do a bungee jump with him. I wish he was here with me."_ Jongin thought but all that he can do is sigh.

"Is there anything wrong?"

"Not really. I just thought about Taemin. Sorry."

"No need to be sorry. I mean, you love that person and you are away with him. It's normal for you to miss him. You must've thought that it'd be better if he's with you now."

"Did those fortune of yours made you a mind reader? Woah."

"I am older than the two of you so I have more experiences and lessons learned. But that's what you thought, right?"

"Yes. Sorry. He just love extreme activities so much."

"Is that the reason why you wanted to go here?"

"It's one of the reasons but I really want to watch the sunset here."

"Oh. You're so romantic. Still the Jongin that I know hehe. I thought you changed and wanted to bungee jump instead."

"I still don't have enough courage to do that. Skywalk was even hard for me."

"I'm just kidding. Anyways let's enjoy the sunset here and I hope as the twilight arrives, your thoughts would get better. You'll see later on."

 

Jongin denied Yifan's power for their dinner at the Macau Tower 360° Cafe. They got a buffet dinner and munched on the lobsters, shrimps, clams, abalone, scallops, salads, noodle soups, duck, chicken and steak among others and of course, the gourmet chef foodie got so happy.

"Now you're happy. I know what to do when you're sad. Hahaha."

"You know that I am a sucker for western cuisine. Ah, this is so good." But deep inside, Jongin wished that Taemin is with him, eating the good food and making memories not just as a fellow gourmet chef and foodie but as a couple on a date.

They went to the Lotus Square and took lots of pictures. Also to the Wine Museum and tasted lots of different wines around the world, to the Gran Prix Museum to also try kart racing then watched Tree of Prosperity and the Dragon of Fortune shows inside Wynn Palace. They went to watch the famous dancing fountain and Jongin looked happy and quite relieved. They also went on full tourist mode away from luxury as they shopped at Senado Square. They also went to Sofitel Ponte 16 to see the Michael Jackson Gallery by the beach.

"Hyung annyeong!!" Jongin waved at his phone as he got a video call from Jongdae.

"Woah you look bloated! You must've eaten those seafoods. Aigoo."

"Of course but I took anti allergies before meals. This is actually the less bloated face. Since my first day here, I already chomped on lobsters but the dinner we had a while ago are mostly dimsum and hotpot."

"You're saying 'we'? Where is Wonsik?"

"Ah haha I forgot. I'll tell you who I am with. Jjajjaaan! Yifan hyung." Just in time after washing up, Yifan waved at Jongdae.

"Oh wow Yifan ge!! I miss you so much! I never thought that.. woah! Ya Kim Jongin you would definitely have to tell me everything ara? You look so good Fanfan ge."

"Thanks. I miss my favorite brother too. It's been so long."

"Yes it's been so long. So the two of you are together? I never thought that Jongin would meet you again in Hong Kong. Where's Wonsik?"

"He's in Hong Kong."

"Eh? Where are you now?"

"We're in Macau."

"Oh Macau. Jjamkkan. So you're at a hotel?"

"Yes and when I say hotel, this kind of room in a hotel." Jongin went to show Jongdae the interior and goodness of their suite.

"Ya Kim Jongin have you lost your mind? You're staying at a suite?"

"Correction hyung, it's a Presidential Suite. My room got upgraded."

"Upgraded?! One king deluxe room got upgraded to a Presidential suite?"

"Thanks to that guy, I am living in luxury here in Macau."

"How? As in Yifan?"

"I'll explain when I get back but all of these are possible thanks to Yifan hyung."

"This is nothing. Well you deserve this. Besides, this is what you've paid for."

"Yeah, what I've paid for and more."

Little did they know, they're already on their 5th day in Macau so they went all in to watch The Fortune Diamond Laser Show in Galaxy Macau (which is Yifan's favorite), went to Vquarium, the Bubble where the Dragon’s Treasure show is shown, and the House of Dancing Water (the largest water performance show in the world) at The City of Dreams. They also went on to watch Taboo at Club Cubic and partied afterwards.

"Jongin ah."

"Um?" Jongin and Yifan who drank some of the best cocktails at the club now went back to their hotel. Jongin has high alcohol tolerance but it has been so long since the last time he drank so he's already feeling tipsy, while Yifan who is a party animal most especially overseas, have drank a lot and is also tipsy. Jongin have a clearer mind so he helped Yifan as they went to their private elevator.

"Hyung, wash up first so you could go to sleep. I can still manage."

"Sure?"

"Yes." Yifan have washed himself while Jongin prepared the clothes he would change onto. He have been used to sleeping naked especially with Taemin but it's different this time, since he's with Yifan. Even if both of them have a different bed, he thinks that it's better to be guarded.

Yifan have finished taking a bath and went back to their shared room. He sat down to his bed and got his phone. Jongin absentmindedly forgot to take his shirt and boxers with him because he wanted to get away from Yifan too soon.

"I just have to be really careful. Ah jinjja." Jongin quickly took a bath so he could sleep but he realized that he only got his towel, and his clothes were by his bed.

"Fucking fuck why does this have to happen now? Both of us are intoxicated. One wrong move and everything would turn upside down." He still haven't fully trusted Yifan because 6 years ago when Yifan kissed him, they almost had sex at the couch if not for his Jongdae hyung's visit to Jongin's university dorm.

Jongin stayed at the bathroom for quite some time and hummed until he got sleepy.

"I've been here for about 15 minutes, he should be dressed or asleep by now.." Jongin wrapped the towel around his waist to slowly and quietly go to his bed, careful not to wake Yifan if he's already sleeping but when Jongin arrived at the room, Yifan isn't there.

"He must've went outside. Ah, that was close." But then the door swung open and revealed Yifan that looked erotic.

"Jongin ah.."

"Hyung?" Before he was able to look away from Yifan, he was already pinned down on his bed. Yifan kissed him passionately even if Jongin doesn't kiss back.

"Hyung jjamkkanman! This isn't right! Let's just go to sleep." He said as Yifan kissed him sloppily.

"Please? Only for this time? This is the only thing I ask from you. Promise." Little did Jongin realize, Yifan is naked until the towel that's covering his waist was taken off. Yifan spread his legs wide and kissed Jongin again.

"Hyung I have a boyfriend! Please don't! I can do anything for you but not this!"

"You only need to say yes while I am still gentle. Besides, I do not take no for an answer."

"Ah jebal please no.." Yifan groaned and tightened his grip with Jongin's body. This hyung is taller and have a bigger built than him, plus Yifan is an athlete so he wasn't able to fight especially when he pushed his lubed cock inside Jongin's ass. Jongin wasn't able to do anything but cry against the pillows and blanket as Yifan thrusted in and out of him.

"Jongin ah, you're so hot and very sexy. Woah. I know.. we've never.. but oh my.. you're really making me horny." Yifan got Jongin's wrists together and flipped him so he was lying on his stomach. Yifan slapped Jongin's flufy butt that left red marks on his cheeks as he penetrated his ass again. He embraced Jongin from behind, fucking him doggy style while he also reached down to take Jongin's cock on his hands. Soon enough the crying younger man is already moaning in pleasure as he is fucked while being milked down.

After series of hard and quick thrusts hitting his prostate, Jongin came onto Yifan's hand and his own bed. After harder thrusts, Yifan came inside Jongin.

"Thanks. I'm done. So tired. Goodnight." Yifan went to his bed as if nothing happened and got knocked out while Jongin was totally awakened as if he was washed down with ice water. He wiped his tears and checked himself - his ass leaking out Yifan's cum and his bed also stained with his own cum.

"I'm sorry Taemin. I'm so dirty." He hugged his legs and cried himself to sleep naked but covered only with his blanket.

 

Jongin was sure that Yifan acted like nothing happened before he got knocked out so he wasn't surprised when the topic of non-consentual sex didn't come up the following morning. It was really as if nothing happened but Jongin's sheets still have the dried stains of both their cum so Jongin is definitely not having hallucinations.

"Jongin ah, are you okay?" Yifan asked him with worry in his voice because Jongin was only staring at his breakfast.

"Huh? Ah. Yeah. Go ahead. I'll just get some coffee too." He distracted himself as he went to get an iced dark chocolate mocha latte. He also got some strawberries for the fondue and blueberry cheesecake for dessert even if he haven't started eating his Eggs Benedict yet.

"We'll go out to buy some souvenirs so get your legs done as we'll have to walk around. Don't worry, I'll feed you while we're walking."

"Ah yeah." It became awkward as Jongin clearly remembers what happened while he's not sure if Yifan is playing innocent or if he doesn't really remember anything.

They ate Jongin's favorite roast duck, pork chop buns and minced pork ball noodle soup for lunch. They got Nan Peng sandwich that comes with a thick yet fluffy omelet, generous amount of hams and pork char siew plus barbeque chicken skin, drumstick and wings for their afternoon snack.

 

They went to the highlight of Jongin's Macau trip, to go to The Grand Canal at The Venetian.

"Woah. This really have the vibe of the real one in Venice. Very nice, even if everything is artificial."

"Even if it's artificial, it's loved by lots of people." They took a photo of each other and leaned over the bridge with the gondolas passing underneath.

"It's romantic but also very cliché."

"Do you want to have a gondola ride?"

"No, I'm fine with just watching happy people. It makes me smile too."

"Oh arasseo. Uhm Jongin, I'll just go to the bathroom."

"Yeah sure go ahead. I don't have any plans to move away from here. The view is nice."

"Alright." A few minutes after Yifan left, Jongin saw a familiar side profile, too familiar because he have seen that countless of times especially when he is hugging that person. He thought that his eyes were mocking him but he started to get furious when he saw another familiar person, the person Jongin have always pictured on his mind to get away with, and sometimes, wanted to get rid off. It was Taemin and Naeun, riding a gondola on it's way going to the other side of the canal.

"What the fuck? Lee Taemin?! So Jeju island isn't the last stop. You even take her overseas? Oh wow. Okay." His hands and pupils were trembling in anger.

"Hey." Yifan arrived at the right time and Jongin hurriedly went near Taemin with Yifan following cluelessly. Jongin got his phone and recorded videos of Taemin and Naeun together, as close as he could.

"What's the fuss?"

"Nothing. I'm not feeling too well, I think I have to go back to the hotel." Jongin's eyes are dark with anger for the two people he saw. He was also flushed red as if he was so drunk he would vomit anytime, and his heart beats fast as if it's a ticking bomb going to explode very soon.

"Oh, you seemed to be a little hot." Yifan placed his hand on Jongin's forehead to check his temperature but was surprised when Jongin broke down in tears.

"Jongin ah! Why are you crying?" Yifan instinctively hugged Jongin and patted his back.

"I give up. I'm really tired of this."

"What? Please don't give up."

"They're here. Taemin and his girlfriend. I saw them."

"What?! Your boyfriend and his girlfriend are here?"

"Yes. There, that couple who is just about to get off the gondola. The man who looks like me, that's Taemin."

"Oh. I'm sorry for that but let me give him a lesson. Leave it to me."

"Jjamkkan hyung! Do not do anything scandalous! Do not hurt him!"

"What's their name again? Taemin and then the girl is?"

"Naeun. Son Naeun."

"Alright. Don't worry, I won't hurt them. Trust me." Jongin followed Yifan as he walked towards Taemin and Naeun.

"Omo! Oh my gosh it's been 6 years since the last time we saw each other!! I miss you so much!" Yifan hugged Taemin but the couple was dumbfounded with Yifan's acts.

"Excuse me, does Taemin oppa know you? Oppa, do you know him?"

"Anio." Taemin denied.

"Sorry sir but you must've mistaken my fiancé for the wrong person." Naeun told Yifan off while examining his face.

"Jinjjayo? You're not Kim Jongin?" Yifan started to play with the couple.

"Kim Jongin? Jonginnie.." Taemin's face brightened up with the mention of Jongin's name.

"No, he is not Kim Jongin! He is Lee Taemin!"

"Ah. I'm sorry, I thought he was you. So you are Lee Taemin. Ah!! Yes, Jongin's boyfriend that Jongdae told me. Woah, now that I am very close, I could really see the resemblance. That means you and Jongin are meant to be." Yifan teased Taemin again, making him curious on who this man is.

"Jjamkkan! How did you know-" Taemin started to get interested on what Yifan is saying.

"Oppa why are you curious about that bitch?! I thought the two of you are over?!" Naeun reverted her eyes back to Taemin after getting drunk on Yifan's handsome face.

"Oh? Since when did the two of you broke up? If what she's saying is true?"

"Uhm.. actually.." Taemin's voice started to shake. Jongin went closer to them so he could hear his "boyfriend's" answer.

"What?!?" Naeun asked impatiently.

"Since last year. When we broke up, we never get back together again." Taemin was firm with his answer that triggered Jongin.

"Are you sure, oppa?"

"Yes." Taemin answered without hesitation.

"Good boy." Naeun sighed as a sign of relief.

"Oh. So if you and Jongin already broke up, then we'll have to celebrate then." The Ad King of China called Jongin.

"Jongin? Nini?" He called with his speaker on.

"Yes?"

"Uhm. I saw somebody and thought it was you but it was somebody else. Are you somehow related?"

"Did you ask his name?" Jongin who is only a few feet away played along.

"What's your name again? Lee Taemin?"

"Yes he is Lee Taemin not Kim Devil." Naeun intercepted as if she is included with the talk.

"He says and the devil beside him says the name is Lee Taemin."

"Lee Taemin? I've never heard that name before." Jongin started his revenge.

"Can you try to recall? You might've just forgot it. I swear he looks like you. The two of you could pass as twins but since he is a Lee, he might really be your soul mate."

"Ah! I remember."

"What now?" Naeun wanted to hear Jongin's answer.

"The man that have lured me to his cave and told me he's single then one day I just found out that he's not. He's a one big liar, that Lee Taemin." Jongin blurted out one of their truths.

"I thought the two of you are together?"

"Together in mind, heart, soul and body. Oh really? He just told you that we broke up last year and we never got back again. You could just believe on that if you would accept the words of a liar. Anyways, just let him be, let him date with his fiancée. Let him marry her too and most of all, let her marry him. The two of us are too identical, she could live her life seeing my face in his face so I would haunt her until the end of time." The couple was shocked that Jongin knew what Taemin had said a while ago.

"Good point. Alright. Thanks Nini. Love you."

"Welcome, love you too, Fanfan." Yifan smirked at Taemin and Naeun then walked up to Jongin who was only a few feet away from them. Taemin saw Jongin give a cold stare as they went away from the dumbfounded couple.

□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□

Yey another update. Some background story on why Jongin is clinging onto his love for Taemin. He was hurt so much by Yifan and since then, have become addicted to pain.

By the way, Kim Wonsik is VIXX's Ravi and I just made up a nickname out of his real name. I made it Siksikyey just because, and it is derived from the Korean sweet rice drink called 'Sikhye'. I know it's lame but I want to be witty even if it didn't turn out well ehehe.

Anyways I must say that we are leaning towards the last few chapters of this story. Goodluck to my mind and good luck to all of you, readers as I would take you to a roller coaster ride of emotions with super bad boy Taemin and super masochistic Jongin. 

 

 


	9. The Aftermath

 

 

"I'm pretty sure you've heard everything he said."

"Yeah. Broke up last year and never got back together again. Plus they are fiancé and fiancée having a gondola ride at that damn canal. Very nice."

"What's your plan now?"

"I still don't know."

"Well I salute you for the things you've said, even though I know that its meant halfheartedly. _'just let him be, let him date with his fiancée. Let him marry her too and most of all, let her marry him. The two of us are too identical, she could live her life seeing my face in Taemin's face and it would haunt her until the end of time.'_ Well that's the truth, but is it really the same with what your heart is saying?"

"As much as I want to answer you, I really don't know. Aigoo. Maybe I just need some fresh air. It's suffocating me."

"Kaja, let's have ice cream then we could just rest at our room."

 

On their last tour day in Macau, Jongin and Yifan just slept like logs that they woke up only when it's time to eat. They also went to swim at the pools and jacuzzis to relax. Afterwards, they went to get mango mochi and almond cookies for Jongdae, went to the Eiffel Tower at The Parisian and enjoyed the breathtaking and luxurious view of Macau skyline at the Golden Reel Ferris Wheel at The Studio City.

"How are you feeling now? Were you able to relax?"

"Yes. Thank you so much."

"What's that for?"

"Thank you for staying with me, especially when that happened. If I was alone, I might've really pushed both of them to the waters. Thank you for your help too."

"Their faces are too funny. The girl was looking at me while that Taemin guy's face lightened up when I mentioned your name."

"I know. I saw everything. I kept a good distance from you. And I've heard everything too."

"It must've hurt to hear everything out from his own mouth."

"It does but I think I wasn't just hurt. I am disappointed."

"Who wouldn't be disappointed when you just saw how he's a full-blown liar when you know the whole truth. Then there is also someone so dumb to believe all his lies."

"I am also disappointed in myself. I have been hurting for so long that I thought it's still normal. I guess I was really a masochist."

"I'm sorry that you got addicted to pain because of what I did."

"Maybe I am not also just addicted to pain. Maybe I was more addicted to hope, and that is deadlier. Those hope would kill me when pain can only hurt me."

"Jongin.." Yifan hugged Jongin as tears went down his face.

"Yifan ge, tomorrow, can you accompany me to the Macau Tower?"

"Wae? What are you thinking?"

"Want to get some pastries at least before my flight."

"Oh alright."

 

But after buying pastries at the Macau Tower 360° Café, Yifan was surprised because he saw Jongin wearing harnesses. He was also very serious. There is no smile nor anything on Jongin's face except for determination, passion and fury.

"Jongin ah, are you sure about this? Hyung is worried."

"Hyung, I have to."

"You don't have to if you really can't do it. We could waive the payment."

"No hyung. I can do it and I will do it."

"So you're very sure?"

"Yes hyung." Suddenly, Jongin's eyes started to water but his face became more serious than ever.

"Ready?" After taking a very deep breath, he nodded. At the count of one to three, he jumped without hesitation as his tears went out of his eyes.

"Kim Jongin, himneyo!!!" Initially, Jongin thought of suicide but he knows that a lot of people, including his family - his Heechul hyung and Siwon hyung, his sisters Ahyoung and Seolhyun plus their babies, then Jongdae's family, Wonsik's family and his other friends love him so he didn't want to end his life. But he wanted to feel the adrenaline of giving everything up like it's all or nothing and now or never - so he decided to conquer his fear of heights and fear of falling by bungee jumping. He wanted to give up but also wanted to start over. He wanted to be reborn so his foolishness, naïveness and masochistic tendencies would be gone.

"Hyung, I was able to jump!" Jongin exclaimed as they were on their way to Macau Airport.

"I'm so proud of you, Jongin ah!! You did it! You're so brave and you're so strong!! Keep your head up always. Hyung is here for you, okay? I won't be going away again."

"Thank you so much, Yifan hyung."

"No. I owe everything to you. I would forever make up for all the pain I made you feel and the years that I wasn't by your side. I would always be sorry for it yet I'm also grateful to you, for giving me another chance to be back in your life."

"Thank you for coming back, hyung. Really."

"And I am sorry for that one night too. I was so drunk and I needed.. I'm really sorry."

"Just take that as my welcome gift. But since it's a welcome gift, there's no part 2 okay?"

"I got it. Ah, I'll miss you. You could always message me, ara?"

"Yes hyung. I'll miss you too. I guess going out of Korea for 2 weeks is worth it."

"Glad to hear that. I'll see you again."

"You could always visit me in Korea too. I'll have to go or I'll miss my flight. Thank you so much, Yifan hyung."

"All for you, Jongin ah." Jongin gave another wave to his Yifan hyung as he went inside the airport until he found himself in one of the first class seats again.

"You're spoiling me a lot, really." He sent a message to Yifan and he replied immediately.

"One last blow of Yifan's power. Don't worry, when I go back to Korea, you could use your power on me."

"I'll wait for that."

 

####  _Neol wihaeseo ramyeon nan seulpeodo gippeun cheok hal suga isseosseo. Neol wihaeseo ramyeon nan apado ganghan cheok hal suga isseosseo. Sarangi sarangmaneuro wanbyeokhagil nae modeun yakjeomdeureun da sumgyeojigil. Irwojiji anhneun kkumsogeseo piul su eopsneun kkocheul kiwosseo._

####  _If it was for you I could pretend to be happy even when I was sad. If it was for you I could pretend to be strong even when I was hurting. I wished that love would only need love to be perfect that all my flaws would be hidden. In a dream that wouldn't come true I grew a flower that couldn't bloom._

 

Jongin arrived back to Seoul after a week of wandering around Hongkong and another week in Macau with his companion Yifan, without any means of communication with Taemin. After getting fetched by Jongdae and telling him everything including his sudden travel with Yifan and the unexpected encounter at The Grand Canal, Jongin went home to his unit. Apparently only a few hours since Jongin arrived home, Taemin came.

"Love, I'm sorry."

"Oh. Long time no see."

"Are you still mad at me? Please, love. I'm really sorry."

"Mad? Not quite sure if I am mad at you. Maybe what I feel is crazy, out-of-my-mind madness, not just being mad angry. So how are you while I was away? Did you enjoy going out on dates with your girlfriend? You should have, you got 2 weeks worth of quality time without any disturbance from me. Ah! How was your date at that Grand Canal? How was the gondola ride?"

"Jonginnie, let's not talk about that for now."

"But I want to talk about it now. I just got off of you for 2 weeks and I am wondering how it went and what you've felt when I was gone. Did you miss me? Heck, did I ever cross your mind? Were you curious on where I went since I got another luggage load with a month worth of clothes? What would I be doing on that place, who would I be with and when would I come back? Or would I really come back again? Did you even remember that I was mad and I told you that I would live my life like how you live yours for you to go back here like nothing's wrong?"

"Jonginnie, you know that I love you. I'm only being nice to her."

"Are you even curious on what happened to me when I was away? You never even asked how my trip turned out!"

"I'm really sorry love. Where did you go this time?"

"Maybe you're not even curious. Maybe you really don't care at all."

"I do! I want to know. Where did you go?"

"Hong Kong."

"Oh. Hong Kong. Have you met Yixing hyung? Were you with him?"

"No. I was with a different person."

"May I know who that person is?"

"Here." Jongin showed a picture of him and Wonsik, then a photo of him and Yifan at the Kowloon Park on the same night after they finally had their closure.

"I don't know both of them."

"The guy on the second photo, that's my first love. Yifan. He's a musician in Hong Kong."

"Oh. Congratulations to him. When was the last time you saw each other?"

"2013."

"6 years ago. Woah."

"He's the one that got away. The man that I admire and loved so much, the same person that I've told you before. The person who made me feel special and loved until one day he disappeared. He threw away our friendship as if it was nothing, as if I was nothing."

"So it's that man. I remember now."

"He has changed. And the two of us, we talked. I asked the reason why he left me without any word, he told me that he wants to be successful in life before he take me. He chose his career over me. He pulled himself away from me even if it means I would get hurt so much. But when we talked after 6 years, he was even the one who caught my attention when I was certain that he won't talk to me. The tables have turned: he was the one that got away and now, I am."

"You forgave him?"

"I'm still acknowledging the fact that I'm back in his life, and he's back in my life too. Maybe our timing wasn't right back then. I am still in shock with the fact that he had a 360° turnaround when he blocked all our means of communications. Most especially, I was surprised that he gave me an explanation on why he left. It's a good trip, we were able to restart our friendship even of it's back to zero. And we had fun in Macau.."

"That's good for you. You finally got the closure. You deserve that." Still, Taemin didn't want to talk about the trip and encounter in Macau.

"Yes. I got what I deserve from this trip. Peace, inner peace, peace of mind, comfort in solitide and silence plus an end to my questions and doubts for him. I think I deserve a closure from you too. Let's stop this, Taemin. I've had enough. I'll surrender. I'll accept defeat. I will let you go."

"Jjamkkan what are you trying to say?"

"Lee Taemin, let's break up."

"All of a sudden? Hey, you shouldn't say those kinds of words! You shouldn't joke around with that!"

"I'm serious. I'm breaking up with you and tonight, we'll end everything. I'll also get my closure from you."

"Me? Wh- do you.. really want to.. break up? Why?!"

"I won't endure anymore. I'm too tired with this setup. If only you know how hard it is to be an option, a choice and a second best, you'll know how much it hurts and how much it makes me crazy."

"Please don't say that! I won't break up with you. I can't break up with you. I won't leave you. You know that I love you so much, Jonginnie!"

"Yet you're still an indecisive bitch for keeping two relationships at once! If you don't love me, it's okay! I could take that. I've been through breakups and more, I know it would hurt but I would prefer to get hurt and move on than stay with you when you do not love me! You're telling me that you're happy when you are with me yet it shows in your face that you enjoy being with her too. Why can't you just leave her and let her die? You can't do anything about her condition anyways. Call me a devil but fucking fuck, your reasons for two timing are invalid!"

"Jongin, look okay? I love you both. Both of you are important to me and I can't let any of you go."

"Wow! Thank you! Thank you for slapping that to my face! Thank you for finally admitting that you do love her. You love me? No. That's not love. Maybe you were just trying hard to keep up with the love that I give you. Maybe your 'I love you's were empty words so I won't give up on you, so I won't leave you. But if you love someone while you love me, that is not love. That is fake love." Jongin slipped out of the words Taemin have told him and soon enough, he got another bag and filled it with Taemin's things.

"Love, please. Don't do this to me. I'm sorry." Taemin tried to stop him but since Jongin is taller and have a bigger body frame than him, he was just shoved by the side of the bed.

"Here. Take your things. Woah, I never thought I'd do this again when I've done this before with Yixing. Maybe it's your turn. You may leave my house. Go back to the hell where you came from and I hope the two of you rot there."

"Jongin, please. Please don't do this to me."

"So you think those words still work? Hah Lee Taemin maybe you thought that I could never resist you when you're begging but that won't work now. I'm trying to help you sort your life. You won't have a problem anymore because I would take myself out of your life. It would be your advantage, you could go out on dates with her without any disturbance, without hurting anyone. Just like how you were before you pursued me and just like how you've dated at the fucking Grand Canal after getting engaged. Fiancé and fiancée? Fine. Marry each other, I won't stop you. Actually, I should've done this before. I should've done this as soon as I found out that you already have a girlfriend and you lied to me when you told me that your last relationship was 2 years ago. I should've done this before and now, I have enough courage to do it. Finally, I would be free of being your prisoner. I have been a captive of your fake love. You should've listened when I told you that you don't have to love me just because I love you. Well it's also my fault for letting you stay this long in my life. It's our anniversary today and you're kind of overstaying now so go and go back to where you came from. It's getting late, she might be wondering where you've been when you're already done with work for today."

"Are you sure about this Jongin?"

"When I knew that I wasn't the only one, I never pleaded that you shouldn't do that to me. I am worthy and I deserve someone who would love only me. I was not raised just to settle and compromise, plus it's not my purpose to share you with someone else. I am greedy, selfish, desperate, obsessive and needy. I want to be the only one and if you can't do that, the door is open for you."

"But I really love you Jongin! Please believe me.."

"Why can't you understand?!? Just move out of my fucking house because I don't want to see your face anymore! I don't want this place to be tainted by your unfaithfulness. It's better for me to make you move out than make you live here when you're doing something behind my back. I look like a husband that is getting cheated on so fucking go back to your girlfriend's family's house!"

"Please Jongin, don't break up with me. I'll move out if that's what you want but please don't leave me. I love you so much, and my love for you is different from her. Please give me another chance even if I won't live here with you anymore."

"No, you really have to go. Out of my house and out of my life." Jongin said coldheartedly while robot Taemin is shedding tears.

"I love you, Jongin and I would prove to you that I really do even if Naeun is getting between us."

"Fuck you million times, Lee Taemin. Fuck you until you'll get fucked well in hell."

####  _On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright. Then this thing turned out so evil, I don't know why I'm still surprised. Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take that to new extremes. But you'll always be my hero even though you've lost your mind. So maybe I'm a masochist, I try to run but I don't want to ever leave. 'Til the walls are goin' up in smoke with all our memories. Just gonna stand there and watch me burn but that's all right because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry but that's all right because I love the way you lie._

A few weeks since Taemin got kicked out of the house came Jongin's birthday. Jongdae was in Siheung and would only be able to get back to Seoul after 20 hours and it's already 6pm so he celebrated his special day alone.

"Birthday, Jongin ah."

"Aigoo hyung! Wish me a happy birthday."

"Birthday, Jongin ah. I wish you'd be happy not just on your birthdays but for all of your days. Jaejoong hyung, Minseok hyung and me loves you."

"Aw that's better. Hahah. Thanks."

"So what's your birthday menu?"

"I got 3 buckets of kfc chicken. I'll binge eat while watching variety shows."

"Aigoo. Ah, do you have a cake there?"

"I have one and it's a complicated cake. I was undecided so I got different cake slices and put it all together to have a whole cake. It suits my taste and cravings so much."

"Make a wish when you blow the candle okay?"

"Do I still have to do that? I mean I'm 25 years old today."

"Who knows, your wish may come true at the right time."

"Ara ara I would do that for you."

"Send me a video ara? See you in 2 days." Just a moment before Jongdae told his closing greetings to Jongin, the doorbell rang.

"Go ahead and treat your guest right."

"Aigoo jinjja. Now I am annoyed. I don't want any disturbance today."

"Ya answer your door. I'll go too. Bye."

"Ara hyung. Bye!" Then as if his hyung is watching him, he checked the guest outside his door.

"Jonginnie, happy birthday! I love you. It's me, Taemin."

"The fuck? Ah I won't accept visitors today. Jongin is out so please just leave."

"Mwoya? Since when did his door get an AI? Jonginnie please let me in. It's your birthday, you should-"

"Yes? What's your problem with Naeun that you're here?"

"Happy birthday. I have a cake and some presents for you."

"There's no need for you to take care of me. I am fine. Anything else?"

"Can I join you today?" Jongin attempted to close his door but Taemin got his leg inside.

"Please? Even just for today. I want to treat you right on your special day."

"You really haven't given up huh?"

"No I haven't. I won't give up and you can't stop it." He gave a look onto his heart and looked at Jongin again.

"Okay okay. But there would be rules."

"What rules?"

"No kissing, making out, touching; skin contact, blowjob, handjob or sex. I want to keep my place's dignity."

"It may be hard but okay, I would follow those rules."

"Oh really."

"Yes. I promise, I'd be a good boy."

"Okay. Come in."

 

Taemin was surprised to see bags of chips, different cake slices and ice cream tubs, some bottles of soju and packs of yogurt milk, then of course cartons of milk and bags of strawberries.

"So it's the time of the month again? PMS?"

"More than that, it's anti depressant foods."

"I'm sor-"

"Don't be. I wanted this so I have to live with it. This would eventually happen later on, it just happened earlier than expected"

"But I am serious! I really lo-"

"Sorry to cut you out again but you don't have to say that you love me. I want those words to be sacred, not just being said out of habit. And you don't have to love me in return just because I love you. I can live with that, one sided love than being lured on a fake love. I don't want to get my hopes high because I also don't want something to happen that I would have to ask you to choose between her or me because as early as now, I already know the answer."

"Listen Jongin. I have plans for us. I have plans for you. I want you to be mine because I love you. I really do. I'm just doing those things to make her feel better so she would get treatments. When time comes that she'll get well, I'd go far away with you."

"What are you trying to say? That you have plans for me? That you have plans on running away from her?"

"Yes. As much as I want to tell you everything, I will keep it to myself for now. But I have plans for us, and I have plans to make you my only love. You just have to trust me."

"You really are good with words huh? Can lure out men or women so you could lay them down."

"I'm not trying to lay you down because I can fuck you right here, right now if I want to, but I won't. I want to win you back and I have to explain myself and my plans for you so you could trust me again."

"But I already got back with Yifan."

"Huh?"

"He's on his way now. I will get laid, but not by you."

"Are you serious?"

"Why not? He's my first love and he's 'the one that got away'. Now, he's 'the one that came back'." Taemin's face didn't look good after Jongin mentioned getting back with Yifan. He continued to look away from Jongin with his face seriously obvious that he is jealous and hurt.

"Ask him if he's near so I could leave before he arrives."

"You don't want to meet him?"

"There's no point to meet the man I lost my love onto. He would only slap the truth that he have won and I am a big loser for letting you go."

"Aw. So humble huh? You're still too cute."

"Ya I am a man! I am not cute. I am handsome."

"Yifan is handsome though. He's also 6 feet tall, a basketball player, actor and a real musician. A conservatory graduate plus his face is scattered everywhere in China. He have lots of money too. He got me seated on first class seats on the plane and got a presidential suite on 5-star hotels. He did all of that only for me.."

"He may be taller and bigger than me, could play basketball better than me or play music better than me, even give you all you need and more because he have lots of money but I am more handsome because I am beautiful as well. And I still won, I got both your firsts when he didn't take his chance."

"Oh. That's right! You're beautiful. Hahaha."

"Aigoo jinjja here we go again. Where is he?"

"Still on the road. Ah I want to start warming up. Want to drink?"

"Pour me some then, I'm still older than you."

"Only by 6 months."

"Yes in 6 months I would be a year older than you. Bleeh."

"You're really cute. Ah your cheeks are popping! My fluffy doll."

"You're a better doll than me! Aigoo. Okay, let's drink."

Jongin got surprised by the doorbell ringing. Knowing that it's not Taemin made him a bit grumpy as he mentally kill the bastard who dare to interrupt this moment with his love.

"Uhm, is that Yifan already? Or do you expect anyone else to come here tonight?"

"No, that's not yet Yifan and no, I do not expect anyone to come here. Even I didn't expect that you'll show up on my door when I am already celebrating my birthday alone." Jongin got on his feet and went to answer his door.

"Oh? Package delivery?" Jongin opened his door with a questioning face towards the delivery man.

"Yes how can I help you?"

"Mr. Kim Jongin?"

"Yes that's me. Wae?"

"You have a package. Please acknowledge this and sign."

"Aigoo. Maybe it's a birthday gift from my sisters and Heechul hyung and Siwon hyung. Or from Wonsik or Jongdae hyung. Or it could be from Yifan ge. Hehe." Jongin accepted the big box inside his door while Taemin took a sip of his drink.

"Ah. Finally my package arrived. I thought it won't arrive today."

"This is your gift? For me?"

"Yes. That's my birthday gift for you, aside from the cakes, food and myself, also the time and effort to be here on your special day. I hope you like it."

"Oh jinjja? If this is your gift for me, what's inside?"

"Apparently the gift won't be me since I am here so I got something for you. A cute furniture set because I know you like furnitures." Jongin took a peek as he slowly slashed the packaging tapes enclosing the box.

"What kind of furniture is this, love?"

"Love seat."

"I don't think a love seat could fit inside this box though.."

"Just open it up and you'll see."

Jongin was greeted with a deer-horned chair, a zero-gravity stool with a bungee swing then a chair with rope lights. There is also a shoe box.

"Really Taemin? Three chairs and another box?"

"Why not? Besides, those chairs have their own use. Open up the little box too." Jongin smiled as he opened the box to see a Rillakkuma hoodie and was surprised when he unfold it, it's a Rillakkuma bear onesie.

"This is so cute."

"I know how much you love bears but I also know how much you love me so I got those chairs too."

"But those chairs seem to be a bit odd."

"Odd? It's not odd. It's just special. And just like what I've told you, they have their own use. Do you want me to give you a demo?"

"Sure. Tell me how to use those chairs."

"Okay." Suddenly, Taemin started to unbutton Jongin's clothes that the birthday boy got startled.

"Why are you stripping my clothes off?"

"It's needed, love. You have to go and change into the onesie first."

"Aigoo you should've told me! I could've just went to the bathroom and change my clothes myself."

"Ya Kim Jongin don't try to make me laugh. I have seen your entire body a lot of times. We had sex for so many times for you to be embarrased getting naked in front of me." Jongin got more surprised when Taemin stripped his own clothes off.

"And why are you taking your clothes off too?"

"I'll be changing as well. I got this." He got his bag and took out a yellow tiger onesie.

"Oh so you're tiger and I am a bear. Okay."

"Palli and change your clothes! You shouldn't have anything under the onesie okay?" Taemin took all his clothes off in front of Jongin, including his boxers so the birthday boy was able to see Taemin's throbbing red cock.

"Ya you.. aish jinjja I knew it! This is a trap." Jongin's mouth fell wide open at the sight of Taemin's cock. He took off all his clothes including his underwear while trying his best not to get hard with his boyfriend's angry cock pointed on the tiger onsie crotch. Jongin just facepalmed himself as he settled on his onesie that turned out to be crotchless.

"Okay, are you ready love?"

"Uhm yes?"

"Come here." Taemin got Jongin's two hands and led him to where the chairs are settled. First, Taemin went on the deer-horned chair. He laid over the slightly elevated back rest against the deer horns and held it. He looked like a submissive top ready to be ride on.

"This chair is for your back. And it also becomes a support for your hands so you won't experience cramps. Love, come and ride me."

"Huh? Ride you?"

"Eish come on Kim Jongin. Just do it."

"Why should I ride you?"

"So I could demonstrate on how you would use the support on your hands. Or should you lay down like this and I would ride you instead?"

"Huh? If I lay down,I wouldn't be able to move. Okay okay stay there. I'll ride you."

"Good boy." Jongin straddled against Taemin's thighs that Jongin's cock sprang out of his crotchless onesie while Taemin's pointed cock was twitching, wanting to get out of the cloth restraining against it.

"Do you like my present?"

"Uhm. I like this but I want to see the other presents first. Maybe I could like it better than this or whatever."

"Okay." Taemin sat up with Jongin still riding him and hugged the birthday boy. Taemin kissed his boyfriend deeply as he wasn't able to hold himself back.

"I miss you so much. I miss kissing and hugging you so much."

"Taemin, let me go."

"Let's just stay like this for a moment."

"Ya.. I could feel your cock twitching. It's getting angry at me."

"Because you make him so excited. So thirsty for you."

"Taemin.. I told you, let me go."

"What would you do if I don't want to?"

"I'll kick you out of here and you'll go home wearing only that."

"Okay okay. But one last kiss please?"

"Why should I kiss you? It's not your birthday."

"Alright. I'll kiss you instead. I love you." Taemin kissed Jongin deeply again and this time, Jongin responded deeply too.

"Okay okay let's go to the next chair. I'll try the zero-gravity stool but I need your cooperation this time. Can you lay down the carpet?"

"Wae? What would you be doing?"

"Just go and do it, baby. Palli." As if he was a very obedient boy, Jongin laid down the carpet then Taemin caged him with the stool.

"Stay put, love." Taemin slowly sat at the straps of the stool and as he put his weight, the straps stretched until he was able to feel Jongin's cock against his clothed crotch. He slowly bounced up and down while feeling Jongin's cock. He couldn't help it anymore so he stopped, stood up, took the stool away and kissed Jongin that's still laying down the carpet.

"I love you. I really love you, Jonginnie."

"Taeminnie.." Taemin kissed him again and got his arms wrapped around Jongin's waist.

"I want to try the next chair myself. The bungee one."

"Okay love but I just want you to know, I might not be able to hold back."

"It's.. it's fine."

"Sure?"

"Yes. Give me the best birthday gift ever."

"Okay love." Taemin carried Jongin to the couch and got the bungee harness. He also helped Jongin ride the bungee swing with his legs spread out, his cock half hard and his femme hole glistening wet.

"Oh my gosh love. You're so wet.." Taemin couldn't help but touch his love's wetness and inserted a finger inside.

"Aouh Taemin!" Taemin also knelt down to eat Jongin out while he stucked his finger deeper, while his other hand caressed the birthday boy's cock.

"You told me I should give you the best birthday gift ever. Do you still want me to continue or do you want me to stop?"

"Do not tease me. Give it to me, palli!!"

"Birthday boy is a bit excited."

"Ah jebal I'm so thirsty of your cum, love. Palli!"

"Are you commanding me or are you asking me nicely?"

"I'm asking nicely like a cute little boy.. Taemin oppa, please."

"Oh. Taemin oppa, please? Can I hear that again?" At Jongin's plead, his cock got so hard so he unbuttoned his onesie and took out his very angry, twitching red cock.

"Okay love, oppa's gonna give it to you. I love you so much."

"I love you too." Taemin glistened his cock's head from Jongin's wetness before he pushed himself deep inside his love. Jongin is at the bungee swing and Taemin have all the control most especially the intensity of his thrusts. When he got impatient, he stopped the swing from moving, grabbed the restraints and fucked Jongin into oblivion until both of them screamed as they came together.

"Woah. Still my favorite scene. I really love fucking you and making you leak out with my cum."

"You gave me a month load of cum. I love it. My thirst is quenched."

"What quenched? Na-uh. It's only the foreplay. We're definitely not done yet."

"Ah yeah. That last chair."

After resting and cuddling for a bit, it's now Taemin's turn to get fucked so he got himself ready with the lube. He also got Jongin ready by starting to suck off the birthday boy's dick while pushing back the cum leeking out of his femme hole with his pinky finger.

"I thought I'd fuck you this time? You're making me wet too soon. Get your cock ready too because after I fuck you, you have to fuck me again."

"You miss my cock so much? Huh?"

"Yes."

"Wow. You're so honest."

"I do.. I miss your cock going in and out of me and of course, your cock painting my insides with your hot, white cum. I miss your milk so much so you should have enough supply for me because I will drain you later."

"Oh really. Fuck me first then I'll pay you back with a year load of cum."

"Sure love. Suck me, palli." Taemin sucked Jongin's cock like a slave. And of course, Taemin sucked him well that Jongin quickly got hard enough. Jongin pushed Taemin towards the seat of the chair and opened all the buttons of the tiger onesie, including the last button before the tiger tail.

"Who would've thought that a bear would top a tiger. So horangie is a submissive one?"

"Tiger just like to receive love. But he's not a submissive one."

"Oh really." Jongin got his cock against Taemin's hole and leaned his face over Taemin's nape. He licked his love's nape and back of the neck. When he went deep, Jongin started to suck Taemin's neck like a vampire.

"Oh my gosh I miss you too. I miss you fucking me too. Ah I miss your cock so much."

"Do you like it?"

"Yes! I like it and I love it!"

"What I'm doing is the actual scene of a bear in the safari fucking a tiger. And we all know how it's like to make love with a tiger. It would always be doggy style."

"Yes! Yes love! Yes!" Taemin got real high as Jongin got to penetrate his prostate.

"Do tigers want it sweet or rough?"

"Roughly sweet!!"

"But should I demonstrate how animals fuck?"

"Yes love. Yes please. I love you." Taemin murmured as Jongin thrusted in and out of him.

"Cum inside me so I could have your cum leaking out of my hole too."

"Sure thing."

"Ahm, Jonginnie?"

"Yes love?"

"Uhm, actually I want to try.. filming."

"Filming what?"

"I want us to film this. What we're doing. Let's film our love scenes."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes! But let's use your phone. I would want to watch that whenever I am feeling hot or when I miss you when you're out.. please?"

"But isn't that dangerous? I trust you but then.."

"It's okay. We'll take it on your phone. Do not worry, we won't upload it."

"Uhm okay but later after this. Okay?"

"Okay love. Ahhhhh so big."

"You're so tight too!"

"Well it's been a very long time since you last fucked me. I preserved that tightness for you." Jongin was still sucking Taemin's neck until he came, he was surprised to see how big the hickey is. He just smiled at Taemin hoping that his love won't get angry at him.

"Woah there. So it's true. There's a certain pride and accomplishment to see you leaking off with my cum. It's a very beautiful view." Jongin pulled his cock out of Taemin's ass and admired the view.

"Love, take a photo. Palli!"

"Huh? Okay." Jongin hurriedly went to get his phone and took lots of pictures of Taemin and his ass with the dripping cum.

_(A/N This is the last chair hehehe)_

Taemin and Jongin ended up banging (again) as if there were no rules laid out earlier. They also forgot about Yifan, especially Taemin, who he thought would come for Jongin's birthday.

"I thought Yifan is on his way? I have to secure this place so no one could disturb us." Taemin activated the total security lock while Jongin was chuckling. Both of them are drunk and also drunk in love.

"I really love you, Jonginnie. I hope you'd believe me. Happy birthday."

"Thank you. I would love it if you would also make me feel your love not just tonight but the rest of our days together." They got Jongin's phone mounted and started to record their unstoppable love making and union as they kissed and continued with their burning passion and love at the bedroom.

Tiger Taemin

Bear Jongin

Tiger Taemin on fours

Bear Jongin taking off his onesie

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	10. The Player, The Cheater, The Liar, The Killer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is about Taemin, his life, his love, his truth and his reasons especially the reason why he is two-timing and why he cannot choose only one person to stay with.
> 
> I hope this chapter would give some explanations and clarifications about Taemin's personality and relationships especially with Jongin and Naeun.

Taemin just got off from his work and is on his way to Jongin's place when he saw a familiar face at the dining room. This man's face was too familiar to forget as this person had been a big part of his life.

"Jihoon hyung?" He asked the bulky man that is carrying a baby girl.

"Jjamkkan. Taemin? Is that you?"

"Yes it's me! Uwaaah it's really nice to see you again!" Jihoon hugged Taemin on his side since he is carrying the baby girl.

"It's been so long. How are you now?"

"I'm actually a chef of this restaurant. I didn't know that it's you. Jjamkkan, I'll put your bill in my file."

"Ania ania it's okay. It'll be too much. Maybe you could do that next time. So you're a chef now? The food is good, as expected from you."

"Thank you. And this baby girl?"

"Ah yes by the way this is my eldest, baby girl Jiyeonnie. Taehee and my baby boy just went to the restroom."

"Oh so you're going strong with nuna. Wow. And you have a very beautiful baby girl. She looks like her mom though, sorry hyung."

"It's okay, Jiyeon is Taehee's junior while Taehoon is my junior. We have the same eyes."

"Woah jinjja? That's too cute. Hello Jiyeonnie. How old are you?"

"2 sal."

"How cute. So you're two years old. Ah, now that I see babies from the people I know, I get envious."

"Well we're not getting any younger and having kids is one of the most rewarding gift in the world. I think you're also at the right age to have a baby. You and your girlfriend should talk about it."

"Well actually we have an angel. Sadly it only lasted for almost 2 months."

"Oh I'm sorry. Sorry if I brought that up."

"It's okay. We could try again. And there would be more chances for us." Then Taehee with her baby boy Taehoon came back.

"Honey, remember Taemin from highschool? The boy who dances gracefully? It's him now. He's the chef of this restaurant."

"I only got a few memory but I do remember your face and your name. Hello, I'm Taehee and this is my baby boy Taehoonie. Baby say hi."

"Cute. How old is he?"

"He's turning 9 months tomorrow."

"Oh happy 9th month Taehoonie. Woah, Jihoon hyung is right. He looks like him."

"Yes and Jiyeon looks like me."

"I'm glad that I was able to see you again. It's really been so long. And the babies, they are so adorable. Our angel might've been as old as Taehoon now."

"Oh so you gained an angel? It's okay, your angel will guide you to have an eternal bond between your other half. And your angel would surely help you have lots of babies in the future. You just have to try again."

"Thank you for the encouragement. And can I have your contact? I'll also give you mine so I could treat you and cook a special dish for you when you dine here again."

"Yeah sure. That would be awesome."

"Alright. Thank you! Don't forget to tell me. It's very nice to meet your beautiful family. Stay healthy!" Then he walked off with a bittersweet smile. That man, his first love is very happy with his family and his kids while he is still struggling in choosing between somebody he loves and somebody who loves him.

Jung Jihoon had been Taemin's first love since he was 14 and he was his senior in highschool. Actually, Jihoon is the reason Taemin knew that he is gay. He liked Jihoon so much, especially his dancing so he tried his best to learn how to dance. Jihoon had also been his trainer before the older graduated, with Taemin advancing on another class afterwards. Taemin knows that Jihoon is straight but he hoped that he could at least get a good look from his crush but it didn't happen because he got a girlfriend named Kim Taehee. Funny how the world revolves, Taemin liked Jihoon yet Jihoon love Taehee. He wished that he could also have Taehee as his name, and be a girl so Jihoon could love him too.

He confessed to Jihoon that he likes him and for the first time in his life, he cried. He didn't know what to do because something inside him, if not for his whole being, is hurting especially now that Jihoon would be going away. The outburst was also because of the fact that his crush doesn't like him back. Jihoon have acknowledged Taemin's feelings but apologized because he can't love him back as he is straight.

But as he advanced on the next class Jihoon have left, Taemin met Jihoon's cousin Jung Yunho, a senior of 3 years. Yunho is gay and gave Taemin lots of attention since he dances well that he also came to be his favorite. Yunho eventually tugged Taemin onto his side, and wrap his arms on Taemin's shoulders. This hyung have taught him how to be affectionate and intimate that they began hugging and eventually, kissing. Since Yunho is openly gay, Taemin's first fuck was with him. He was able to fuck Yunho's ass at the fresh age of 15 and liked it ever since. Taemin have confirmed to himself that he really likes men while he was with Yunho, when he thought he was just confused and only crushing on Jihoon.

When Yunho graduated, Taemin just got a message from him saying that he should just focus on his studies and not get bothered by him, and that they would have to part ways. One day, he found out that Yunho is in a relationship with his other dance trainer Kwon Boah.

Taemin was devastated twice by the two cousins, same surname, same specialty in dance and also same reason - they chose to be with girls.

When Taemin graduated from highschool in 2010, his brother Taesun went home with a girl and a baby. Turned out that he got his girlfriend pregnant and would be living on their family house in Gangnam. It's not actually a problem since they have a house big enough to fit 2 families, as it is built intended for their future.

"You should've told me that I'd be an uncle. It's shocking you know."

"What's shocking? Come on, we are men. We are also supposed to be taking women at home, to love them and to care for them. I just got a bit advanced because I also got a baby girl."

"What's the girl's name again?"

"Son Saeeun. Baby is Lee Eunhae."

"Oh. Well this may be half hearted since I'm still shocked but congratulations."

"Thank you, brother."

 

Taemin was able to live peacefully even if there are times when he gets awakened because of his crying niece. Before the start of his first year in senior high school, he was surprised when his brother and his wife took home another girl.

"From now on, she would be staying with us here. She would help do the chores and while Saeeun and I work, she could help to take care of Eunhae. She's Naeun, she's actually Saeeun's older sister. She'd also be going to the same senior high school as you."

"Oh. Not that bad. Okay, welcome."

"Hello. I'm Taemin. That's my older brother. What's your name again?"

"Naeun."

"Ah. Naeun. Sorry, I'm just really bad at memorizing names. How old are you?"

"I'm born year 1994. February."

"Oh so I am older. Haha. That's cool. Since I only have a brother, you could be my sister too. Finally, I got to have a sister."

"Do you like to have one?"

"I always wondered how it feeks to have a sister. Someone feminine at the household. Just like that."

"Ah. Taemin do you have a girlfriend?"

"I've never had a girlfriend." _Because he had a boyfriend._

"I don't want to be your sister. I want to be your girlfriend instead."

"Ah what?! Jjamkkan you're too fast!"

"Your brother was too fast with my sister too. They even made us uncle and aunt when we are still young."

"I do not want to have my first girlfriend this way though."

"Why not? Your brother then my sister. Then you and me. When there are two pairs of couples, we wouldn't envy them when they do skinship."

"Aish this girl is really too fast. Woah hold on! I'll think about it."

 

Taemin thought about having a girlfriend for a while since his past loves (the Jungs) also chose to be with a girl. Besides, Naeun could be the safest girlfriend he'll ever have. They live in the same house, the have the same family, they would walk through the same way home, and they would know each other more than anyone else. If Taemin would have to choose someone as his girlfriend, the one he can't run away from is Naeun so after 3 years of push and pull with Naeun, while also throwing herself to Taemin plus declaring that Taemin is her boyfriend to the public, Taemin agreed.

But of course, the advancement of their relationship have freaked the hell out of Taemin. He never liked boobs but it's fine since Naeun doesn't have much. She have quite the hips, ass and the vagina but of course, she doesn't have a cock - something Taemin have wanted since Yunho also taught him how to give a blow. Whenever Naeun would want to have sex, Taemin just couldn't get hard enough so he would always say that he is going to pee and he would fall asleep afterwards.

Their relationship isn't actually a real relationship; it was only a cover up, to hide Taemin's sexuality because his brother doesn't know about it, and also to be accepted by the society. Coming out being gay in 2010 especially when he is only 17 years old is still a taboo so he just kept his relationship with Naeun even if it's only a 'label'.

Taemin couldn't get a grasp of his relationship with Naeun so when he had someone who likes him and someone he liked too, he grabbed the opportunity to be in a relationship with that someone, even if he would be two-timing.

He met the handsome varsity soccer player Choi Minho during the 2013 sportsfest, when he was also selected as the representative of their class. The Minho guy knew that Taemin is gay in one look and eventually lingered onto him until he gave in. After soccer practice, they would kiss and suck each other at the showers. Taemin fell head over heels in love with Minho and Minho felt the same way too, so they both made efforts to have more time for each other to the point that they would go on a day trip to Incheon beach, go to Wolmido or just check in at some inn and they could suck each other. As much as Taemin wanted to get fucked for the first time too, Minho wanted to be the submissive one. He wanted to be fucked real hard and good so Taemin got a good grip from Minho's ass, way better than his experience with Yunho.

 

Naeun found out about Taemin cheating on him so she picked up a fight with him when he came back. Of course, their siblings were surprised when they thought that the couple are okay, and more surprised to know that Taemin is having an affair. The fight went on until Naeun gave up and broke up with Taemin. Taemin didn't even flinched - he doesn't really love Naeun anyway. Maybe he cares for her but not romantically. He prefers Minho over Naeun. Naeun knew that Taemin is cheating on her but she didn't know that he is cheating with another guy, so she got her revenge by going out with different guys. Every month, she had a different boyfriend. She became a whore especially when she liked getting fucked. She also experimented with oral and anal sex, also having threesome, foursome, double penetration, triple penetration and also participated on some set-up orgy at the clubs she goes into.

A year after Naeun broke up with Taemin, Minho also got himself a new lover so Taemin let him go. He got another relationship too, this time with a choreographer and rapper named Park Jaebum. He have revived Taemin's love for dancing and they had a lot of fun sharing Korean and American heritage but since Jaebum have to go back and forth to Los Angeles plus Taemin is also studying for college, they drifted apart due to lack of time together.

But then all those years, there's this one person that knew everything that he have went through. Kim Jongin, his love, his mind, his heart and his life, who have picked all the pieces of his broken heart and made him feel good even if he was wounded. He only realized that when he was alone, when he doesn't have a boyfriend and Naeun isn't around so he pursued Kim Jongin that just broke up with his then boyfriend Zhang Yixing with that sweet note _'let's fuck each other so we don't have to go around and look for someone to fuck and someone fo fuck us. Let's do it without feelings.'_

Just when Taemin have felt fully alive with Jongin, his brother called him to say that Naeun is sick with STD that have also advanced to AIDS. She got it from getting fucked by different men without being safe. Naeun's sister and Taemin's brother blamed him for it, telling him that it could've never happened if only he was faithful to Naeun. Mentally, he wanted to curse everyone including his brother because they have been close minded because of Naeun when it was her choice to get fucked by different men at the first place.

"Take responsibility, Lee Taemin. Be man enough and love her again. No man would ever take her especially if they found out about her condition."

"But I do not love her. I'm in love with someone else."

"Fuck that love when someone else needs you the most! Remember, it's all your fault. And if you don't then you could get out of our house and our lives. Forget that you have a brother."

He was crying because of fury when everyone forced him to get stucked with the devil who lured herself to death and now he got blamed because of it. He was so frustrated but he has to help the incredible fuckgirl to at least instill kindness before anything serious happens.

 

"So you're her boyfriend?"

"Uhm yes doctor."

"Miss Son's STD have advanced to AIDS. We were sorry, if only she didn't just overlooked the early signs, she wouldn't have to come to this."

"Is there any treatment for this?"

"Sadly, there is still no cure discovered for AIDS. A lot of personalities around the world died because of it. It cannot be cured even if you have lots of money. It can only be prevented when you have safe sex."

"Actually she had multiple partners.. we broke up and she went around with different guys and it happened. But will she die?"

"Well people with STDs that have advanced to AIDS survive up to 3 years, still depending on the environment, the food that is taken and the stress. If it would be reduced or lengthened, we could never tell."

"Aigoo. So it can't be helped." Knowing that she have started to kill herself, Taemin felt pity towards Naeun. She could've just let him go when he cheated but she went to get some revenge but in the end, that revenge slowly killed her. And with what she had done, the countdown for the more or less 3 years of her life began.

 

Out of pity, Taemin agreed to be with Naeun again so he could also help her take her medicine, plus make her smile. Her sister and his brother are happy that they got back together but was sad that it had to turn out that way 

 

After a few weeks of Naeun and Taemin getting back together, she sensed that Taemin is up to something again so she took over his social media. He also got his phone and received messages from someone named Kim Jongin. It's a guy so she just shrugged but after a month or two, the Kim Jongin guy have sent explicit messages and also talked about how Taemin have fucked him. Naeun got stressed reading those messages because he might've only got a girl's number under a man's name. But soon enough when she received Jongin's photos of him and Taemin especially that photo when the two of them are together in bed, she passed out.

Taemin just knew what happened when she woke up at the hospital. When she got enough energy to get angry again, she blew up and asked Taemin about it.

"Kim Jongin.. who is that person?"

"He's my boyfriend."

"What? Boyfriend? You're gay?"

"Yes, I am gay."

"Since when?"

"Even before we met. That's the reason why I held back when you told me you wanted me to be your boyfriend."

"So that's the reason why you didn't want to have sex with me? You wanted a cock? Is that right?"

"Yes."

"Since when did you started fucking each other behind my back?"

"Almost at the same time that we got back together."

"And you never stopped even if we're back again?"

"No."

"You're so heartless! So selfish!! Why did I ever fell in love with you?!"

"Don't worry now. We also broke up. I chose you and I chose to take care of you. I'll be by yourside, to make up with the pain and suffering that I've inflicted you. I'm sorry. I know I did wrong but I would really try to behave this time. And I hope while I'll take care of you, you'd feel my love so you could get well soon."

Taemin never intended to hurt Jongin but he have agreed for taking responsibility of his sick and dying 'girlfriend', Taemin have set Jongin aside, making the younger man doubt Taemin's love for him. They broke up when Taemin got furious because he sent those messages (before when he was still pregnant with their angel) and then the second break up happened after Jongin saw Taemin and Naeun in Macau.

 

Taemin wanted to be sincere with taking responsibility for Naeun so he gave her a marriage proposal. He thinks that it's the only assurance he could give her, at least on the last days of her life. The fiancé-fiancée thing made Jongin blow up in rage in Macau that he decided to do a bungee jump even if he is not as brave in heights as Taemin.

 

When they came back to Seoul, everything fell apart especially Taemin was caught in the act. Jongin may have wanted Taemin out of his place and out of his life, but Taemin knows that Jongin would never want to let him go. He just have to give him some time alone and at the perfect time on Jongin's birthday, he tried his best and he did got back with his love. He have told Jongin his plans, that he would run away with him when everything is fixed even if he didn't explain how it would turn out. Basically Taemin would just have to wait until Naeun pass away before he could take and pursue Jongin.


	11. The Secret

Naeun wanted to go to her relatives overseas alone and Taemin was more than happy with that, because it means he would have lots of time for Jongin. Taemin's brother and Naeun's sister would be having another daughter soon so they just let her do whatever she wants so as soon as she comes back, she could play and take care of her baby niece.

 

Taemin wanted to try some kinks with Jongin because he really wanted to work Jongin's cock out. He was able to get it hard with some time in the past but this time, he wants Jongin to reach his limits while being a character: as Jongin's slave.

"Jonginnie? Love?"

"Um?" Jongin was still dreamy, still half awake when Taemin woke him up. He was surprised when he saw Taemin in some dance training outfit.

"Get up, let's go."

"Where are we going? Ah I'm still so sleepy." Jongin pouted with his eyes closed and Taemin just kissed him. Jongin smiled through the kiss but Taemin broke it before it gets deeper.

"Ehe. Let's go and stretch. Let's do it like the old times."

"Of all the things you'd want to do and of all the days why would you like to stretch today?"

"Please? Pretty pretty please? I miss dancing with you. Let's go and dance. It's been a while.."

"Dance? Okay." But Jongin just laid down the bed again.

"Love palli. Let's go.. or you won't get anything today."

"Aish jinjja you're so lucky that I love you! Really."

"I love you too. Hehehe." With Taemin's cute pleading, Jongin took a shower and got dressed in dance training clothes too.

Taemin have rented a dance studio from his college friend Jimin to have a special bonding day with his love. They got lots of songs they danced to, from hiphop, pop, house, elecronic dance music until some sultry music that requires sexy dances. Taemin being a varisty member of the dance club earlier than Jongin, pulled him up for a sexy dance battle. Taemin did some body rolls, hip shaking, intricate hand gestures with the facial expressions that Jongin loved - basically seducing him and being submissive.

"Ah ya don't pull that expression up! That's cheating!" But Taemin just continued until he pushed Jongin to a chair and gave him a lap dance.

"I told you we have to do some stretching. You have to cooperate okay?" Jongin nodded which made Taemin give a sexy smirk.

Taemin straddled Jongin on the chair and bended his back in the air so both their crotches are touching. Taemin moved forward and grinded against him as if he was riding a horse. Jongin felt himself get wet while he felt Taemin's slowly growing bulge. Taemin sat back up and got his face close to now a dazed Jongin, licked his lips slightly and stood up away from him.

Taemin laughed at himself because his love is so dazed and have a 'please fuck me' expression on his face.

"Love, are you okay?"

"Um. What's the purpose of this dance practice again?"

"To stretch our bodies. And somehow use our flexibility on other things."

"Like?"

"You fucking me. And I am training you."

"Training me? Of what?"

"I'm training your lovely cock to get hard easily. Hehe."

"I knew it. But love, aside from making me hard, I am soaking wet. And you have to take responsibility!" Jongin got a fake angry face and Taemin just kissed his lips.

"We'll get there okay? Just a little bit more. Let's go here?"

"Okay." They went to where the pole is and Jongin took his shirt off.

"Oh? You're going to try?"

"Yes. That's my specialty. I will show you flexibility and balance hehehe." Taemin was surprised because Jongin took his shoes, socks and pants off. In the end, he's only wearing his boxers that's drenched with his own wetness. Taemin couldn't help but lick his own lips at the sight of his love's glorious body.

Jongin have twisted, turned and swayed by the pole, and he also went up just to push his back in the air. He used all of the tricks he know in pole dancing and laughed when he saw Taemin drooling.

"Show me your moves, love." He went down to slightly touch Taemin that's sloely getting sensitive.

"I can't do pole dancing. I am so surprised. I never thought you were so good at that."

"A great revenge for what you've made me. See that? Boxers are drenched and my cock is starting to get hard. So show me your moves, even if you won't go up the pole. Show me so I'd be hard enough to fuck you."

"So it's a challenge. Okay." Taemin smirked again at his almost naked lover and did some sexy moves while holding the pole. He also tried slipping down against the wall with the very sultry and inviting sexual face again. He may not be able to come up but he could still definitely look sexy dancing especially when he is rubbing and grinding himself against it.

"Ah jinjja. Taemin." Jongin was too aroused, his boxers were seriously wet so he stripped down and got Taemin's wrist to push him down to the floor. Taemin willingly went with him and acted all submissive so Jongin would strip his clothes off.

"You became too naughty. You have to be controlled."

"I do not have self control, sorry. Show me.." Jongin slammed his lips down his love's lips and 'angrily' took Taemin's clothes off. He got Taemin's wrist again and they went near the pole.

"Jump onto me."

"Eh?"

"No more questions. Just do it."

"Okay." Taemin leaned against the pole and just like what Jongin instructed, jumped onto him. Jongin leaned him against the pole again as Taemin arranged himself with his ass above his cock. Jongin was surprised to see that his love is already penetrated with a butt plug.

"You really are ready, huh?"

"Yes. Fuck me."

"So this is really the purpose of this dance training, eh?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I'll show you endurance." Jongin got both Taemin's arms and made it hold the pole above his head, then made his legs hug his waist. He took the buttplug out and went inside Taemin. Taemin whimpered at the penetration but he looked so pleasured with his eyes closed so Jongin got 'angry' again and thrusted in and out of him madly.

"Aaaahhhh Jongiiiinn.. hnnnnggggggg.."

"You and your never ending kinks.."

"You know well that I love kinks. But I love you the most."

"You being cheesy at this state is inappropriate. Be kinky like your real self."

"I love how quick I make you hard. Your luscious cock is the best. I love you."

"Try harder."

"Ah, that's all I could think of.. your cock.. I live for you and your big, thick and long cock Jonginnie!! Fuck me always!! I'll be your naughty whore! I'll be your sex slave."

"Quite good. Uhhhngggmmm." Jongin groaned when Taemin tightened his muscles that made him release lots of cum inside his love. He got the butt plug and pulled his cock out just to put the butt plug inside Taemin's ass hole again.

"Sadly you won't get me pregnant with all of those cum. Look, it's overflowing even at the sides." It was a glorious sight to see Taemin leaking out of his cum, a kink he is fond of because of Taemin as well.

"I'm done. I did well. Now, take responsibility."

"Promise me that you'll always fuck me when I get you hard. Always. I don't care if someone sees, or if we are out in a public place. I will love that, you fucking me because you're out of control."

"Ah, public sex kinks. Ya you're watching porn again?"

"Watching you is like watching porn too. Hell, you are even better than them."

"Oh really."

"But please? Let's do that okay? Anytime, anywhere, find a way to fuck me. I'll surely love that."

"I'll agree after you take responsibility."

"Okay okay. So that'll be a deal. Alright." Taemin suddenly dove down Jongin's nether regions and ate him like a mad man. Jongins femme fluids are seriously leaking out, meaning he is indeed fertile.

"So it's the time of the month. Now I'm excited." Taemin smirked as he licked and sucked Jongin's femme hole, got one finger, two fingers inside him and fucked Jongin with his throbbing angry cock.

Jongin was a moaning mess but he is indeed louder than Taemin, he was like a cat getting fucked under the moonlight during his heat.

"Aaaahhh yes!! I love it! I love you so much!"

"Guess what? I love you, Jongin and I fucking love fucking you." He pushed Jongin down while Taemin knelt on his knees, only to lift Jongin's butt to a good angle where he could thrust in and out hitting his love's spot.

Jongin was fucked raw and hard and he got all Taemin's cum inside him. Since it isn't released on his ass and there's no butt plugs anymore, the cum dripped down to the floor and on Jongin's inner thighs when he sat up.

"Wow. You look so gorgeous, love. I love you."

"Thank you. You are alluring. I love you too." And they both laid down the dance floor to rest a bit before they clean themselves and go home.

"Woah, that was intense!"

"I glad that my efforts didn't go to waste, love. Your cock is not too shy to me anymore and he's not giving me a very hard time unlike before."

"Jinjja? Sorry."

"It's okay because I know you would've came and get your panties drenched with your femme fluids. I love it too but I really want to tame your cock down. Let me teach you how, okay?"

"Okay love."

"We could start with massage.."

 

After Taemin have massaged Jongin, Jongin went on his turn to massage Taemin. He have touched all the regions of Taemin's body that Taemin touched on his own body which made him feel so good, and with Taemin's body reflexes, his cock got hardened too.

He also knows that Taemin likes surprises, especially surprise sex. That's one of Taemin's kink, to get fucked when he least expect it so while Jongin massaged Taemin's back, he inserted his cock on Taemin's hole with one full thrust, making his love whimper in mix of pain and pleasure.

"You like that love?"

"Woah you're so hard!! Oh yes love go give it to me!! I want hard and rough!! Screw it, I want the hardest and roughest you could give!!"

"Okay. I love you." Since Jongin have been fucking Taemin from behind, Taemin lost energy on his arms, making him lean on the pillows as he whined when Jongin pulls out and as he whimpers when Jongin thrusts back in. Taemin was so high with pain and pleasure that his eyes were seeing stars. Jongin screamed his name when he came inside Taemin, filling him up with lots of cum for the nth time with less time interval.

"Is there any word that is more intense than intense? You filled me up so good love. I'm so proud of you and you too, my lovely cock. You're mine okay? I love you so much." Taemin got up limp and oozing with cum only to take Jongin's flaccid cock to suck. Afterwards, they kissed until they fell asleep hugging.

Jongin got awakened with his stomach rumbling so he went out of Taemin's hug. He checked his phone: it's already 7pm. He also got a message from Yifan.

'Jongin, are you with Taemin? I want to tell you something important. I'm not quite sure if he has to know this soon but it's about his girlfriend.'

He immediately turned up the video call and luckily, Yifan is online.

"Annyeong hyung. Sorry, I only got to read your message. I just woke up."

"Are you with Taemin?"

"He's still sleeping at the bedroom. I'm at the living room. It's too far for him to hear us."

"Alright. I would send something later on but I want you to know.. his girlfriend is in Macau."

"Macau? Jinjja? Ah Taemin told me that she would be going overseas to visit her relatives."

"Yeah right. Back here in Macau but I doubt that it's a relative that she's visiting."

"Where is she then?"

"She's at the red light district of Macau. Actually I have a friend, a fellow endorser who got invited to a VIP premiere of something at that club. They have photos together. Then later on she was seen with the big Korean pimp named Park Jaesang."

"Pimp? Meaning she's.."

"One look, she's at the dance floor. Then at the couch. Then at the VIP area. Then by the pimp's side. I actually just got here at the venue. I'll try my best to seduce her but make her feel that she haven't seen me before."

"Hyung, don't ever fuck her, okay? She's sick."

"Huh?"

"She's sick. She has a disease. Or if you will, make sure to use protection. That's what Taemin told me. She's sick down there. I don't want you to acquire that."

"Alright alright. Thanks for the warning. I'd have to remember that. I'll just send all the photos later."

"Okay. Take care, hyung."

 

Jongin was anxious because he wanted to tell Taemin everything but he still have to wait for the pictures Yifan would send him. He was also dead curious on why the hell Naeun is at Macau's red light district.

"Love, are you okay? You look tense." Taemin hugged Jongin from the back of the couch.

"Oh. You're awake now. Sorry, I forgot to wake you up. Are you hungry? I just called in for the delivery. I'm too lazy to cook."

"I'm fine with that but are you really okay? What are you thinking?"

"Uhm. Yifan hyung just sent a message asking how I am. I told him I'm fine and you're with me. He was still mad at what you did and said when we were in Macau, when you denied me in front of them even if the three of us know the truth."

"I'm still sorry for that but you know that I am lying to her but I am being true to you. If what I've said is true then I wouldn't really come after you last year. I wouldn't bother taking you back."

"Yeah I know and I told him about that too. Just like what you've said, nothing else matters as long as we are together."

"Thank you for taking me back again. I thought you would really get out of my life."

"Just out of the house. Hehe."

"Are you sure you don't want me to live here?"

"No. I don't want the tables to be turned. If you live here and you won't come home, I would feel betrayed and cheated. It's better this way. You still have some of your clothes anyway. You could stay and sleep over some time especially when she's away but you'll have to go once she gets back."

"It's okay. I'm fine with this if it's what you want. At least, I'd have a reason to be away from you so I could miss you more."

"Ugh so cheesy. Stop that, it doesn't suit you."

"Wae? I am baby cheese so I am really cheesy."

"Being cheesy baby cheese won't earn you points though."

"But I was the one sore! And even if I am sore, I could still walk perfectly. Kaja love."

"What kaja?"

"It'll be my turn."

"Ya who told you that I agree with what you want?"

"There's no need for that. We'll eventually get naked anyways."

"I only want to cuddle though."

"Okay. Let's cuddle then." Taemin gave a tight, assuring hug to Jongin and of course, he can't help but rip his lips open because of his smile.

"Taeminnie.."

"Why didn't you call me love?"

"Just like what you did before, I would be saying something serious."

"Alright go ahead. Dasi."

"Lee Taemin."

"That's so serious then. Go on."

"Let's get checked tomorrow."

"Checked for what?"

"You know.. fertility tests." Taemin's face lightened up as he thought that Jongin is ready to build a family.

"Sure love! Let's do that tomorrow."

"Yes love. And after we get the results, we could do our best to get healthy. So maybe after one or two years, we'd have our own doll."

"Oh my gosh, you make me happy! Ah, now I am excited. Yes from now on, no fast food, no preservatives, no microwaved food, less salt, less sugar, all real food. We'll also detoxify okay?"

"I also want to get us tested for another one.."

"What is that test? Blood test?"

"Kind of. Actually, I want both of us to get tested if we're clean of STD. Of HIV."

"Sure. I'll also be happy with that."

"I just want to be sure. I am not doubting you or anything. Promise. This is only for our awareness."

"No it's fine. Well I should've done that earlier but I was scared and a bit.. ashamed? Because I am alone. But since I would be doing it with you, I'll go for it."

"Thank you, love. I love you so much, Taeminnie."

"I love you too, Jonginnie."

 

Indeed, Taemin and Jongin got tested both for fertility tests and HIV tests. While they were anxious of waiting for the results, they went for an ice cream first.

"I hope that my body is recovering well."

"Actually, I was surprised that you wanted to have a fertility test. Do you want me to give you another angel soon?"

"Not really anytime soon but I want to start living healthily. I am 25 now and in the next few years, I'd surely have my own baby so I want to help myself by eating right. I want my body to be ready for baby's arrival. Maybe not too soon but at least all will be well when the time comes I could give enough nutrition and care because my body is in the perfect state."

"I like that mindset. Actually love, guess who I met last week. It's my first crush in high school."

"Omo, is that by any chance Jihoon sunbaenim?"

"Bingo."

"Oh wow! The two of you must've been so surprised to see each other again."

"We were really surprised. But what's surprising is that he's carrying a 2 year old baby girl. After a while, his wife, Taehee sunbaenim arrived with a 9 month old baby boy. They look good as a family, and I can't help but think of us like that in the near future."

"So.. you really saw me in your future?"

"Yes of course! I told you I have plans, you just have to trust me. I have plans for you, for me, for us and our next babies. It makes me feel happy thinking about it."

"Aw. You're too sweet." Jongin hugged his love back with a tear line on his cheek.

"Why are you crying, love?"

"I'm just also happy. I never thought that you're serious when you told me that you have plans. Now you're also telling me that you see me in your future. It's too good to be true for me. Thank you so much."

"Ssshhh don't cry. How about we get some stretching?"

"Stretching where?"

"There. Down there. Stretch it for me so we could start making our little angel."

"Ya we're not at home! Aigoo jinjja."

"Okay. You said that! Later when we arrive at home."

"Ya ania!!"

_(Taemin pleaded Jongin with his dancing so eventually, he agreed to having sex after they got their results of being safe)_

 

Jongin have finally received all the photos from Yifan and he was so shocked on what he saw. It was really Naeun with a Korean pimp, at a bar in Macau when she told Taemin that she'd visit her relatives.

"So relatives my ass! You do not go out to drink with relatives, especially flirt with them, kiss them and get them fuck you. Tsk."

"I also got to talk to one of her previous sugar daddies. His name is Lee Seunghyun, a Korean-Japanese tycoon. That man is big in business; expanding a chain of restaurants not just in Japan but also in Korea and Thailand. When he threw a birthday party at a private island overseas, Naeun was his main chick."

"This is unbelievable."

"And to also help you out, I was able to get some of the names of men she slept with. At least, the famous ones. Well there is Lee Seunghyun, Jung Ilwoo, Ahn Jaehyun, Yong Junhyung, Lee Gikwang, Yoon Doojoon, Kim Taehyung, Kim Hanbin and Kim Myungsoo."

"So they are only the few famous men? And the ordinary citizens aren't listed yet? Whoah. What a whore. There's no wonder she got that disease. Now I am not surprised anymore."

"Actually there's also another one. Choi Minho."

"Oh? Choi Minho? Is that person the soccer player of the National Team? Devils?"

"Yes. Soccer player Choi Minho."

"Woah. That guy is also something. He is Taemin's ex too."

"So he went on a relationship with both? Aigoo."

"Aigoo indeed. What's up? Why the fuck is this happening?"

"One thing's for sure. She isn't true to Taemin."

"Well that is something I'd get really furious about. She have forsaken Taemin since he had an affair yet she's going out to get fucked and get paid. Well at least Taemin fucks me because of love unlike her who gets fucked to earn money.. What a dirty bitch."

"What do you want to do then?"

"Are you free by the time she goes back here? Still not sure when but I would ask Taemin."

"Yes I am on spring break. Want me to help you with her?"

"Uhm a video call would do though."

"No, I insist. I would go here. Video call won't help much. What if she hurts you? No, I would go there."

"I really thank you for this, hyung. I'll see you then."

"No worries."

 

The day that Naeun went back to Seoul came and after a few hours, Yifan arrived back to Korea. Jongin told Taemin to not get bothered by Yifan's presence because he'd sleep at the guest room. Taemin insisted to stay and sleep beside Jongin so he could be sure but he went to go back to his house since Naeun is getting frustrated again.

 

Yifan found a way to lure out Naeun by telling her that he got her contact information from Park Jaesang. Naeun was willing to go as soon as she saw the handsome man waiting for her.

"So where do you want to go? And how much are you willing to pay?"

"I'm a model in China. I am paid well and I think I could afford as much as 2 years."

"Omo, would you like me to be exclusively yours? We could do some arrangements for that."

"Park Jaesang told me that you've done that with CEO Lee. Can I have the same deal too?"

"Terms of payment?"

"By check. Monthly. How much is your rate?"

"15 million won per month"

"Alright. I got 5 million here. Let's go." Naeun was surprised when she was brought to a bar with a VIP room.

"You should've told me that we'd go here. I should've changed my clothes."

"It's okay, you'd shed those later anyways."

"Oooh. I like that."

"Cheers." They drank a little before Jongin came into the scene.

"Hey! Kai how are you?"

"Hi Kris. Oh. You've got a friend here. Your name?"

"Marcella Son."

"Oh Marcella. I'm Kai, Kris' friend."

"Oh so your name is Kris?"

"You don't know each other yet? You should've introduced yourself before anything else."

"Shut up Kai. Haha so what's up?" Jongin and Yifan knew that their plan is going well since Naeun started drinking cocktails.

 _"This bitch. Taemin told me that drinking alcohol is prohibited for her condition and yet she's here, drowning in alcohol as if there's no tomorrow."_ Jongin thought to himself.

"Woah there. I didn't know that you'd drink it all."

"I have to get ready for later. Don't worry, I have high alcohol tolerance."

"Okay."

Jongin started to execute his plan when Naeun got tipsy.

"Kris, how's the deal with CEO Lee?"

"It went well. I bought some stocks and then he also handed her over to me. She used to be Lee Seunghyun's pretty princess but she's mine now."

"I wonder how much Park Jaesang would get. How much is it?"

"She told me it's 15 million won per month."

"Oh she got a pretty high value huh? But I'd still prefer Son Gain anyday. She's so sexy and you know how mature and experienced she is."

"I am friends with Gain. Would you like me to call her?"

"No it's okay. I'm fine. Hyuna is also good. Have you tried being with her? She really likes getting photographed naked. It's her kink, also doing it in public."

"Oh so you had it before with Hyuna?"

"I just took some of her shots for a magazine. She could be a porn star, really."

"Seo Woo is also okay. I mean she's good and she have a great big butt. And those boobs. Ah. I want to see her again. Ah Naeun ah, can we change the period? I'll just take a month with you. I'll take Seo Woo on the next 11 months then my babe Lee Chaerin for a year."

"Why? You don't like me anymore?"

"I just don't want to get entangled with someone in a relationship. My friend Taehyung is your boyfriend, right?"

"Uhm.. how.."

"Here. Ya Taehyung ah, I'm here with your girlfriend."

"Enjoy."

"He's such a cool boyfriend right? But I really thank you for this day."

"Don't thank me. We haven't fucked yet."

"Oh yes."

"Ah Kai have you already talked to Taemin?"

"Taemin?"

"No I haven't. He's still busy cooking, you know. Maybe later we'll meet up. He told me he's engaged. I wonder how his fiancée looks like." Jongin teased Naeun and he saw how her face changed when he mentioned Taemin's name.

"Well maybe I should go with you. Or maybe not because I'll surely enjoy every minute with princess Naeun."

 

Naeun and Yifan kissed and Jongin's plan is going really well. Jongin purposely called Taemin since he's on his break but have told his love to just play along.

"You're coming over? Kris is here. Why don't you take your fiancée with you?"

"Love, what are you even saying.."

"Okay okay, we'll wait for you here. Yes I have contacted Gain for tonight. How about you? Eish no need to hold back. That's fine. Alright we'll wait for you here. Bye Taemin." Then Jongin send a message of 'i'll explain later' to Taemin.

"Kris, sorry to interrupt you two.. He's coming. He'll be here in a few minutes."

"That's good. I miss going out and having a drink with Taemin. Ah have you told him to take his fiancée with him? So there won't be troubles later on." Naeun's eyes widened when she heard that Taemin is coming so she somehow fixed herself even if she's half drunk.

"Excuse me, I'll just go to the bathroom." Jongin and Yifan smirked. Of course as planned, Jongin followed her.

When she went out of the bathroom after fixing herself, she bumped into Jongin who's wearing a different shirt and having a different hairstyle that she didn't realize that Jongin and Kai are only one person.

"Sorry, please let me pass."

"Oh. Who would've thought, of all places, I'll meet you here, Son Naeun."

"You are -"

"Kim Jongin. The guy that Taemin lured before when he was with you. Ah, I could still remember how Taemin kissed me that time. He was so hungry for my lips. Eotteokhae? What should I do if he likes me that much?"

"You wench! He's not after guys! And we are engaged!"

"Engaged? Oh! Engaged. Congratulations but I never thought that being engaged would also mean having another boyfriend named Kim Taehyung while being one of the high-valued chicks of a pimp named Park Jaesang. And on top of that, you also became CEO Lee Seunghyun's main chick."

"How did you -"

"Simple. Yifan."

"Yifan? I think I heard that name before."

"Still don't get it? Kris Wu. He is Kris Wu Yifan. Plus the guy he is with."

"That guy named Kai? What the -"

"I never thought you're so brainless. That Kai guy is me."

"What?!"

"You still haven't figured out when I called Taemin? Should I call him now?"

"You bitch!! I told you to stay away from Taemin!! We're engaged!"

"Yes you are engaged but you're still getting fucked by different people and getting paid for it! You called me a bitch and a whore back then but who's talking now?! Should I tell you the names of the men you slept with? Your pimp Park Jaesang, CEO Lee Seunghyun, Director Jung Ilwoo, Doctor Ahn Jaehyun, Musician Yong Junhyung, Dancer Lee Gikwang, Blogger Yoon Doojoon, Producer Kim Hanbin, Casting Director Kim Taehyung and actor Kim Myungsoo. Did I miss anyone famous? I counted off the ordinary citizens as consideration since it might be your charity work."

"How did you-. Andwae."

"Ah! I remember! Korea's National Team Member Devil Soccer Player Choi Minho. Yes. Taemin's ex. And guess what? I got your pictures with them too, thanks to my wide connections. Well anyways, I hope you are aware that I know your secret now and if I want to blow your engagement off with Taemin anytime, I have enough evidence."

"Please don't. Please don't do this to me. I beg you."

"You're begging me now as if I am the protagonist. Well to tell you honestly, I was never the good one. I am a big sinner. I am no saint and I do not have the right to judge you but if you are doing something deceitful to people I know and love then I would have to cut your horns myself."

"Please please don't. Just give him to me. I am sick, I won't last long."

"If you are really sick and if you won't last long then why are you still doing this?! Why are you drinking when it's also killing you?! You're someone who point fingers to Taemin when he got in an affair yet you are out getting paid and fucked by lots of men, also having a boyfriend named Kim Taehyung while you're saying that you're engaged with Taemin! How can you be so selfish?!"

"I wanted to have everything in the world at least before I die! I want to have it all because I am indeed selfish!! I want to be cared for, I want to be loved and I want to enjoy everything before it ends! I know it's too selfish but couldn't I have it for the meantime, at least before I die? Besides, this is the only way I could forget that I am sick and dying. Why can't you just let me be?"

"Tsktsk. Woah. Too bad Taemin got entangled in your mess. Joah. Go on with your life and live however you want but I want you to know that Taemin shouldn't be blamed for your misery. You're the one responsible for your own life. Do not ever point fingers and blame someone for something you allowed to happen. That is your choice. Go home or get laid by another man, I won't care. Yifan and I would be going."

"Jjamkkan."

"What now?"

"You won't tell Taemin?"

"It depends on my mood."

"I forgive you."

"What?"

"For being with Taemin when he was still with me. Just please, don't tell him."

"You're telling me not to tell him so he'd be trapped on marrying you? Wow, you only really think of yourself."

"Please, I beg you. Please."

"If you make everything right then maybe I could keep my mouth shut. I love Taemin and as much as I could, I'll protect him from getting hurt but I won't let him be blinded by lies. He deserves the truth."

"I know you love him so just let him be with me until I'm gone. When he's free again, you could take him."

"What am I? An angel who would sacrifice my love so you'd be happy, for you to die happily? Sorry but I am not an angel. I'll do what I want, go and do whatever you want but I'd protect Taemin no matter what."

_(Naeun with Korean pimp Park Jaesang)_

_(Naeun with Korean National Football Team Member Devils Soccer Player Choi Minho)_

_(Naeun with Korean-Japanese Restaurant CEO Lee Seunghyun)_

_(Naeun with director Jung Ilwoo)_

_(Naeun with music producer Yong Junhyung)_

_(Naeun with dancer Lee Gikwang)_

_(Naeun with foodie blogger Yoon Doojoon)_

_(Naeun with casting director Kim Taehyung)_

_(Naeun with actor Kim Myungsoo)_

_(Naeun with music producer Kim Hanbin)_

_(Naeun with doctor Ahn Jaehyun)_

 

Jongin went out of the bar fuming with anger that his companion Yifan have tamed him down by giving him ice cream.

"That fucking bitch. Ah jinjja."

"Let her be. Let her suffer and don't let yourself fall into the pit of wrath."

"It's frustrating and suffocating to have Taemin entagled in her miserable life. I really feel bad for my love. Eotteokhae?"

"I'm also trying to think if you should tell Taemin or not."

"I am so fucking torn hyung. I want to save Taemin so he could be mine but if I do that, I will take away that girl's dream and happiness. I do not know how Taemin became her happiness yet she goes out doing those kinds of things."

"It's actually a mind breaking scenario. Now it's a fight between your conscience and happiness."

"It's a battle of happiness actually. My happiness or her happiness. Either way, someone would have to suffer."

"Now that you mentioned about which happiness, I think it would all get fixed by knowing about Taemin's happiness."

"What do you mean?"

"Jongin ah, I guess it's time for you to ask Taemin on who he would choose. You or that girl." The day that Jongin never wanted to come is on it's way and it can't be helped anymore. Time is running out, everyone have to decide on whose happiness would be granted.

 

_얼마나 많은 아픔과, 얼마나 많은 고통과, 얼마나 많은 눈물이 그대를 견뎌냈을까? 얼마나 많은 아픔과, 얼마나 많은 고통과,  얼마나 많은 미움이그대를 아파하려 들려 했을까?_

_Eolmana manheun apeumgwa, eolmana manheun gotonggwa, eolmana manheu nunmuli geudareul gyendyeonaessulkka? Eolmana manheun apeumgwa, eolmana manheun gotonggwa, eolmana manheun miwoomi geudaereul apaharyeo deullyeo haesseulkka?_

_How much pain, how much suffering, how much tears will you endure? How much pain, how much suffering, how much hate that hurt you would you have to hear?_

_-'I'm Sorry', Gummy (미안해요, 거미)_

 

Jongin was too frustrated so he took Yifan to Jongdae who also got infuriated with Naeun's deep, dark and dirty secret.

"I think it's better if you won't tell him directly, Jongin ah. Let him discover his 'fiancée's unfaithfulness."

"Then who will tell him if I won't tell him straight?"

"I think you should just at least make him pick up some signs? The two of you could go to the place Naeun goes to when she's with someone else. Or you could contact the men she previously slept with. Something like that."

"Ah this is so absurd. I am really getting mad that I could kill. It's okay for me to get hurt but if it's Taemin, hell would break loose because I would drag that person to hell."

"Chill Jongin ah. Chill. Jjamkkan, I'll get you some milk."

"Why milk?"

"Ah. Jongdae hyung, he doesn't know yet. It's my favorite drink. It's the reason why I'm tall. You should know that, you're also 6 feet tall."

"Ah haha yeah."

"No that's not it. It's for his well being. For his bones. You know this guy well."

"Let's stop that hyung. Ah jinjja thank you for the milk."

"No worries. Just to remind you, do not stress yourself over that person. They're not worthy." Jongdae patted his cousin's dropped shoulder.

"Yeah. That Taemin and that Naeun. They are not worthy to get stressed on and they are not worthy to die for. Come on Jongin ah, you know yourself. You should know your worth and you should at least know when to fight for it and know when to give up."

"Why should I give up when I could see light at the end now? Only one blow of me telling Taemin everything would end them!"

"But will you really do that? Kill her yourself?" Jongdae have pulled up a good question that Jongin himself doesn't know how to answer.

"I won't kill her. She's the one killing herself. She did that to herself and she obviously allowed everything to happen. What will happen to her later on because of what I'll do, it's not my entire fault anymore."

"Sl you really want to save Taemin so bad?"

"Yes. He deserve the truth."

"You deserve the truth and peace more. It'd be better if you save yourself. You don't even know who Taemin would choose between the two of you." Yifan is very worried of Jongin's welfare that he can't himself but question his plans

"Jongin ah, I'm afraid that you'd really have to ask Taemin to choose once and for all."

 

Jongin was getting crazy on thinking about what he'll do and what he should feel, especially Taemin wasn't coming to his unit and isn't responding to his messages.

"Fuck it I'm really done. How could I ever tell you the truth when you yourself can't even spare some time for me. What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He was furious that he threw his phone on his bed. He was not just furious, he was mad and full of all the wrath in the world. 

 

Weeks passed with Taemin not sending a message until one night Jongin was greeted by a kiss on his cheek.

"Taemin?"

"Hello."

"Goodness why did you have to make me wait?! I'm so worried of you!"

"Sorry. I lost my phone and I went away for some time. I just got back."

"You went away? Where did you go? Why didn't you tell me? You should've told me so I wouldn't get worried."

"Telling you about it would just hurt you. Just forget about it. It's fine, I'm back now."

"Kaja, I'll buy you a new phone."

"Ania, no need. I already bought a new one."

"Okay. Make sure to reply to my messages okay? Please don't do that again. Don't make me worry. I was mad as hell, I'm going crazy thinking about you."

"Yes I will. I can't stay here too long but maybe I could have an hour or so. Can we make love? I miss you so much."

"Join me here."

Just like what Taemin told Jongin, he only stayed for less than 3 hours and went back home after he came inside Jongin. It was a very sensual sex but what Jongin have planned to tell Taemin was all forgotten.

 

_sarangeun hanttae. sarangeun ibyeolgwa hanpae. ibyeoreun sarangeun derigo ganne. sarangeun hanttae. sarangeun ibyeolgwa hanpae. ibyeoreun sarangeun derigo ganne. beorimyeon beoryeojineunge sarangiramyeon eolmana joheulkka? (modu kkuminde ni soneul jabeun geon) wonhamyeon eodeojineunge sarangiramyeon eolmana joheulkka? (modu kkuminde naneun beoseonaji motane) heeojiji motaneun yeoja, tteonagaji motaneun namja. saranghaji annneun uri geuraeseo no no no no no no. sarange mukkineun namjaneun yakhae ppajingeolkka? sarangeul gurmgineun namjaneun muneungnyeok hangeolkka? bimireul sumgineun namjaneun na ppuningeolkka? sarang daeche wae byeonhane ungeolkka?_

_Love is passing. Love and heartbreak are one and the same. Hearbreak takes love and goes away. Love is passing. Love and heartbreak are one and the same. Hearbreak takes love and goes away. How nice would it be if love was something that could be earned? (It’s all a dream, holding your hand) How nice would it be if love was something to get by wanting it? (It’s all a dream but I can’t escape) The girl who can’t say good bye, the boy that can’t leave. The two of us are no longer in love so no no no no no no. Are men caught in love weak? Are men starved of love not worthy of it? Are men that keep secrets bad men? Why is it that love changes?_

_-'the girl who can't break up, the man who can't leave', Leessang (헤어지지 못하는 여자, 떠나가지 못하는 남자, 리쌍)_

 

Jongin have sent lots of messages to Taemin's new contact number but only a few replies were received, only a few visits have been made and it became hard for Taemin to go and be with Jongin. He wasn't really busy with his work as a chef, it was because he is taking care of Naeun. The girl got sick with Tuberculosis a few weeks after her encounter with Jongin and wasn't able to get well, since her disease is shutting her immune system down slowly. Taemin was hands on with Naeun so much that his time for Jongin have been reduced, making Jongin doubt Taemin's love for him.

_(Naeun at the hospital as she was diagnosed with Tuberculosis)_


	12. The Forgotten Toy

°

Jongin is standing at the crossroads now; Taemin has changed a lot not just with his communication but also his physical drive. Taemin only fucks Jongin seldomly when back then, he was addicted to fucking him that they had sex multiple times a day. A few months ago, it got reduced to twice a week, once a week, once every two weeks, once a month and once every 2 months. And lately, Jongin even waited for 3 months before Taemin fucked him again and after that, he left as if he paid a whore right after they're done.

It's not just their love language that changed, but also Taemin's enthusiasm when he's with Jongin. He seemed to be uninterested, too sleepy, irritated and sensitive that Jongin thought Taemin is just forced to be with him.

Jongin have formulated lots of questions on his head that he'd like to ask to Taemin the next time he comes over.

_"Do you still want to see me?"_

_"Are we still together? I might be the only one who didn't know so please tell me."_

_"What am I to you?"_

_"Do you still love me?"_

_"Do you still want me in your life?"_

_"Did you finally got to choose, and you choose her but can't tell me about it because I'll get hurt?"_

_"Do you still care about me and my feelings?"_

_"If you don't want me in your life anymore, please tell me and I'll gladly let you go."_

But then when Taemin is around, he was only able to ask a stupid question:

"Love, are you okay? Are we okay?"

"Um. Wae?"

"Do we have problems? Care to tell me anything?"

"I'm okay. We are okay. I'm just.. not in the mood."

"Sure?"

"Just busy. Not in the mood. Just like that."

"I wanted to see you so bad so I went out of my way to meet up and yet it seems like you don't want to see me. I can feel it, you know."

"I'm just tired."

"Oh. Okay." Jongin shook everything in his head and believed that everything is alright between him and Taemin until he got some news from his stalker friend Yifan.

"Guess who's out to have a trip with his 'fiancée'?" Yifan sent a photo of Naeun and Taemin on their trips. They went to the beach, to some overnight parties, to an exclusive resort in the woods, arranged the birthday party of their niece and went to malls. Practically everything a couple would do, they did it together. Jongin on the other hand, felt betrayed.

"So all these time that I was worrying, he was out enjoying. Okay, I got it all now loud and clear."

"Jongin ah, I don't want you to get hurt but you have to wake up to this. Even if you haven't asked him, he have already decided. He have chosen her over you."

"Thanks for that, even though you don't need to slap that on my face."

"I'm so sorry."

"Well I've seen this coming, and I've felt how I slowly lost him to her. I saw and felt it all, I wanted to save it so bad but he himself isn't even trying to fight for us. I guess you're right. Maybe he have already decided. Maybe he was just waiting for me to give up on him and let him go." Jongin couldn't take it all so he burst into tears while he was still on video call with Yifan.

"I don't want you to get hurt. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I wanted this and I've allowed it to destroy me. It's no one's fault but mine. It's okay and just like what I've said, I've seen this coming. I'm quite ready but I wish it wouldn't happen yet it's here now."

"What's your plan?"

"I don't know. Maybe I would just have to pack my things and go far away. If he have already decided then it means I have to plan my graceful exit from his life."

"Jjamkkan. Are you, perhaps going to do what I did before?"

"It's funny. Yeah, it's the only way. Maybe I'd just have to leave him without saying a word."

"You know how much it hurts you before. Don't do the same mistake that I did. Learn from it too."

"Actually now, I kind of got your point. Now I understand why you did it. You only wanted to save yourself back then and now, I'm at the crossroads. Maybe that's what I needed too. I need to save myself too."

"As much as you'll hurt him, you'll be more hurt!"

"Tss I'm so addicted to pain, it won't be any different with what I've been through with him. I think it'll be fine. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure about that, Jongin?"

"I have to decide for myself and for my life since he won't give a damn on me anymore."

 

_neo geurigo nae gamjeongeul mitji motae. jeongiraneun geon eoneu sae nal gaduneun jokswae. i gamok aneseo mwongal haebogetdaneungeoya? geurae neomu uisimman pumgo neol daehaetdeon geon na. geugeon injeonghajiman imi neujeotjanha. ije waseo ireomyeon neoe. ije waseo ireomyeon neoege hutnal useuun namja. ga doelgeoraneun geol geurigo bandaero, nado neol jonjunghaji motalgeoya. geureoni ije geumandwo good bye. neoui saenggak deuri nal himdeulge hago, neoui geurimjareul nan beoseonal su eobseo. neoran saram wae ireoke itji motaneunji? babo gateun nan oneuldo hayeom eobsi neoreul bulleo.._

_I can't trust you nor my feelings. Attachment is a chain that traps me. In this prison, what can I do? Yes, I doubt you a lot. I admit it but it's already too late. If I come now though, I would become a laughable man to you. Also, I won't be able to respect you. So now I quit good bye. Your thoughts are making it hard for me, I can't escape your shadow. Why can't I forget someone like you? Again today, the foolish me calls out to you endlessly.._

_-'Trap', Swings feat. Yoo Sung eun (트랲, 스윙스 유성은)_

Jongin have planned his graceful exit with the help of his older brother Heechul and his husband (and his ex) Siwon, who have offered him a job in San Francisco. He wanted to go as far as the other side of the world so he and Taemin would never get to meet again. He have experienced being left behind before, he never thought that he would leave the one he loves the most - because that 'love' doesn't love him anymore.

He remember how it all started to fade away. Taemin seemed too excited to be with Jongin but he felt how it slowly decreased. Not just with sex and companionship but also with attention, affection and appreciation. Sometimes or rare times, Taemin tells Jongin that he misses him yet when they get to meet, he looked like he doesn't want to see him or be with him that Jongin felt like he's a waste of his time. There were times that Jongin would ask for a hug but Taemin would decline as if hugging Jongin is gross, or it's too cheesy. His kisses also decreased, even goodbye kisses were given forcefully. Jongin got a bit used to it, as it's been a very long time since the two of them sensually kissed. Taemin would even decline Jongin's kisses during sex especially after giving him a blow so Jongin would just go back to kissing his cock instead. Taemin's last kisses were kind of meaningless as much as it's all forced. Taemin's sweet messages of 'I miss you's and 'I love you's decreased a hundredfold as well, when back in the day Taemin would pepper Jongin with lots of it. But now, 'I miss you's were also forced while 'I love you's became words that he would be surprised to hear because Taemin have long stopped telling Jongin that he loves him. Jongin felt so hurt with what his boyfriend is doing to him, most especially when he never told him that he loves him, whether personally or by messages. He wanted assurance but he was never assured; he was even kept away and set aside.

 

"Fuck haha. I should've known. The day he stopped telling me he loves me was the day he decided not to choose me. You're so dumb, Kim Jongin. You're so stupid and so naïve to ever hope and believe that Taemin still loves you." Jongin's eyes betrayed him as he cried a lot that when he looked at the mirror, he saw a bloated man with seriously puffy eyes. All his hopes and dreams crashed down before him. The future he planned with Taemin, the way they'll live together, how they'll get married and of course, their own kids. **_Kids, babies.. They're all gone now_**.

"Angel, sorry. I guess we have to let daddy go. He doesn't love us anymore.." He cried again as he pitied himself. What did he allowed into his life that he got so devastated? For all he knew, he just let love in but how come this love was the one killing him now?

 

_Cheoeumeneun mollasseo geunyang bappeun jul arasseo. Tteumhaejineun neoui yeollakgwa mannam. Gidarimyeon ogetji, naega ihaehaeyaji hamyeon hal surok deo meoreojyeo gan neo. Nan jejarie seoitneunde ne moseubi huimihaejyeo boiji anha. Nan doraganeun gildo molla geureoni naegero wa eoseo nareul guhaejwo. Modeun ge sunsikgane jeongniga doeneun nal. Jeongsin charigo boni, jeongmal na honja. Babocheoreom ulgo inni? kkeutida saenggakhani? Amu geotdo tteooreuji anha. Nae nuneul chyeodaboji anhneun neo, nae maeumeul irkji anhneun neo. Nae seulpeumeul oemyeonhaneun neo. Saranghae geu mari deutgo sipdeon geon anilkka geureon neo?_

_I didn’t know at first, I thought you were just busy. Your calls and dates with you grew less. You’ll come if I wait, I should understand but the more I did so, the further you got. I am standing here in the same place but you grow faint and I can’t see you. I don’t even know my way back so come here, hurry and save me. On the day where everything ended in a quick moment. After snapping out of it, I realized I was really alone. Are you really crying like a fool? Do you think it’s over? I really can’t think of anything right now. You didn’t look at my eyes, you didn’t read my heart. You turned away from my sadness. I love you – maybe I just wanted to hear those words from you._

_-'Disturbance', BoA (그런 너, 보아)_

 

"We'll still have to do the background check and the assessment if you are fit for the visa you're applying for. You said that you already finished the company interview and is already hired, and would go as soon as your visa is approved?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Alright. We'll let your company know if you would be granted or if you'd be denied. It may take a month or so."

"It's okay, I could wait for it."

"But it's only a 5-year stay, okay?"

"Yes I'm fine with it. I would only be working and I would still go back to Chiba from time to time."

"Okay Mr. Kim. Good luck."

"Thank you so much." After being depressed for almost a month, Jongin tried his luck out with the job Siwon have offered him. Luckily, he was accepted by the company and now, he just finished his interview for his American visa at the embassy.

 

Jongin looked better than the past month as he restarted eating right and getting enough sleep. He may have remembered Taemin with it since it's their plan to go healthy as they're getting ready for a baby but he has to keep going even if it's only him this time. He just made it as an essential part of his new lifestyle, as a part of saving himself.

He have resigned as the graphic designer and artisan cake decorator at the strawberry shop but continued to buy cakes and strawberries there as his anti-depressant foods. He was just so surprised when Taemin went inside the shop while he packed his cakes on the to-go containers.

"Jonginnie! I miss you so much!" With contradiction between his happiness being with his love and his desire to save himself from this fucker, all he ever said was "oh. You're here."

"Why do you look so startled?"

"Wasn't just expecting you to drop by. Yes? Is there anything I could do for you?"

"I'm fetching you since your shift is over. Kaja."

"Uhm, where are we going?"

"Let's go home."

"Ah. Yeah."

 

Jongin drove back home with Taemin on the passenger seat looking good as always but he also gained weight.

"You look like a hamster. Figured that you eat a lot of your cooking and you didn't exercise."

"Ah hehe. Yes. I've got to eat a lot."

"You ate a lot but didn't eat healthily. You must've forgotten what we talked about."

"What?"

"Nevermind.. Ah joahtda. The cherry blossoms are out. How romantic."

"Want to take some pictures?"

"No. It would just make it hard for me later on. It's fine."

"Huh? You're saying something?"

"What? I said there's no need. I've seen lots of cherry blossoms my whole life. It's normal to see them especially it's spring so there's no need to take pictures."

"I miss you, love."

"Suddenly calling me your love and suddenly telling me that you miss me. What's up?"

"I just really miss you."

"Ah. Okay."

"You didn't miss me?"

"I do but I can't be all giddy. I'm driving."

 

Just after Jongin placed the cakes and strawberries inside the fridge, Taemin got him and roughly kissed him.

"Jjamkkan.. let's take it slow."

"You know I don't take it slow. Kaja, love." Jongin submitted to Taemin's touch and just like what he thought, Taemin only wanted to have sex. Maybe he was too tired to jack off and now that he have the opportunity to fuck Jongin again, he gave all his energy that he also got knocked out afterwards.

"Tsktsk. It's really the same as picking up a whore and fucking them then passing out afterwards. I'm pretty sure it won't be long before you wake up and go home fast." Jongin sighed as he took a shower to clean his body especially his legs that's dripping with cum from his cum-filled femme hole.

Of course, just as Jongin predicted, Taemin hurriedly went home as soon as he got awakened, leaving Jongin alone again, fully aware that he have to wait for countless days before Taemin comes back to take him again.

_jamkkan sairo nunmuri ssodajyeo, naega ireoke yeminhanji nado mollaseo. sabangi da keomkeomhae wiheomhae. ijeoyadoe hamyeon seodo andwae. So will you love me? Nal jom saranghaejwo, can you love me, baby? Long time, long time, long time, eolmana gin siganeul apa haeyaman halkka? saranghandago malhaejwoyo nae mami gireul irhji anhge. areyonhan gieok nohchiji anhge. naega baraneungeol.. Can you love me? Can you love me? Naega maeum da sobakhaeseo. Saranghae hanmadie, modeungeol da juge doeneungeol. So will you love me? saranghanda anhanda geudae maeumi. saranghanda anhanda gunggeumhaejwo. saranghae hanmadie, modeungeol da juge doeneungeol. So will you love me?_

_Tears spill in between moments, I didn’t know I was this sensitive. It’s dark all around me, it’s dangerous. I say I need to forget but I can’t. So will you love me? Please love me, can you love me baby? Long time, long time, long time, How much longer do I have to get hurt? Tell me you love me so my heart won’t get lost, so I won’t lose my memories. What I want is.. Can you love me, can you love me? My heart could easily fall so just at the words “I love you”, I will give you everything. So will you love me? In love or not in love, your heart. In love or not in love, I’m curious. So just at the words “I love you”, I will give you everything. So will you love me?_

_-'Can You Love Me?', FVE DOLLS (사랑한다, 안한다, 파이브 덜스)_

 

Jongin doesn't have a job and doesn't have a life that he ends up bugging his cousin Jongdae at his mini studio by bringing him some dishes they could feast on.

"What's your plan now? Are you really going away?"

"I'm just waiting for the result of the interview at the embassy. If I would be granted, I would go. If I would be denied, I'll just go back to Japan."

"You won't tell him about Naeun anymore?"

"Well I had the chance but I forgot to raise that topic up."

"Didn't want to spoil the mood, I guess?"

"Maybe. And he seemed to be always in a hurry when he's with me. He despise spending time with me now."

"That's fucking rude."

"I know but I'd just have to endure everything until the judgement day."

"But aside from forgetting to tell him, do you even have a plan to tell him about it? At least in the future?"

"I don't see any reason to tell him about it anymore. He seem to be firm with his decision and I can feel that he have already chosen her without saying anything. You know, gut feelings and animal instincts. There's no point in telling him about it. It'll be very useless and I would just look so pathetic. Are you asking because you thought I would tell him so he would come back to me and choose me over her instead?"

"Kind of. Hehe."

"Hehehe even if I am evil, I still have a heart and this heart have grown tired and numb until it was turned into a stone. Besides, I'm not too desperate to do that. I wouldn't cling onto that pitiful love especially Taemin was the one who made me feel that I can't do anything about us. I've accepted it all now. Taemin doesn't love me anymore, he's gone away with his love and I have to live my life without him."

"That's our Jongin. Very strong."

"Not really 'very strong', hyung. I'm just very tired. Ani, maybe your Jongin have been very sick and tired of it all."

 

After their sudden fuck night in spring, Jongin received a message from Taemin after almost 2 weeks of no communication.

"Jongin ah, are you busy? Are you free tonight?"

"Sorry, won't be able to accommodate you tonight. I'm sick."

"Alright. Tell me when you're okay so I could visit you. Take care and get well soon. I miss you."

"Um." Jongin have declined Taemin for the first time since they've been in a relationship and Jongin have felt a bit of pride and achievement that he was able to resist Taemin.

It's only more than a week before their 2nd anniversary and Jongin received another booty call from Taemin again.

"Are you free this Saturday? I'm quite sure that you're not sick anymore."

"Tell me your schedule then maybe we could meet up somewhere."

"Alright."

"Do you have a shift on the holiday? We could go and pursue our swimming plans since last year."

"Let's find a resort or swimming pool where I could fuck you. That'd be fun."

"I'll see if I'd be able to find a resort nearby."

"Screw that. Let's not swim. Let's stay in bed the whole day instead."

"But I want to swim though."

"I don't want anyone else to see your body. That's mine."

 

It's already Friday but Jongin haven't received any message from Taemin yet if their Saturday plans would push through, so Jongin assumed that it won't happen. He went to the company office outlet in Korea and checked if he passed the US Embassy interview.

"Congratulations, you passed the interview! You'll be able to get your plane tickets here next week."

"May I know when would be the departure day to San Francisco?"

"It would be on next week Thursday, July 11th, 7pm kst."

"Alright. Thank you so much!"

 

The Saturday plans didn't push through so as soon as he got home, he got his clothes packed on the luggages the company provided. He would bring all his clothes so he have to sell everything, including the unit. He got the appliances sold to his former employees, gave away some of the things that isn't as valuable since he made up his mind to leave Seoul and sent back some of the things he can't let go to his older sister Ahyoung's house in Chiba until he's down to just the single burner stove that he would bring to San Francisco and a sleeping bag that he bought so he could still sleep comfortably while waiting for the day of his departure.

"Are you sure you'd be selling the unit and the car? You've had lots of memories with Taemin there."

"Hyung, that's the reason why I'd be selling it. I'll do that. I'll do that one thing I should've done 2 years ago."

"That's too sad. But I'm happy for you because you're now really decided to leave everything behind and live a new life. But never forget me okay? I would make sure to leave skype open. Or if I'm not online, you could send me messages. I'll read them as soon as I get online. Ah, I'll miss our Jongin."

"Ya why are you like that, hyung? You'll be making it hard for me to leave."

"Oh. Alright. I don't want you here so leave quickly."

"You're so mean."

"I'm just joking. Hehe. As long as you'd be happy and you won't forget me, I'll be happy for you too. Don't worry, the money would be deposited to your account once your car and unit gets sold."

"Thank you, hyung. Also, don't forget what I've told you."

"Yeah. Never tell Taemin where you went, not even a single clue. _'Jongin doesn't have skype, Jongin doesn't have facebook, Jongin doesn't have a phone and Jongin doesn't want to be with you anymore so you have to deal with it.'_ Right?"

"Ah! Also _'Don't bother to make an effort to find Jongin. Just live your life happily with your wife. He wishes you love.'_ "

"Is that even a wish?"

"Yeah. It took a lot of courage for me to take those words out of my mind and I'm sincere because finally, after 2 years, I'd let him go and he'd be with that love he have been with for more than 8 years. It may still hurt me but hyung, I really have to let him go." Jongin couldn't hold his tears back so Jongdae was on the rescue to console him by a hug.

"Be strong. When you get to leave, you'd surely be thankful to yourself that you're now free from being his toy."


	13. The Last Memory

 

Taemin came to the place Jongin told him to go to. Taemin is happy to finally spend a whole day with Jongin and of course, have sex as much as they want especially Naeun isn't around again. What's even better is it'll be their 2nd year anniversary tomorrow.

"Oh. It's nice here but we could've just stayed at your place. We could've just stained your sheets and wash them together.."

"I'll have the unit revamped today so workers would surely be there. Do you want to give them a live show?"

"Oh alright. Haha. Gosh Jonginnie I really miss you. It's been more than a month. I asked you out a lot of times but it wasn't really ideal for us. So today would surely be a blast! Right, love?"

"Um." Jongin started to kiss his love and the hungry wolf Taemin didn't hold back. He took off all their clothes then got his cock ready. Jongin laid down as Taemin thrusted in and out of him. They also did doggy style, legs on shoulders, spooning and all the positions they have imagined with Taemin's cum all released inside Jongin.

"Woah. That was intense!! 3 rounds in 2 hours."

"So you made sure that you're loaded for today, huh?"

"Yep yep yep. All for you. You know how much I love seeing my cum dripping out of your femme hole. It only means that you are mine."

"Give me all you've got. I'll take it all even if I won't be able to walk properly tomorrow."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes love. Give it all to me." Jongin got fucked real good by Taemin with all his cum released inside Jongin until they fell asleep. When they woke up, they ate and then continued to fuck again. They rested for quite some time by massaging each other like how they did before but it made them aroused again so they continued until they fell asleep when it's already morning.

"We only have 3 hours before checkout. Let's go, love." Taemin is ready for a new round as soon as he opened his eyes.

"Uhm Taeminnie?"

"Yes love?"

"I want to ride you. I kind of enjoyed it."

"Ride me? Okay! I'm perfectly fine with that." Jongin went on top of Taemin. He slowly sat down on the proudly standing big cock and leaned over Taemin so he could kiss his lips. Jongin bounced onto Taemin's cock and his love looked so pleasured. The way Taemin panted, moaned and groaned were music to Jongin's ears as his tight walls squeezed his love's big and swollen cock.

"Ah, it feels so good! You're a pro at riding!"

"I'm a rider in real life."

"Uhm Jonginnie, would you mind if we make it faster?"

"You'll help me? Okay."

"Alright. Get ready for the ride of your life. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Taemin. Happy 2nd Anniversary." Jongin kissed Taemin while Taemin hugged Jongin closer. Taemin bucked his legs up and thrusted in and out of Jongin as fast as he can. Jongin felt Taemin release his cum inside him. After a few rounds of cock riding, they stayed that way while kissing deeply.

 

Before check out, they took a bath together. Taemin gave hickeys to Jongin's neck, chest, shoulders, side abs and thighs while Jongin planted his last soft kisses to every corner of Taemin's body so they saw all the marks when they lathered each other with the shower gel. They ate lunch at the buffet before Taemin kissed Jongin goodbye, since he'd have to go home. Jongin kissed Taemin deep, sweetly yet bitterly, for the last time before he leaves him for good.

"See you soon, love. I love you. Ah, Happy 2nd Anniversary!"

"Check your phone, I'll send a message later. 6pm."

"Alright noted. I love you, Jonginnie."

"I love you so much, Taemin. **_But it's time to let you go._** " Jongin wanted to cling onto Taemin but he knows that it's pointless so he just helplessly watch his love go home to his _girlfriend/fiancée_ , and Taemin walked away from his love not knowing that it'd be the last time he'd see him.

"Jongin, I'm already here by the parking lot of Gimpo Airport."

"Yes I'm on my way. I just set Taemin off."

"That must've been so heartbreaking.."

"Hyung, it kills me to see him for the last time. It hurts so much!" Jongin was crying on the phone while he was on his way to the airport.

"But you've already decided, remember? And staying with him wouldn't be good for you. You've gathered a lot of courage to do this and there's no turning back. Be kind to yourself. I think two years is too much to be just your best friend's toy."

"Yes I know. Even if it hurts so much, I'll have to endure. But honestly, the pain I'm feeling now is like gathering all the pain I've felt before and feeling it over again, all at the same time."

"Trust me, you'll be able to endure it all. Think of yourself first. For once, don't think of Taemin's feelings when he never cared about yours."

Jongin and Jongdae met at the departure area as the older cousin got his luggages using his own car that is up for sale so he could say goodbye to his baby too.

"Fuck you. Why did you tugged that car with you at this time? Ah.."

"So you could say goodbye to him one last time."

"Aish fuck you, really. Ah, sorry Cha but I have to let you go. You've been a good boy to me and we have a lot of memories. Ah jinjja I can't really do it. Hyung, jebal. I've been crying a lot since he went home and now my car is making me cry."

"I bet you'd cry harder if I take you to your unit."

"Ania andwae!! I'm determined. Sorry Cha but I have to let you go too. Thank you for taking me to places I never thought I'll go to, and thank you also for making me and my passengers safe everytime we drive. I hope you'd be able to find a new owner who'd take care of you and love you as much as I do. If I'll see you and your new owner when I get back, I'll say hi. I won't ignore you, I promise. I love you so much, continue to be a good boy. Ah jinjja Kim Jongin, why are you crying because of a car?"

"You're such a crybaby. Well you have to move and get your luggages checked in so you'd be able to board on time."

"Hyung, thank you so much for everything."

"You told me this isn't goodbye for me. You'd only be going for a 3-year vacation. And we'll have video calls and exchange messages right? I won't forget that. Just make sure to make time for me too. Take care there and give me a message the moment you step onto San Francisco Airport. I love you and I'll miss you. Hyung would always be here for you. Always." Jongin couldn't say anything because of too much tears so his hyung just hugged him before he got pushed inside the airport.

"Hyung, I told him 6pm. You could send that to him exactly 6pm."

"Ok!! Take care and stay safe always!" Then Jongin went to live his new life with enough courage and love for himself.

 

Taemin went out of his family house to wait for Jongin's message especially Naeun would arrive anytime but he was surprised when Jongdae pulled up using Jongin's car.

"Jongdae hyung?"

"Yup. Uhm, special delivery for you, from Jongin. I'll have to go. Goodluck."

"Jjamkkan hyung!" Then he saw something strange on the car's rear windshield. He didn't know if his eyes are fooling him but he think he saw a 'For Sale' sign.

Taemin's heart pounded fast because of nervousness on what Jongin's gift to him is. He opened the box and saw Jongin's phone, with their photo from this morning as the screensaver and wallpaper. There is a video icon on the home screen that says 'play me'. He played the video and it was Jongin with the same clothes he wore when they checked in at the hotel so he assumed that he made the video just yesterday.

"Hi Taeminnie. If you are watching this video, it means that Jongdae hyung's special delivery has been successful. You might be surprised by this gift but I have more gifts in store for you." Jongin presented all the things that Taemin gave him as a gift, and some that Taemin randomly bought for him.

"You see, I got the hoodies you gave me. I'll cherish this forever thinking that it is you who's keeping me warm. Even if it was very unexpected, I was very surprised when you gave those gifts to me. Thank you for this." Jongin smiled at the video but after a few seconds the mood became serious.

"Actually, I do not know where and how to start. Maybe with sorry, thank you and I love you. Sorry because I've kept my feelings hidden for a very long time. Sorry if I made you feel things you shouldn't feel. I'm sorry if I pissed you off and made you angry at me. Sorry if I've been a bad boy by hurting you lots of times by words, not caring about how you'd feel upon hearing them. I'm sorry, I've been selfish that I only wanted you to be mine and not share you with anyone else. Sorry if I hated your love so much that you learned to love her more and I'm sorry if I only got to realize this now. After 2 long years, we've experienced almost everything. We had it all and there were times that we almost lost everything. We held onto our love by getting stronger everytime we were challenged by things around us. Sorry if I depended on you too much that I am not me without you; that Jongin cannot stand alone without Taemin. I'm sorry that I've been your bestfriend yet was the last to know about the things you didn't want to share, and I'm sorry for being a brat in asking you why you didn't tell me about it, and feeling betrayed during that time. I'm sorry if I thought that being your bestfriend means I'd have to know everything about you, when it's your choice if you want to tell me about it or not. I'm sorry if I lack so much. I'm sorry for all the shortcomings and for all the faults I didn't fix that you ended up loving her and choosing her instead of me. I'm sorry if I pushed myself too much to you, and for insisting you to choose me when it's clear that you already chose her." Taemin paused the video as he got confused.

"Why does this sound like a goodbye video? Ah jinjja." He played the video again and listened to each of Jongin's words carefully.

"I don't know if I've told you all the things that I'm sorry about but now, I want you to know about the things I'm thankful for. Of course, I'm thankful that I've met you in this lifetime, when I was still a little kid in glasses that was called nerd. You stood by my side and befriended me as you comforted me and told me that they're the weird ones. Thank you for all our memories in school. All the mixology laboratories and of course when you cook delicious food. Thank you for always getting some for me so I'd be sure to taste everything. When we got to work together, thank you for motivating me, for keeping me sane, for encouraging me and for comforting me. Thank you for the hugs and the ice cream that you paid for during that time. Thank you for the steak that you have spared for me when you wanted to eat it so bad since it's your favorite. For the best Pad Thai in the world, for making sure that I'd eat on time so you eat with me, by going home with me, and for taking me home especially when I was dead drunk. Thank you for trusting me, for doing your best efforts in making me smile when I'm sad. Thank you for the rough and hard fucks, the kisses, the hugs and sex itself. I'm thankful that I gave my virginity to my love when I could've just give it away to someone else. Thank you for staying with me, for bringing out the best Jongin and for loving me while it lasted. Sadly, that love eventually faded away and little did I know, I don't know you anymore. Our communication became seldom; when we see each other, you look bothered, pissed or unpleased. When I told you that I miss you and I love you, you never told me otherwise. _'I miss you'_ s became _'I miss fucking you'_ and then there's no more _'I love you'_ s. You became distant to me and you got closer to her by going around dating and travelling with your whole family. Even if I've been very jealous and envious of her, I couldn't do anything. Even if she posts a lot of hateful comments about me, you only believed her. You went out on dates with her while you were embarrassed when you're with me. You love to take pictures with her while you get mad when I take stolen shots of you so I'm really sorry if it took a very long time for me to realize that you don't love me anymore, that you're just stuck with me because I kept clinging onto you and because I am your best friend, and that you'd wanted to be free and let me go yet you don't know how and what to say, or you don't want me to get hurt. I get it all now so I'll do the honor to let you go. Finally after two years of being the 2nd place, I realized that I'd never be _the one and only_. It's a wishful thinking and a dream too good to be true, so I have to wake up, open my eyes and face reality without you. I saw the signs, the countless signs you gave long ago but was only able to understand it lately. Sorry, I was just blindly and stupidly in love. I wish you well, I hope you'd be happy settling down with Naeun. I wish you love and all the love I wasn't able to give to you, since I was never enough. I hope you'd have a harmonious married life with your real love. I can't do this anymore, so I'll break up with you. I'm pretty sure that you'll feel better from now on, knowing that you finally got rid of me. You must've been annoyed of this long video but don't worry, this would really be the last. This would be the last time I'd say sorry, thank you and I love you, Lee Taemin, even if you're not sorry, even if you're not thankful and even if you don't love me. It's okay, I love you anyway but from this day on, I'd have to bury that love, leave it all behind and forget you. I love you more than my life, Lee Taemin but I guess my life is over. Goodbye."

"Jjamkkan. What is this?" The robot and expressionless kid Lee Taemin started to shed tears as the video ended.

Taemin went to Jongin's unit but was stopped with a 'For Sale' sign. He got the number and dialled it but realized that it's Jongdae's number.

"Hyung, where is Jongin?!"

"I don't know. He just gave me the box and told me to give it to you. Wae?"

"Jongin is gone! His unit is up for sale! Where did he go?"

"Mwo? I thought he'd be having an event for you since it's your 2nd anniversary, that's why he told me to give you the box. I'm sorry to hear that."

"Mwoya. What's happening? Ah. Oh my gosh. Jongin.. No. Jongin shouldn't leave. I can't live without him."

"From now on, you have to start living without him though."

_Saranghaji malgeol geuraesseo. Jeong juji malgeol geuraesseo. Butjapji malgeol geuraesseo. Wae ireohke na honja apa? Nan hangsang neomanwi jang miga dwiryeodeon nae mameul ani? Ije jogaknan sarangwi machim pyoga dwaetdaneun geol. Nunmuri millyeowa memareun ibsuri jeojeo. Ije eotteokhae geudael ijeulsu eobseo. Geunaldo biga wasseotji. Hanchameul geudaen mal eobshi, nareul bara bogiman haesseo. Heundeulli neun nunbitgwa aesseo jitneun eosaekhan misoga ibyeoreul yaegi haejweo. Nabogo tteonarago hal ttaen eonjego tteonan danikka eojjeogo michin saram chwigeup manhae. jeongmal himdeureo boy, slow down. Amureon maldo mothan chae ureo, cuz I want to stay. Next to you, my love is true. Wanna go back to when I was with you. I miss you, I need you. Kkum sogeseon ajikdo I'm with you. I miss you, I need you shiganeul dwi deollyeo wanna kiss you again, my boy. Mami neomu apeunde, gyeondigi gwiro unde. Neoneun eodiseon mweol hani? Na ureosseo cham manhi. Neo eobshin nan mossareo. Naegero dorawajweo nal tteonagajima. Neo ttaemune manhido ureosseo. Neo ttaemune manhido useosseo. Neo ttaemune sarangeul mideosseo. Neo ttaemune, neo ttaemune, moduda ilheosseo. Jeongmal dap dap daphae, gap gap gaphae, mak mak makhae. Neo eobtneun sesangi nae malmameul sshibeo nohgo, jajonsim jit balba nohgo, nae mameul jjijeo nohgo. Wae nareul tteonaga?_

_I regret giving you my love. I regret getting attached to you. I regret holding you back. Why do I have to face the pain alone? I tried to be your only one but did you ever understood my heart? Now it became the compass of broken love. Tears are flowing down and it soaks my dry lips. What should I do, now I can’t erase you out of my mind. It also rained on that day. You’ve stared at me wordlessly, you’ve stared at nothing else but me. Those trembling gazes and the awkwardly forced smile speaks of our separation. You’ve told me to leave and the moment I left, you treat me as if I’m insane. It’s just too hard, boy slow down. Then I cry silently and wordlessly cause I want  you to stay. Next to you, my love is true. Wanna go back to when I was with you. I miss you, I need you. Even in my dreams, I’m with you. I miss you, I need you. Rewind back the time, I wanna kiss you again my boy. My heart aches, it’s too much to bear. Where are you? I've cried a lot. I can’t live without you. Please come back and stay with me. I cried a lot because of you. I laughed a lot because of you. I believed in the love because of you. I’ve lost everything because of you. I’m frustrated, suffocated and lonely. The world without you have chewed my heart out, stomped on my dignity and torn my heart apart. Why did you leave me behind?_

_-'Because Of You', After School (너 때문에, 애프터 스쿨)_

Taemin was drained after crying a lot. As far as he know, it's the first time he cried so much in his life, especially he almost called himself a robot or someone who doesn't really cry no matter how tearjerking a moment is. He was so devastated that when he went bacm home, his eyes were so puffy and his whole face got swollen. He was a total mess, but more than that he is a total wreck.

"Taemin, what's with your face?" His brother, who's taking care of his second daughter asked him but he was just silent.

On his way home, he bought lots of alcoholic drinks for him to drown onto. He also filed an indefinite leave at the restaurant he's working at as he's not sure if he could cook with an inappropriate mood. He doesn't want to compromise his cooking or he'll get fired if the guests complain about the unpleasant taste of his dishes.

He was on the verge of passing out because of alcohol when Naeun arrived. From where, he doesn't know; because he doesn't give a damn.

"Seriously Taemin? You're drinking? Wae?"

"Suit yourself. Just leave me alone."

"This is the very first time I saw you drink a lot. You can tell me, I'm your fiancée."

"You must be very happy now that you won. You have me as your fiancé and no one would ever try to take me away from you. No one would save me from my misery, my loneliness and my damn fucked life."

"So.. did that guy broke up with you? You don't have to lie, I know that you're still seeing him."

"Since when did you know about it?"

"Just recently."

"You don't have to pick up a fight anymore, he's gone. He broke up with me and left."

"He.. he did that?" Naeun was happy that Jongin gave up and left instead of telling Taemin about the truth and her infidelity, including her side job.

"Yes. Go ahead and celebrate, you won't get to feel that I'd be cheating on you again. Jongin is my life, my heart, my soul and my future. Without him, I'm practically dead. Go ahead and do whatever you'd want to do to me, I won't care anymore. I'm as good as a person who would be dying real soon, I may even die before you do."

"Taemin! How could you say that?! How could you be so insensitive! You know that I'm sick and dying yet you're saying that as if it's a joke?!"

"Because that's what I feel!! When the love of your life leaves you with just a video for a memory, what will you do? I have planned everything for our future.. I thought that we're okay and he'd always be with me whatever happens but he's gone! He went away when we just spent time with each other since yesterday until this morning!! Hell, today is our 2nd anniversary!! All of my dreams, my plans with him.. it's all shattered!"

"So finally, you've felt the pain that I've felt before. It'll destroy you. But then I see.. you really love him, huh?"

"He's the only person I've loved so much. And even if he's gone and it hurts me, I still love him. I'm sorry if I'm seriously insensitive. Curse me, kill me, it's fine but Jongin.. I really can't live without him."

"You're so mean. Hahaha. You're lucky that he loves you so much too. He's a good person, actually."

"Now you're saying good things about him. Woah, the world have seriously turned upside down."

"When you have time, go with me. I'll show you something. Something that the guy you love have taught me."

"What the fuck?"

"I was so mean and bad to him but I was able to see the reason why you chose to love him instead of me. He has a heart of gold, and he gave up on you so I could have you until the end."

"Jjamkkanman. Ya, did you somehow met him and told him to get off me so you could have me as your prisoner? Is that what you did?! So all this time, Jongin was forced to break up and run away from me because you told him about your condition?! What the fuck!! You even threatened him just to have me by yourself?!"

"Keep calm and yes, I told him to do that! I told him to just leave you so I could have you by myself but he had me under his fingertips too! I will explain when you're sober enough. But don't get me wrong, I may be happy to finally have you for myself but I also realized why you love him and made him as your life! I got your point because I've felt like that before too!"

"Aish I don't know. Just leave me alone! Get out of my sight!" Taemin's head was filled with so much alcohol, love for Jongin, longing for him, wrath for Naeun and confusion with what she have told him so he just drowned himself with the remaining alcohol until he got knocked out.

While he wasn't on his right mind, he went to Naeun's room and nudged her while she was removing her makeup.

"Wae? What's your problem?"

"That thing you'd want to do. Let's do that. Not sex but the other thing."

"What?"

"Get married. That'll be my gift for you. Besides, I'm good as dead. I'll accept to be your prisoner."

"Taemin.." Naeun is happy because Taemin would finally marry her so she didn't waste any time and they registered their marriage before he changes his mind.

A week of alcohol filled days have passed and finally, Taemin came back to his senses to pick himself up so he could go back to work. He decided to just get himself busy with it and also started to take care of his body and health. He flushed all the alcohol from his system because he's hoping that when he gets better, Jongin would come back to him. He knows that Jongin wouldn't want him to get miserable but even if he's still miserable in pain of heartbreak because of him, he endured. He also did some self-reflection by watching Jongin's goodbye video numerous times and took note of the reasons why he left.

"He got too tired of being the second best, being the one I would go to just to have a good fuck then left him as if he was a whore I just paid.. he was feeling worse but all I did was set him aside. I didn't even asked him how he's feeling.. maybe I got too selfish, too egotistic, too obssessed and just too lustful that love went long forgotten. I got too 'sincere' with giving all my attention and affection to Naeun and I have unknowingly ignored him until he felt that I chose her. Maybe that's where it went wrong, he really felt that I don't love him anymore so he packed his things up and left." Taemin got emotional again with his realizations. This time, he is fully sober so the pain is worse.

He went to Jongdae to get some words of advice and of course, Jongdae who is a full blown Team Jongin fed him with all the things he needed to hear.

"That's true. He felt that you don't love him anymore. All the things he have been through with you were nothing because he was showered with your love but when you got cold, you only wanted to get pleasured and when you put him aside without even trying to ask how he's feeling, he felt that you don't love him anymore. And worse, he thought that you chose Naeun over him because of that."

"But I never chose Naeun! I only wanted to do good things to her because she is sick!"

"But Taemin, even if you have the best intentions, you eventually ended up hurting Jongin. Well, his situation was never ideal in the first place. You made him your side chick and loved him in secret when all he did was love you with all his heart, mind, body, soul, reality and future. He gave you everything you needed and more than that, he even sacrificed his own welfare for your sake. He loves you so much that his love for himself got drained too. I know you love him, but at some point when Jongin needed assurance, you failed to show it. He also told me that you've changed a lot not just in acts of intimacy but also with words of affirmation. With that, he undoubtedly thought that you don't love him anymore."

"This is really insane. Ah jinjja."

"That's your reality, you have to live with it and learn from it."

"Hyung, please help me. I want him back. I can't live without him."

"Taemin, as much as I want to help you, I won't. Jongin needs his time alone. He needs the space, most of all he needs to love himself again when he gave all the love he have for you. He was too drained, suffocated and heart wrecked. Let him be alone and heal for the time being."

"But I really don't want him to be away from me. I mean okay, we could break up but I want to know where he is! At least, I want to know how he's doing, if he's okay and if he's taking care of himself."

"I'm pretty sure you'd follow him if I tell you his whereabouts so no, you won't get a clue."

"Please hyung!! Just the place. I promise I would behave."

"No, just let him have his time alone."

"Hyung, I beg you. Okay. I only want to know where he is now. I promise I won't go to find him or bug him. I will let him be, I just really need to know where he is and how he's doing. With that, I'll be okay. I just want to know what's happening. I'll also try to be fine even if he is far away from me."

"Aigoo lovers in love. If only you've let him feel that when he was still with you, you wouldn't need to get through this."

"Please hyung. Jebal. I beg you."

"But promise me, you wouldn't try to take him back and make him your side chick again. I'd only help you take him back if you'll choose him. I don't want my precious cousin to be hurt with the same reasons again."

"I promise, I'd only take him back when I fix everything, including myself and my choices."

"Okay. Since you're also my friend and since my cousin loves you so much, I'll tell you about it. But keep your promise! Do not ever try to go to him to take him back."

"Yes hyung. I promise."

"That would also mean abstinence from you. Don't ever try to lay him down just for your pleasure."

"I won't, hyung. I promise."

"He's working at Heechul hyung and Siwon hyung's company.."

"So he's here in Korea? Shoot, I have to find him."

"See. I know you can't resist and you'll try to find him. Sorry, he's not in Korea. He went overseas."

"Where?"

"You have to work hard and prove that you are worthy of him first. When I see that you've improved, I'll help you with him. Get better first then we'll talk again. It's getting late, you should go home now."


	14. The Spark of Hope

Months have passed and Jongin was able to adjust with the time difference and food menu in San Francisco. There were lots of asians working at the company so he didn't get too homesick, except when he's talking to Jongdae.

He struggled at the first month of his stay since he experienced unusual body changes. Because of jetlag and a new body clock adjustment, he gets dizzy easily. There are some western foods that he cannot eat (though he was able to have a taste of it before when he was in college, during their International Cuisine cookfest) and he is seriously craving for rice and kimchi. Food cravings got the best of him like how it is during PMS and the least he could do is to stuff himself with ice cream and strawberries, his favorite comfort foods plus chocolates, cheese, lots of potatoes (since rice is available only at the asian stores and he is too lazy to go out) and lots of milk. With that, he also gained weight but there were times that mornings were too hard for him especially when he gets up from the bed only to head to the bathroom and vomit some of the food he ate. He suddenly thought of a very similar scenario so he went to get checked at the hospital.

 ** _"Mr. Kim, here are the results. Congratulations."_** was all he heard as the medical intern ushered him to an asian obstetrician-gynecologist doctor.

"You must've been aware of your condition lately. You'll be able to get through it, you just have to take care of yourself more. But you and your baby are both healthy. You're 8 weeks pregnant and I suggest that you get checked every month so we'd be able to track your progress, and we could give you some prescriptions so you won't be prone to miscarriage again."

"Thank you, doctor. But this case.. is this a bit new to you?"

"You don't have to worry, you're with the doctor that specializes with sensitive conditions especially for femme males like you. And I have encountered lots of cases before, then also helped them give birth to their little ones."

"Oh. Thank you. Yes, I would surely make time to visit every month. Thank you so much."

"No worries, Mr. Kim. Congratulations again."

Jongin went home with a floating mind, still not believing that he was able to bear a baby again when he lost an angel before. The sonogram boasts his full name **_Kim Jongin_** with a declaration of _**'8 weeks pregnant'**_ plus the heart beat count of his baby. Tears of joy went out of his eyes as he silently thanked his first angel for helping him have a new reason to live.

 

He was able to adapt the rough changes on his body while making sure to eat everything nutritious and take all the suppliments he need so he and his little angel would stay healthy.

"Hyungaaahh!! I miss you so much!!" Jongin was all smiles as Jongdae accepted the video call.

"Jongin ah how are you? Oh? You look blooming than ever. What's up? Found a new love?"

"Actually yep! Aside from eating healthy, I was surprised but kind of expected it in a way before. I found a new love and a new reason to live and continue life. Here." Jongin got the sonogram by the webcam and Jongdae rejoiced.

"Kim Jongin. 8 weeks pregnant. Oh my gosh I would be an uncle soon!"

"Ssssssshhhhh. Hyung, you should keep this as a secret okay? You know how sensitive my condition is."

"How about your work? Have you told them you're pregnant?"

"They're fine with it. Since I'm past 2 months, I'd have to work at home until the 6th month. I'll go back to the office until my 8th month then would be back to work at home before the 9th month. Then 'maternity' leave for 3 months. Everything including the check-ups, the car service and maternity diet allowances would be provided by the company."

"That company of Heechul hyung and Siwon hyung is a big hit huh? You're very lucky!!"

"If you want, I could tell them to take you here so we could be together and you'll be able to see baby."

"As much as I want to, I can't since I have my studio here. Besides, your unit and car is not yet sold."

"It's okay, I'm not rushing to sell it."

"Oh alright. Jongin ah, sorry to say this but Taemin is-"

"You don't have to tell me hyung, I already know."

"Know what?"

"They finally got married right? So I was really the only one holding him back in marrying her."

"Sorry if I opened up the topic of him but-"

"It's okay, I'm already over it. Besides, baby doesn't want to hear anything about his dad as well so I do my best not to think of him."

"I wish you'd be able to meet someone who would love you as much as how you love Taemin.. or maybe even more than that."

"I'm not rushing into things. My priority is this little bundle of joy coming out to the world soon."

There are times that he'd think of Taemin but he chose to distract himself by going out to the parks, to malls and to eat out on different restaurants while he can, while his baby bump is not yet too obvious. But still, when it's confirmed that Taemin got married to Naeun, his heart hurts so much. He got tears in his eyes but he is not sobbing unlike before, though he got tears of disappointment. He also have a lot of things on his mind, some _'what if'_ s and some _'if only'_ s.

_What if he didn't leave Taemin? Would he still be happy?_

_Would Taemin leave Naeun if he knew that he got him pregnant?_

_What if he told Taemin about Naeun's infidelity, would their problem get solved?_

_If only he would know the answer to all his what if's,_

_If only Taemin is with him now, he would be very happy and his life would be complete._

_If only it wasn't so complicated, their love would've been so real and true._

_If only Taemin chose him.._

The sun would set soon so he went home after looking upon the breathtaking Golden Gate Bridge.

"It would be nice if my heartaches would be taken down as the sun sets. Please help me, please take the pain away so I could get a hold of myself and my life, so I could get through all this alone." Jongin sighed as he caressed his little baby bump.

_urin gounjeong bodan miun jeongi deo manha. maennal ssaugo myeochil dongan anbwa. geureohge urin seoro wonhaet deonge manha, saranghaesseu nikkan eobseumyeon mot sarasseu nikka. ni mome nan jeom meogji motaneun geo, neowa ssaugo hwahae kiseu hago punjeog, unjeonhal ttaedo soneul kkog jabasseot deon, geumodeun geosi dasi saenggagna. jamsirado gyeote eobseumyeon buranhae. neoreul bonaego tugha myeon meonghae. byeonhae ganeun sesangi sirheo, neoui gieogeul eogjiro kkeonae. ireum eolgul useum hyanggi. niga naege namgin chueogi neomu manha. niga naege namgin yeong honeun ajig nama. sara sum swieo ireohge nareul chajawa sarang iran dugeul jaro da butwo. nae nunmul nunmul nunmul. tto dasi nunmul nunmul nunmul. sori eobseo tto i don’t wanna know. nae gieogeul da beonji gehae. jobeun golmoggil sai honja nunmul. nuga bolkkabwa mollae heullin nunmul. yaghae jiji anheuryeo balbeo dungeul chiryeoda nae nunmul. jibap gyedangil arae honja nunmul. niga alkkabwa mollae humchin nunmul. yaghae jiji anheuryeo balbeo dungeul chiryeoda nae nunmul.._

_We have bad attachments rather than good attachments. We fight and go for days without seeing each other. We wanted each other so much because we loved each other, because we couldn’t live without each other. The freckles on your body, the food you can’t eat, when we kiss and made up after fighting, when we tightly held hands while driving, I remember all of those things. If you’re not next to me for a moment, I get nervous. After letting you go, I easily get blank. I hate the changing world,  I forcefully take out your memories. Your name, face, laughter, scent gave me so many memories. There is so much soul that you left to me. They come to life and find me but I crush them all with the word love. My tears, tears, tears. Once again, tears, tears, tears. Again, silently – I don’t wanna know. It smears my memories. Alone in tears, between narrow streets. In case someone sees, I secretly shed tears. I try so hard not to become weak with my tears. Sit alone on the stairs in front of my house in tears. In case you find out, I secretly shed tears. I try so hard not to become weak with my tears._

_-'Tears', Leessang (눈물, 리쌍)_

With Jongdae's words, Taemin was motivated to be a better man worthy of Jongin in the future but it didn't stop him from trying to get some answers to his questions : where is Jongin, how he is doing, is he eating well, is he hurting like him, does Jongin still love him and did he went away just because of Naeun's condition.

He did his best to look for Jongin's personal file to have his home address in his home country. Luckily, he was able to find it so he immediately booked a flight to Tokyo via Narita Airport to personally ask Heechul and Siwon about him.

5 months since Jongin left, Taemin found himself at the streets of Kitazakae in Urayasu, Chiba and rang the doorbell of the house that says ' **キム** ' (Kim). Good thing it's not yet too cold and he knows how to read hiragana, katakana and kanji, of course with Jongin's help so he was able to find their home after some street detours.

" _hōrudo shiteiru watashi wakite imasu! (hold on, I'm coming)_  Eh? Taemin ssi?"

"Ahyoung nuna? Yura? Yes it's me, Taemin!"

"Oh!! Taemin! Woah, it's been so long! How are you? Come in, welcome to our home."

"Would it be okay to go in? I'm sorry if I'll bother you. You must be busy."

"No, it's fine. I'm working at home while taking care of my daughter. What brings you here in Japan?"

"Uhm. I'm sorry nuna, I did wrong. I hurt your brother so much. He left me and went overseas. I still don't know where he went and how he's doing. It's been almost 2 months and I'm worried. Please help me."

"Ah yes I heard that Jongin left Seoul. So you want me to help you with his whereabouts?"

"Yes. I tried to get help from Jongdae hyung and he told me Jongin is working with Heechul hyung and Siwon hyung's company. I thought that he's working at their company in Korea but he told me that he's working overseas. I'm hoping that he's here in Japan though. I want to be with him so bad."

"Uhm, oppa's company are spread out in different countries. I've receive calls from Jongin himself but I'm not quite sure which country he is in. Maybe I could take you to oppa's place tomorrow but take a rest here first, you must've been tired from your trip going here. I'm quite impressed, you still remember our house."

"I actually got a little lost. I thought that it's on the other street. It changed a lot through the years."

"Yeah and you're lucky that you found our house after all those years. Well you came in at the perfect time, I just finished cooking some snacks. Let's eat first."

"Nuna, you told me you have a daughter?"

"Yup. She's still sleeping. It's okay, after a few hours you'll get to meet my baby even if she's not really a baby anymore. Jongin's very spoiled niece Rahee. She's a toddler now and I make her sleep in the afternoon so she would grow tall."

"That's cute. Jongin is blessed to have a beautiful niece from you. And yes, it's really been a while nuna. How are you?"

"I'm fine, it may be hard but I'm still raising Rahee alone. I'm the blessed one actually, because Jongin helps me in raising her. Heechul oppa and Siwon oppa helps too but I made them stop so they could concentrate on building their family. Heechul oppa would be giving birth soon so I want them to just earn for their own baby. Jongin, even if I told him not to, insisted to help me with raising Rahee by paying for her toddler school and her growing up milk. You got a total package, a guy with a golden heart. Sorry if that punk left you but I quite understand him. Sadly, your relationship came to an end."

"Nuna, trust me. I really love Jongin."

"I know and I can attest to that especially you're here, going all out with your efforts just to find him. Well, you are so brave and tough because even after he left you, you still hold onto your love. Sadly, your timing isn't ideal. He told me his struggles and how you're stucked with that woman."

"I'm really sorry if I've hurt your brother a lot. All I need is one more chance to make everything right."

"Yup. One more chance and maybe, one last chance. But before anything else, have you learned anything from the breakup? Because if you didn't learn any, no matter how much you love him, if he comes back to you and you haven't changed or you still haven't made up your mind, you'll just blow it all up again. Taemin, even if I know Jongin loves you, I don't want him to be addicted and used to the pain because of uncertainty and your indecisiveness. I mean, he have given up so much, understood and sacrificed a lot just to keep you. Jongin giving up, leaving you behind and starting a new life without you must've drove him to the edge. Maybe he can't take it anymore so he did it. Tomorrow, we'd go to Heechul oppa and ask him his whereabouts. But don't be too sure, if Heechul oppa doesn't see that you've changed, he won't tell you anything and you'll just go back to Seoul empty handed."

"I got it nuna. I know you love your brother a lot and I understand that you just want to protect him. I'd just hope that I'm grown enough to deserve him again."

Taemin met Jongin's niece Rahee, and was quite happy that he was able to forget his pain of missing Jongin while he was playing with the toddler.

"Kai appa would like you, samcheon."

"Oh really? Do you like Taemin samcheon?"

"Hai! Taemin samcheon joahyo. Daisuki! Kai appa bogoshipeoyo."

"You miss your Kai appa? Samcheon miss your Kai appa too. Manhi.."

"Oh. Daedanhaeyo."(that's great)

"You're so cute. Can you hug samcheon, Rahee?"

"Hai!" The cute toddler hugged him as they watched some child-friendly anime.

The next day, they went to Heechul and Siwon's house in Higashino, with Taemin hopeful that he would be spared by Jongin's protectors.

"Hyungs, annyeong haseyo." Taemin bowed to Heechul with full respect that the pregnant femme male is surprised.

"Oh? Something's fishy. Who would've thought that Taemin would come for our precious baby brother? Have you learned your lesson already?"

"Oppa, don't be too hard on him. He lost a loved one too, though I understand why Jongin left.."

"I know what to do, Ahyoung ah. Don't worry too much. I'll just have to take you to Siwonnie. His judgement would determine if you'll leave and go back to Seoul empty handed or you could have Jongin back."

Taemin was told to go to Siwon's office room and tension have started to form.

"So we have Lee Taemin here, our precious Kai's best friend and deranged boyfriend. Yeah, Jongin's boyfriend who only treated him as a side chick."

"I'm really sorry."

"I'm quite sure that you know me, our past and my connection to his family, right?"

"Yes. You're one of his former flames but eventually got married to Heechul hyung. Either way, you're a member of their family now."

"Yes that's right. My former flame became my brother in law now and even if our relationship may only be platonic, I would still protect him. Just so you know, Heechul and I have offered him the job as a creative director. He's doing well, he was able to adapt to his new culture and environment, on his new workplace on that country far away.."

"Thank heavens he's fine. I was so worried of him. I can't even sleep properly."

"You can count on us, we'd take care of Jongin well. You don't have to worry from now on."

"But hyung, I really want to know where he is. I promise I will behave."

"Jongin told us not to tell you anything though.. but since you went your way and made efforts to come here for that, okay. I'll tell you later because I have to tell you something first. Taemin, do you by any chance know someone named Wu Yifan?"

"Wu Yifan? That's Kris right? Jongin's _'the one that got away'_?"

"Yes. That's Kris. And you met him, right? When you were with your girlfriend in Macau."

"Uh, yeah. Sorry."

"Oh, why are you suddenly sorry?"

"Because I went with her overseas while Jongin was angry at me. He was mad because I just went and did every couple stuffs together without thinking what Jongin would feel when he finds out."

"Nice realizations. And what was her name again? Son Naeun?"

"Yes."

"Well, who would've thought.. that Son Naeun went back lots of times in Macau. By the way, do you even know her past relationships?"

"No, because I'm never interested."

"Well let me give you a rundown of her past relationships as I expose her deepest, darkest and dirtiest secret. First of all, I want you to know that she's a big scale chick of a Korean pimp in Macau. She didn't really get in any official relationship, she just went to play with fire with different men who is willing to pay a huge sum of money just to fuck her. We got a list of the famous personalities she had fun in bed, and the first one was Kim Myungsoo, an actor. She got more from the Korean entertainment industry, namely producer Kim Hanbin, dancer Lee Gikwang and musician Yong Junhyung. With further investigations, we got a video scandal of her orgy with them. You could watch it if you want."

"No, I'm not interested. Go ahead, hyung."

"Oh alright. She got her connections widened by being blogger Yoon Doojoon, director Jung Ilwoo and CEO Lee Seunghyun's main chick for years. When I asked about her value, they say she's worth 15 million won per month. Of course, those guys could afford her so they have played with her for a long time. Not just that, she also got to be famous plastic surgeon Ahn Jaehyun's mistress while pleasuring her pimp Park Jaesang. She wanted more money so she eventually agreed to get laid with him, even if he's already past his 40's." Siwon could see that Taemin is disgusted from what he's hearing so he gave him a glass of milk.

"Keep calm. Drink that first."

"Thank you. Ah ssibal. What a whore."

"So you got Jongin's habit huh? Drinking milk to calm down?"

"Ah yes hyung."

"And for the last explosion, she also got to be with Korea's National Football Team Member, Devil Soccer Player Choi Minho's whore. It was said that she was invited by Minho and his fellow players had a good time with her on their locker room after some game."

"But Minho.. Choi Minho was my ex! How could.. so he liked girls too?"

"I'm not quite sure about that, though. When you get back to Korea, you could ask him. And then, sorry to say, her recent playmate, well until the present day, is casting director Kim Taehyung. We could call him now. Jjamkkan. Oh hello Kim Taehyung ssi?"

"Oh, director Choi Siwon, yes how can I help you?"

"Just wanted to ask, what's your girlfriend's name again? I was actually going to refer her as a model for a commercial film. With that we could look into her portfolio."

"Ah alright. It's Marcella Son Naeun. Actually, she's here. Would you like to speak to her instead?"

"Would that be okay?"

"Yes sure. We could pause for a while and just resume later on."

"Yeoboseyo? This is Marcella Son Naeun." When Taemin heard her voice, he got furious so he just gulped the remaining milk at the glass.

"Oh hello, Miss Marcella Son. We would be having a commercial film that would be shot in a few months time. We would like you to go for a VTR at our office. Would that be okay? We're quite impressed with your experiences. Besides, Kim Taehyung ssi have referred you to us before. We guess that you'd fit with the product we'll be making an ad with."

"Yes sure. I'll be there."

"The schedule would be next week, we'd just send an invite with the exact date and time of the VTR. Thank you for not letting us down."

"Sure. My pleasure. I'd love to work with you. Would you like to speak to Taehyung oppa again?"

"Yes please."

"So it's decided?"

"Yes it is. We'll expect you to be there with her. Thank you so much."

"No worries. Thank you for calling us too. Bye."

"Bye. Satisfied? You just confirmed that your girlfriend is with her boyfriend Kim Taehyung."

"So all this time.."

"She's cheating on you too."

"I don't care if she cheats or what. All this time, she held me captive for nothing? She have cursed me a lot and blamed me for everything that happened to her when she chose to do it herself? What a fucking whore and a very big liar! A selfish one at that!" Siwon got the whole carton of milk out of his mini fridge and pour another glass for Taemin, as if he's pouring alcohol for him.

"Go ahead. I know it's very infuriating. Well, Jongin was so infuriated when he knew about it, and when he witnessed it himself. Kris have helped him lure out Naeun and acted as someone who would buy her. She herself have declared her 15 million won worth and have spent a steamy makeout session with Yifan when Jongin was with them. That explains the time he called you saying that some Gain is coming. Do you remember that?"

"Ah yes I remember that! I even asked him what he's saying and he told me he'll just explain later though he never got to explain anything. What the fuck."

"You're able to catch up now.. And on that encounter, Naeun wasn't able to recognize Jongin until they met outside the rest room. Jjamkkan, we got a recording here. This is Jongin and Naeun's confrontation."

_"Sorry, please let me pass."_

_"Oh. Who would've thought, of all places, I'll meet you here, Son Naeun."_

_"You are -"_

_"Kim Jongin. The guy that Taemin lured before when he was with you. Ah, I could still remember how Taemin kissed me that time. He was so hungry for my lips. Eotteokhae? What should I do if he likes me that much?"_

_"You wench! He's not after guys! And we are engaged!"_

_"Engaged? Oh! Engaged. Congratulations, but I never thought that being engaged would also mean having another boyfriend named Kim Taehyung while being one of the high-valued chicks of a Korean pimp named Park Jaesang. And on top of that, you also used to be CEO Lee Seung Hyun's main chick for years!"_

_"How did you -"_

_"Simple. Yifan."_

_"Yifan? I think I've heard that name before."_

_"Still don't get it? Kris Wu. He is Kris Wu Yifan. Plus the guy he is with."_

_"That guy named Kai? What the -"_

_"I never thought you're so brainless. That Kai guy is me."_

_"What?!"_

_"You still haven't figured out when I called Taemin? Should I call him again now?"_

_"You bitch! I told you to stay away from Taemin!! We're already engaged!"_

_"Yes you are engaged but you're still getting fucked by different people and getting paid for it! You called me a bitch and a whore back then but who's talking now?! Should I tell you the names of the men you slept with? Your pimp Park Jaesang, CEO Lee Seunghyun, Director Jung Ilwoo, Cosmetic Surgeon Ahn Jaehyun, Musician Yong Junhyung, Dancer Lee Gikwang, Blogger Yoon Doojoon, Producer Kim Hanbin and actor Kim Myungsoo. Did I miss anyone famous? I counted off the ordinary citizens as consideration since it might be your charity work."_

_"How did you-. Andwae."_

_"Ah! I remember! Korea's National Football Team Member Devil Soccer Player Choi Minho. Yes. Actually, that guy is Taemin's ex. And guess what? I got your pictures with them too, thanks to my wide connections. Well anyways, I hope you are aware that I know your secret now and if I want to blow your engagement off with Taemin anytime, I have enough evidence."_

_"Please don't. Please don't do this to me. I beg you."_

_"You're begging me now as if I am the protagonist. Well to tell you honestly, I was never the good one. I am a big sinner. I am no saint and I do not have the right to judge you but if you are doing something deceitful to people I know and love then I would have to cut your horns myself."_

_"Please please don't. Just give him to me. I am sick, I won't last long."_

_"If you are really sick and if you won't live long, why are you still doing this?! Why are you drinking when it's also killing you?! You're someone who point fingers to Taemin when he got in an affair yet you are out getting paid and fucked by lots of men, also having a boyfriend named Kim Taehyung while you're saying that you're engaged with him! How can you be so selfish?!"_

_"I wanted to have everything in the world at least before I die! I want to have it all because I am indeed selfish!! I want to be cared for, I want to be loved and I want to enjoy everything before it ends! I know it's too selfish but couldn't I have it for the meantime, at least before I die? Besides, this is the only way I could forget that I am sick and dying. Why can't you just let me be?!"_

_"Tsktsk. Woah. Too bad Taemin got entangled in your mess. Joah. Go on with your life and live however you want to, but I want you to know that Taemin shouldn't be blamed for your misery. You're the one responsible for your own life. Don't ever point fingers and blame someone for something you allowed to happen. That is your choice. Go home or get laid by another man, I won't care. Yifan and I would be going."_

_"Jjamkkan."_

_"What now?"_

_"You won't tell Taemin?"_

_"It depends on my mood."_

_"I forgive you."_

_"What?"_

_"For being with Taemin when he was still with me. Just please, don't tell him."_

_"You're telling me not to tell him so he'd be trapped on marrying you? Wow, you only really thought of yourself."_

_"Please, I beg you please."_

_"If you make everything right then maybe I could keep my mouth shut. I love Taemin and as much as I could, I'll protect him from getting hurt but I won't let him be blinded by lies. He deserves the truth."_

_"I know you love him so just let him be with me until I'm gone. When he's free again, you could take him."_

_"What am I? An angel who would sacrifice my love so you could die happily? Sorry but I'm not an angel. I'll do what I want, go and do whatever you want but I'd protect Taemin no matter what."_

Taemin started to shed tears of anger and resentment. He was so angry with what Naeun have made him, a prisoner of her own misery. He also felt helpless, deceived and betrayed about it, while of course, being regretful that he made Jongin experience too much pain for nothing.

"I'm such a big idiot. So Jongin knew about it? Why didn't he tell me? I should've just let her die.."

"You know the answer to that but would you like me to tell you?"

"Yes. I want to hear it straight from someone."

"He wanted to tell you about it but you started to get farther away from him. Whenever you were with him, he never wanted to spoil the moment so he just shook it all off, hoping that somebody else would tell you about it or you'll find out by yourself. But it didn't happen because a bigger problem tore your relationship apart. He felt that you don't love him anymore."

"Ah jinjja. My Jonginnie.. eotteokhae? This is all my fault. I really did wrong. I made the wrong choices. Ah I'm so frustrated!"

"That's a part of life. Now that you know the truth, what will you do? Would you just let her die? Would you follow Jongin to where he is? Or would you just let it all fall into the right place at the right time while making yourself better and deserving for him while he's away?"

"Naeun is sick, even if she's with that Taehyung, my family and I know that she wouldn't really last long. Maybe I could wait for that while I make myself better and deserving for Jongin's love."

"But would you marry her still?"

"I don't think I'd be able to live peacefully with that but honestly, I've already 'filed' our marriage. The marriage contract was put into shreds though. All that's needed is the 'ceremony' so she would believe that we are married for real."

"Now that you know the truth and the deepest, darkest and dirtiest secret Jongin wasn't able to tell you, your future, her future and his future are all in your hands now. Good luck."

"Thank you for telling me everything, hyung. Thank you for opening my eyes."

"No worries."

"My trip didn't go to waste. Thank you so much, and also thank you for making sure that Jongin is living well."

"Yes of course. You don't have to worry much, he's taken care of. By the way, Taemin.."

"Yes hyung?"

"You don't have to worry, he's doing well in San Francisco. He'll eventually be back here, you just have to wait for him."

"Thank you so much, Siwon hyung."


	15. The New Reason

Taemin arrived back to his room and dove straight, face forward onto his bed. Now, he doesn't know how he would react when Naeun gets back. Would he blow up and take all the anger in the world and curse her? Would he just shake it off and keep it to himself since he doesn't care about her anyway, or would he run away and follow Jongin in San Francisco and just leave Naeun to die alone while also completely turning his back on his brother?

"Naeun-ah, busy?"

"Not really oppa. Wae?"

"You told me before that if I'm not busy, you'll take me somewhere. Where is it?"

"Uhm can we talk somewhere else? I don't want Taesun oppa and Saeeun to hear us." Taemin agreed. He realized that Naeun have swollen lymph nodes.

"Naeun ah, are you okay?"

"Yes I am. Wae?"

"I'm just asking."

"You don't have to worry much." Naeun and Taemin got refreshments before they settled at a park nearby.

"I don't know how to start, I didn't even thought that this day would come but here I am, wanting to tell you what the guy you love so much have taught me. Now, I really understand why you love him. He's a really good man with a golden heart."

"So what are those things Jongin taught you?" Taemin got ready to hear some pretentious words and sugar coated lies.

"I'm pretty sure that you know I've told him to just let you go and take you only after I'm gone but I never thought he'd actually do it. I never thought that he'd really leave you when he told me he'd protect you no matter what. I'm quite thankful for that though, but I have learned a lot from him aside from that. He told me that you shouldn't be blamed for my misery. I'm the one responsible for my own life and with that, I am very sorry. I know I've tried to drag you to hell because of my wrath in the world but I'm sorry, I really do. He also taught me to never point fingers and blame someone for something I've allowed to happen. He said everything that happened are results of my choices. I know I've been bad to the two of you, and I'm extremely sorry for what I've done. I wasn't aware that I'm a poison, a person too toxic for people to handle. I've made myself like that and even if I wanted to change, it's already too late. I hope you'd forgive me, it might not be now but hopefully, someday."

"I'm pretty sure Jongin may have hated you but I know him, he's someone who would forgive no matter how someone hurts him."

"I hope so. I hope that he'd forgive you too, and come back to you. Oppa, I'm also sorry. I've made you a prisoner of my misery, a captive of my selfishness and reason to be rebellous but while I made your life miserable, I wasn't true to you. That Jongin is right, I was someone who have despised the two of you when you cheated on me but I've been doing the same. If not the same then maybe worse than that. Here." Taemin was surprised when Naeun gave him her phone with the photo gallery opened. He saw her numerous photos with the men Siwon mentioned, some photos were the same as what he have in his hands.

"Those men are only a few of the ones who paid me to fuck me real good and hars. It's been my source of living, the very reason I still get to enjoy the goodness of life especially I have more than enough money for my treatments."

"Naeun.."

"Yes oppa. I'm a dirty person. I'm usually called a high-valued chick by my pimp but to make it simple, I work as a prostitute. The 'relatives' that I visit in Macau isn't related to me. They are new customers lined up for me to entertain and pleasure. Being a chick is fun, I get paid for millions of won every time and enjoyed the goodness of sex, even though it hurts sometimes. I get high too, by drinking lots of alcohol, smoking lots of cigarettes and doing drugs. I also met lots of famous personalities and those men I was on the photos with are some of them. It was like I was living a rebellous and liberated life. I also met my boyfriend and former customer there. Sorry oppa, but I do have a boyfriend."

"Kim Taehyung?"

"How did you know?"

"Just figured. I think the latest photo was with him?"

"Ah yeah. As much as I am sorry for cheating on you when you just married me a few months ago, I can't leave him. Oppa, for the first time after being broken from you, I've finally felt love. I think I'm in love with him."

"That's good then. You have someone to love and somebody who loves you too."

"Would it be okay if I leave you as well? I want to be with him soon."

"Yes sure. There'd be no problem."

"I'm sorry." Naeun removed her 'wedding ring' and gave it to Taemin.

"Would you like to nullify the marriage? I have connections at the Civil Marriage Registry."

"That would be great, oppa. Thank you for accepting it coolly."

"No worries. I wish the two of you well." Taemin smiled bitterly. He didn't love this girl, he never even wanted to be with her but upon hearing that she wants to leave him after Jongin have left him, he got emotional again.

"Jongin is gone, now Naeun wants to leave too. So I am really bound to be single this year?"

 

Naeun have felt that she had been very burdening to Taemin so she left him and stayed with Taehyung, not even caring about their 'marriage' that ended just a day before their 100 days.

Taehyung took care of Naeun when she was diagnosed with Renal Tuberculosis when she already have Pulmonary Tuberculosis, and since he have the money, he told her to stop being Park Jaesang's chick. Naeun didn't really want to, but eventually stopped especially her body started to get weaker.

****

3 months after they parted ways, Taemin found out about Naeun's condition and volunteered to look after her whenever Taehyung would have to go home to take a bath and cook.

"How are you feeling?"

"It may not be obvious but I am happy. Thanks to you, I got to feel it."

"What?"

"Forgiveness. Thank you so much, oppa. How about you, how are you?"

"I'm okay. Don't worry and just get better. Taehyung is rooting for you."

"Thanks. Did he come back already? I mean Jongin."

"No, not yet. I don't know until when but I'm still waiting for him."

"Do you know where he is?"

"Yes. He's in San Francisco."

"Oh. You already have the information, why don't you go and find him there? If you'd really want to be together, you'd find a way, right?"

"I'm afraid he still wants to enjoy his time alone."

"What if he isn't? What if he's also waiting for you to come and take him back here? What if it's a test to see if you really love him?" Taemin was torn but deep inside his heart, he really wanted to go overseas and take Jongin back with him.

"But his brother told me to just wait for him."

"It's up to you. In the end, it'll still be your judgement. You'd be the one missing him anyways. Endure it while you can then."

"But you've got a point. Thank you so much." He smiled at Naeun as she settled herself for her afternoon nap. When Taehyung arrived, he excused himself and left to schedule an appointment to the Embassy of the United States.

After 2 weeks since his appointment at the embassy, he found out that Naeun have more issues on her health, especially on her reproductive system. Since he and Naeun have finally become friends, he became worried of her condition. He continued to stay by herside just like before, until he got the letter from the embassy.

"Ah. I'm nervous."

"Well if it's approved, you should go immediately. If it's denied, maybe you are bound to wait for him. Come on oppa, open it." Taemin didn't need to say anything, sad look was written all over his face as he threw the envelope to the empty couch.

"Maybe that's destiny. It's not meant for you to go there. Maybe it's not yet the time but don't worry, you could wait for another 3 months. If you'd get to apply again, maybe you'd get the approval you've wanted and maybe after those 3 months, you'd be able to see him again."

"Yeah. Maybe it's not yet our time. But I seriously miss him. I miss everything about him and just the thought that he's near and he loves me makes me happy. Now that he's gone because he left me, I am also uncertain. What if he went away to completely forget me and he already fell in love with someone else? What if he already met someone because I didn't go after him when he went away so I would take him back? I really don't know.. sometimes I'm losing hope."

"Who would've thought that Lee Taemin would experience the pain of unknown and one-sided love? But I know that you know him. You are best friends since you were kids right? Do you think that he'd just throw it all away and love someone else just 8 months since he left?"

"I really don't know anymore. As much as I want to keep my hopes up, it also tears me down."

"Ah! How about his cousin? The one who went to your house before.."

"Jongdae hyung?"

"I don't know the name but you could contact the cousin. You could ask him if Jongin already have someone else. At least, you'd know if you'd still wait for him or not."

 

Taemin have bugged Jongdae again with lots of questions especially it's been 9 months since Jongin left.

"Uhm, I just talked to him this morning. He's doing great and he's working from home."

"Why? Is he sick? Is that the reason he's working from home?"

"Ahm. Uhm. I think he got some work to do that doesn't need his presence at the company. Taemin ah, I know you already know that he is in San Francisco. Heechul hyung and Siwon hyung have told me you went to Chiba to ask them about Jongin. As much as I want to help you since we've seen your efforts and sincerity but with his recent workloads, it's a bit difficult. He's busy. I know that you'd want to go and find him there but I could only advise you to at least delay it a bit. Since he's out of the office, he might be going to other states or other nearby countries. One time, he even went to London."

"It's okay hyung, I understand. Actually, I applied for a tourist visa to go to San Francisco and look for him but fate forbid my plans. I got denied and would have to wait for another 3 months before I could apply again."

"You really want to see him so bad, huh?"

"You don't know how much I loathe to see him. I miss him so bad."

"I know. I miss Jongin too but I know you miss him a million times more than I do. But don't worry, at the right time, you'd be able to see him again."

"Ah hyung, I just also want to ask.. Jongin.. does he have someone else now? I mean, have he found someone to love so he doesn't love me anymore? I'm quite confused and also torn if I would have to continue to love and wait for him without knowing anything about his feelings."

"Since he went away, he never talked about you even if I brought up topics. When I told him that you got married, he told me that he doesn't want to hear anything about you. But I know that guy, he's only doing that to save himself and to reverse the pain he's feeling. Deep inside, I know he still loves you. You know too well that Jongin isn't a good liar too, right?"

"Yeah I know because I'm the biggest liar. He's too sincere and real, he can't lie without feeling so guilty. But you've told him that Naeun and I got married?!"

"Yup. Turns out that he already know about it. I wasn't the first person to tell him about it and I was surprised when he told me he already knew. And he thought that he was the only one who have held you back to marrying her."

"But hyung!! I think I forgot to tell you.. Naeun and I already parted ways!! It's already been 4 months since she finally let me go! She went to be with another man and she's not clinging onto me anymore!"

"Jinjja? Why did you forgot to tell me? I could've told him that you still love him and there's no problem anymore!"

"Sorry hyung but yes, there's no problem anymore! I hope you could tell Jongin that as soon as possible. Maybe he could go back to me especially now that I have already learned my lesson!"

"As much as I want him to go back here as soon as I tell him about it, he can't because his work contract is 1 year. Chances are, he would only go back here in July. That's still 3 months from now."

"So I still really have to wait for a year to finally be with him. Okay. I guess it can't be helped."

"Deep inside, I know Jongin still loves you. Don't give up too soon or you'd lose him completely."

  


"Jongin ahhh." Jongdae greeted his pale cousin on the webcam.

"Hyung annyeong!! I'm so bored here at home. I'm on 'maternity' leave and I hate it. I can't do the things I usually do, I just eat a lot and sleep a lot and sometimes, calm baby down."

"Well that's good! You can't work, of course because Heechul hyung and Siwon hyung won't let you. You need to gather lots of energy so when the time comes, you'll be able to give birth effortlessly. It's good to know that you're well and I'm quite excited for your baby's arrival!! Ah, uncle Jongdae would officially be an uncle soon. Really."

"You're already an uncle since Rahee and Jun. Ah yes, Heechul hyung's baby too. Baby would be the fourth among the cute cousins from us. Well, Jaejoong hyung's kids isn't included yet and they're older than Rahee so yeah, you're already an official uncle for so many years now."

"Wow thank you for reminding me. Haha. Ah, you haven't told me if your baby is a boy or a girl."

"Ah jinjja? I haven't told you yet? Sorry! I must've been too preoccupied these past few months since I knew my baby's gender. But hyung, make a guess.."

"Uhm. Since you are so blooming.. I guess it's a niece?"

"Bingo. Haha. Yes, you'll be having another niece."

"Oh my gosh I'm so excited!! I'm so excited to see how beautiful your baby would look especially Taemin is also as beautiful as you. Ah by the way, he was here just this afternoon. He asked me how you were doing, I said you're okay. And he knew that you're there in San Francisco."

"He knows where I am? Oh my f-"

"Calm down. He may know where you are but he can't go to find you. He wasn't granted a visa by the Embassy of the United States. He wanted to go and find you so much that he would do everything to take you back."

"Hyung. I don't need to hear those things. I'm moving on from him."

"But I think you have to know this too.. Naeun already broke up with him! She went with her new boyfriend Kim Taehyung now! Jongin ah, there's no problem for your relationship with Taemin anymore.. he still loves you and he's willing to wait for you until you're ready, even though sometimes he's wavering because he doesn't know if you still love him or not."

"Hyung? I'm sorry but I can't bear to hear anything about him. I am so sorry but if you'd just talk about him, I might have to end this video call." Jongin unknowingly felt some abdominal pain but he thought it'd only his baby's kicks.

"But I know you. I know you still love Taemin."

"Not anymore, I'm still trying to walk away from those things that would make all my efforts of moving on go to waste."

"Jongin, do not be too hard on yourself. He have learned his lesson and he is willing to start with you again, especially now that he's finally free. He is really single now, Naeun is gone with her new boyfriend and you love each other. That would be the perfect time for the two of you. Ah! The three of you, because eventually, you would be blessed with a daughter made of love. Besides, my niece would be happier if her dad is with her too." While Jongdae was talking, Jongin suddenly felt his baby girl kicked too hard that he had to caress his abdomen so she could be tamed down.

"Oh what's the matter? Are you okay?"

"Baby girl just kicked too hard. She got my love for soccer. Hehe. And I think she's excited to see you."

"You could still joke around like that huh? Maybe she's also happy that we're talking about her dad abd thr possibility of the two of you to be back together. But let me ask you, when is your due date?"

"Due date? Ahm, actually, tomorrow."

"Oh my fucking.. Jongin, you should be getting ready! Her hard kick might be one of the signs she would be coming out very soon!"

"Ah yeah she's getting a bit excited. I'll call you again hyung, I'll be going to the hospital and wait there until she comes out. I'll call you again when we get back. Thank you hyung, please wish me luck. I'm getting nervous now.."

"Fighting Jongin ah!!! You can do it! For your love for Taemin and your baby girl, do your best! I will root for the two of you and call me immediately okay?"

"Yes hyung, I'll call as soon as we get home. Bye. Love you hyung!"

"Bye! Love you Jongin ah! Baby girl, uncle Chen would be waiting for you!!" Then the video call ended. Jongdae got nervous too but he can't do anything but wait for the good news after at least a week.

 

After almost 24 hours of labor and excruciating pain not just on his femme area but also on his lower back, Jongin successfully and safely gave birth to a very cute baby girl via normal delivery and he named her Taeia which means faith. 

Jongdae is very excited to start the video call since he got the news that Jongin and his niece have safe delivery and they have arribed back his loft.

"Annyeong hyung aaaahhh!! I'm back home. Hehe."

"Ya did you really gave birth? You still look the same except for the baby bump that you used to have. You're so unfair to other pregnant people."

"I did. Even I couldn't believe that I gave birth to her. Maybe I look the same because I eat healthy? I do not exercise though."

"Woah. That's super awesome! You're such a hot mom now. By the way, where is she?"

"She's still sleeping but I'll try to show you where my angel is. Jjajjaaan!! But we have to be quiet because it's hard to tame her down when she starts to cry." Jongin focused the camera on his sleeping smiling angel.

"Wow she's so cute!! You really gave birth to her!! Uwaaah!! Ya, my niece would surely have lots and lots and lots of suitors when she grows up!"

"Good thing she looks like me."

"What Jongin? Do you hear yourself?"

"Yeah. I know. Taemin and I look alike so there isn't much difference. Yeah."

"It's good to know that you still remember that fact."

"So yeah, that's my baby girl."

"What's her name?"

"Altaeia Kim."

"So you named her after you mixed your English name and Taemin's name. I saw what you did there. You are the 'Al' as in Alex then 'Tae' which is Taemin then you just added ia to make her a girl. Nice nice. Very witty mommy."

"The only thing that I could give her aside from his face is his name. Not his surname though, because he's married with somebody else."

"You're still insisting that he's really married to her until now, huh? Anyways, giving your last name would be fine. Besides, it'd be easier for your husband to adopt her legally when you get married."

"That's something's a bit unrealistic for me. Haha. I'm fine with Taeia alone."

"Wow. Grown up Jongin is really grown up. Congratulations!!"

"Ah and another one hyung."

"Yes?"

"I'll be going back with her for good. I'll be transferred at the South Korean network of the company in a few months."

"Hooray!! Good thing Cha isn't sold yet. Your unit is still up for sale, should I take it down?"

"Yeah, maybe we could go and stay there first before we move to a new place."

"Alright alright. I'll get ready for the two of you."

When Jongin arrived in San Francisco almost a year ago, he met a fellow Korean director named Jessica Jung. Both of them would be assigned to the South Korean network of the company and they were more than happy and relieved that they will work together. She would be visiting her sister and her family for the first time in Seoul so they agreed to go to Korea on the same flight, offering to also tour her around. She also grew fond of Jongin's baby girl Taeia so it's not a problem to her even if they would travel with a baby.

"Welcome to Korea, Jessica nuna and Taeia. Hehe. This is the beautiful place where I lived. Oh, he's here! Jongdae hyung!!!!"

"Omo. Jonginnie!! Oh so you're with someone. Hi I am Kim Jongin. Ah, sorry. I'm Kim Jongdae."

"Older brother?"

"Ah no he's not my brother. He's my best friend."

"Ya! I'm not Taemin!"

"Shut up hyung haha. Ah hehe. Jessica nuna, this is Jongdae hyung. He's my cousin best friend. Hyung, this is Jessica nuna, a fellow Korean director at the company."

"Nice to meet you. Jongdae right?"

"Yes but you can call me Chen. It's easier."

"Oh. Okay Chen. Yes it's easier."

"That brat didn't tell you to call him Kai?"

"Eish hyung don't bring that up!"

"He told me to only call him Kai when we're at work. When outside of work, it's Jongin."

"Ah, still the humble director that I know. Seems like the two of you are close huh? That's nice. And yes, hello my cute niece. I'm uncle Chen. Hi Taeia!!"

"She's so cute right?"

"Yes! She's very cute!! She looks like her dad a lot." Jongdae teased Jongin with a playful grin that the younger cousin just shook his head.

"Hyung. Jebal.."

"Anyways let's get going!" They got their luggages and drove to Jongin's unit.

"Jjajjan. Still your empty place. Since you sold everything, you'd have to buy everything again."

"It's okay, I could help you revamp your unit."

"Huh?"

"She's an interior designer hyung. But that would cost a lot of professional fee. Haha."

"No, I insist. It's for free and my gift to you and Taeia. If you want, we could go to IKEA so they could deliver everything after checkout."

"I think that's nice."

"Okay but let's eat first!! Since it's Jessica nuna's first time in Korea, we'll take her to Burger King. Haha."

"I would like to try the Korean Barbecue though."

"But you'll surely smell like smoke. Would that be okay with you?"

"Yeah. I don't mind smelling like grilled meat. It'll make me smell delicious. Hahaha."

 "Okay. That's great! Kaja."

"Another one hyung, Jessica nuna, she is actually Krystal's older sister."

"Krystal? I don't know anyone named Krystal."

"Yixing's wife."

"Yixings.. oh. Yixing's wife?!?!"

"You know my brother in law?"

"Yeah. Actually Jongin, me, Yixing and Taemin. We're all friends in the university."

"Why would you have to include him?"

"Just because. Hehe. Yeah. Yixing ge is close to us. I was just surprised since it's a small world for you and Jongin to meet up and be friends then you happen to be the older sister of our friend's wife."

"Yeah. That's quite magical."

 

Krystal and Jessica agreed to meet up at IKEA so Yixing could also meet Jongin and Jongdae after 3 years.

Yixing's son is almost 4 years old so he's out and running. When Yixing went closer, he was surprised to see Jongin carrying a baby girl that looks like him.

"Oh. It's been so long, Jongin ah."

"Hello. Baby, say hello to uncle Xing."

"Hi. What's her name?"

"Taeia Kim."

"Her mom?"

"Me."

"You?"

"Yes. I gave birth to her."

"So what you told me.. it's really true."

"Yeah. Actually I didn't believe them even when I told you about it but she really came. She's a blessing and a new reason for me to live a new life."

"Her dad?"

"Married to someone else."

"Sorry. Guessing with her name, is it Taemin?"

"Yup."

"It's sad to know that you're a single parent now. But what's good is your baby is yours alone."

"Yeah. I'm getting used to taking care of her alone, though it gets hard when I have to go to work. I'd have to take her with me."

"If you want, you could leave her to Jongdae or to us. Lei would enjoy taking care of Taeia as his sister. And I think Jessica nuna is fond of her. Oh yeah, why don't the two of you date?"

"Same reason. I'm not into girls. I even gave birth to a baby girl myself."

"Ah yes I got it now. But yeah, nuna seems to like taking care of Taeia."

"She works with me."

"Then you could just take her to work. That's a bit hard but it's the most convenient way, though our house is open to cute visitors like her. We'd take care of her if you want to."

"Thanks for the suggestion."

Jongin and Jessica got closer as siblings while decorating the loft fit for Jongin's angel Taeia. They bought candy colored play mats, a pastel blue crib, a camera monitor for baby, then Jongin's brand new refrigerator, gas range, bed, pillows, couch, tables and chairs. They got new neon lights installed at the room and a wallpaper of glittery stars for the ceiling.

 


	16. The Homecoming

Taemin have finally heard the news that Jongin came back to Seoul so he left Naeun and Taehyung at the hospital to go back to Jongin's unit, hoping that it's not yet sold to someone else and hoping that Jongin would be back to live there again.

"Ah jebal jebal please. Once I get to see you, I'll be okay. Jebal." The door opened but he was surprised to see a woman carrying a cute baby girl that looks quite familiar.

"Yes how may I help you?"

"Uh.."

"Who's at the door nuna? Oh. Taemin." Jongin and Taemin got frozen as they saw each other after more than a year.

"So you're Jonginnie's friend. Come inside. Ya give him some water or juice. I'll just feed baby girl okay?" Jessica knows what to do at the mention of Taemin's name. She was told to act as Taeia's mom when this scenario happens so Taemin won't bother to ask whose baby is it.

"So you're finally back. What's up? Why did you suddenly went away with only that video as an explanation?" Jongin was startled when he was immediately questioned by Taemin as if he's the bad cheater so he gave him a counterattack.

"See that woman and that baby? They're the reason why I left. And I think that's the best thing and the best gift I gave you - freedom. Now look at you, you're married to your real love after more than 8 long years."

"I didn't have any choice. She only have a few months to live so I decided to give her the love I could give so when she has to go, she would die happy."

"Ah. So that's the reason why you chose her and married her."

"That's also the reason why I got cold to you. The reason why I stopped telling you that I love you. I wanted to be true to her on the last moments of her life with me." Both of them are speaking out of their pains that they have said somewhat harsh and insincere words.

"Ah. Okay. But still, my decision to leave you is indeed the best decision I've made in my life. Now, I have a cute baby girl and a loving wife. I would've just wasted my time and I might've gone insane if I still stayed with you."

"I never thought that you're after girls.."

"I just followed you and Yixing's footsteps. By the way, that girl is Krystal's sister. Krystal is Yixing's wife. We ended up being brothers in law."

"Woah. That's awkward."

"It's fine now especially when we have our own kids and wives. How about you? Is she already pregnant? You must've went on your way to give her a baby especially you're now married."

"No, she's not capable of bearing one because her body is too weak. And no, we didn't make love because it'll be painful for her."

"Ah. That's sad, though I know that it's not really the case for her. Anyways, I hope you and your wife get to enjoy life until the end. Good luck to you and thanks for the visit."

"Jongdae hyung haven't told you yet?"

"What?"

"Naeun have already left me almost  year ago. We didn't last for 3 months. She went with another guy."

"So money and lust is still chosen over you then. As expected of her."

"Why didn't you tell me about it? That you know the things Naeun do in Macau."

"I just don't want to look too desperate and too pathetic for you to choose me. Besides, it was you who drifted apart from me because you don't love me anymore. It's okay, I'm already over it."

"But I'm left all alone now! We're done, we're over and she chose her boyfriend over me so there's no proble. Anymore! I'm single and broken but now I am very happy because you're back. Jonginnie.."

"Yes?"

"Would you be leaving again?"

"Not quite sure. Why?"

"It's just.. it's just so hard to live without my life, you know." Finally, Taemin spoke his sincere and heartfelt feelings.

"Ah. Is that so? I think that's fine. Some people even experienced dying a million times while they are still alive. Living without one is nothing compared to that."

"Are you still mad at me for turning back on you?"

"I don't think I'll have to answer that question though. I believe I've conveyed all my feelings through that video."

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for hurting you, Jongin. I know I do not deserve to be forgiven but I am sincere. I hope we could still go back to how we used to be, at least since you're also married."

"I'm not quite sure with that too.."

"Do you still love me? Or do you still have feelings for me? Is that the reason why you don't want to be my friend again?"

"Whether I still love you or not, whether I still have feelings for you or not, I'll just keep it to myself. And I think living a life without you is fine. I was able to get by without you for more than a year now. Besides, I already have a wife."

"Please? Because I can't. I won't be able to endure not being able to see you again especially now that you're back. Please? I won't demand anything, I just want to be friends again, where we know each other and we could meet up, talk, bond and do stuff like before."

"Ah jinjja. Okay. Friends but only friends, no any other things included. You're married, just to remind you."

"But Jongin, I told you we're over, aigoo! Well thank you so much. We've already parted ways though so I am really alone now but thank you for also giving me a chance to be back into your life. I'm very happy that you're back; knowing that you are near makes me happy enough not to loathe even if we're already apart. Jonginnie, please don't walk out of my life again. I'd be contented with being your friend, as long as you'd stay close to me. You're the only one who kept me sane and when you left, I lost my mind."

"It's flattering but it's too late now, sorry."

"I know but this is the only thing I'll ask from you. By the way, what's your baby's name? I was able to see a glimpse of her and she's cute."

"She's Altaeia Kim. Nuna wanted that name so bad so we named her Altaeia. Yes, she is really cute."

"She looks like you so much. I envy you since you have your own baby now."

"When you get married again, make sure to have a child bearing wife so you'd have your own baby." But then Jessica went to Jongin because Taeia is crying.

"Aigoo why is my angel crying? You miss me? You had a bad dream? Don't cry now love, daddy is here." Jongin let Taeia snuggle her face to his chest while Taemin watched them as if he was watching the best scene in the world.

"You two.. you're too adorable. You're very lucky that you're living a good life now."

"Maybe its in the choices you make and the things you prioritize that the world and life would reward you something so beautiful. In my case, this angel."

"Yeah. Oh, she's not yet asleep."

"Baby, why are you not yet sleeping?" Taeia reverted her small eyes to the visitor beside her mommy Jongin.

"Oh, she's looking at me. Hi!! Altaeia right?" Taemin touched her little hands with his index finger and the cute baby held onto it. She smiled as she finally met her daddy Taemin.

"She likes me! She's smiling! Woah. So this is how it feels to be close to a baby. It feels good!"

"Don't make me laugh. You have a niece, you carry her around and there's nothing new with what you're feeling towards my angel."

"Oh? She stopped crying? I thought she's sleepy." Jessica uttered in confusion but when she saw how happy Taemin looked at Taeia, she just looked at Jongin.

"Taemin ssi, do yoy want to have a baby too?"

"Yeah. I'm turning 30 and I want to have a family soon. Having cute babies like Altaeia would be great."

"Want to carry her?"

"Nuna.." Jongin tried to stop Jessica who is actually helping him.

"It's fine. Jongin doesn't want to."

"It's okay. He'll just carry her. He won't take baby away, right?"

"I understand that you're overprotective but yes, I won't take her away from you. No need to worry much."

"Just make sure that you could tame her down if she cries." Jongin is still uneasy letting Taemin get close to their baby girl. Jessica placed Taeia on Taemin's arms and the cute little angel got excited. She sniffed her real dad's scent and leaned her head by his heart. She never cried when Taemin was carrying her; instead, she is smiling sweetly.

"Taemin looks good with a baby girl. You look like daddy and baby."

"Of course, because baby girl looks like me."

"Jongin and I look alike so you could say that."

 _ **"You punk. You would really look like Taeia because you are her father."**_ Jongin just thought while he watched his baby girl get comfortable with her dad.

"She's a very good stress reliever. Thank you for letting me have a close baby experience."

"Sure. But you could always take care of your niece anytime. Thank you for the visit too, Taemin."

"Can I visit again so I could play with her? It gets lonely at the hospital."

"Hospital?"

"Yeah. Naeun is confined at the hospital. The doctor told us that she wouldn't be able to stay long."

"May I know what hospital? So we could also visit you and your wife." Jessica asked since she knew about Taemin and his 'wife', the one who have unpaid debts to Jongin.

"She's at Jeil Hospital in Gangnam."

"Oh. Maybe we could visit her some time."

"That would be great because she likes visitors. Anyways, I'll be going ahead. Jonginnie, I'm glad you're back and I hope you'd stay. Thank you also for allowing me to be your friend again. Congratulations to the two of you especially for having a very cute baby. She's like an angel and I am very happy that I've got to meet her. Until next time, I'd visit you again. Byebye! Thank you, really."

"No worries." Jongin coldly replied but as soon as the front doors were locked, he was bawling again.

"Aigoo our Taeia's parents, ladies and gentlemen."

"See that heartless fucker? Ah jinjja."

"Why don't you tell him that he's Taeia's father? He likes her a lot and she's not crying when she's with him."

"This is actually one of the days I'd hate to come."

"So you're still mad at him.. and you're still hurting."

"I really hate him. Did you see how he went? It's as if nothing has changed! As if nothing happened, and as if he was so lost when I went away. That fucker really knows how to act that he loves me. Ah jinjja."

"Ya keep calm. Taeia's getting startled."

"Jinjja? Sorry baby. Promise, I would control my feelings when your dad is near. Yep, he's your dad and I think you've felt the connection." The 3 months old baby girl just smiled at her mommy Jongin.

"Well I think she knows that he is her dad. With the way she smiles at him, it was like _'finally I was able to see daddy'_. You still love him, right? Why don't you give him a chance? He already explained the reason why he did that to you.."

"But that still doesn't change the fact that he chose her over me."

"Maybe that's what you'll need to work out. Obsession, egotism and forgiveness."

Jessica was the one who told Jongin to go and visit Naeun, so they could have a closure and to forgive each other. And true enough, Naeun was happy to finally be forgiven by his former love's true love; someone she tormented before and someone who she kept away from Taemin. 

"Thank you for forgiving me.. I've forgiven you the day I told Taemin oppa about everything. I didn't expect that you'd forgive me this early for deceiving the two of you so you won't be happy while I'm suffering. I should've not blamed you for my misery. I'm really sorry and thank you."

"It's all in the past and I'm living well. Sadly, you only got to be with him for quite sometime; while he was 'broken' and 'devastated' because of me."

"When you left, I was happy because finally you gave up on trying to take him away from me and you just let us be happy together but when time passed, I found out that it's not really happiness. I was just thrilled of having Taemin by my side and having him come home to me even if he goes to you during the day. I thought what's important is who he comes home to, but it's not. It is who his home is and I've felt that I am not his home. As I realized that, I also came to love Taehyung oppa. He's nice to me and he understands me. He knows everything about my past including Taemin oppa, and loved me through it all so I went with him instead. I gave Taemin oppa freedom as a gift and as compensation for all the damages I caused to the two of you. Ah! I think you should know this. When you left, he was crying so hard. He was totally devastated, the soulless, emotionless and robot like man broke down that it also affected his mental state. He drank for 1 week straight and cried non-stop. He only pushed himself to stop drinking after a week so he could go back to work. He tried his best to recover from his heartache, thinking that you'd come back to him when he becomes a better man. And he told me he knows you're in San Francisco since he went to your family in Japan to ask for your whereabouts. He immediately scheduled a visa appointment to US but he got denied. He wanted to be with you so much that he did everything to go to you, which includes waiting for you even if sometimes he thought about giving up because you might've already found someone else to love."

"So he did that.. I'm surprised. He went beyond his limits. He visited my family in Japan when it's been so long since we went there? We were still kids thay time.. And went there only to ask for my whereabouts? It's surprising because my older brother and my sisters wouldn't give that information to him easily when they know all the hardships I've been through with Taemin."

"Well you can ask them about it but he really did that. He did it for you."

"Thanks for the information though."

"Jongin ssi, I won't be able to live long anymore, and I'm afraid Taemin would be left to my sister and his older brother alone. Do you still love him? Please take him back if you do. I want him to be finally happy without anything getting in the way for him to love you. He loves you so much and he even did that when he was with me. Technically, I was just a physical companion but you are inside his heart and mind all the time. You're his world and his life, and I saw how he suffered when you left. Please, if you do, don't hesitate anymore."

"Actually, I already have a family.. I don't know if I-"

"You don't love him anymore? After everything the two of you been through? Really? That's so sad."

"Uhm, I have a daughter already and Taemin is the father. Please keep this as a secret first, maybe I'll tell him personally someday. When I left, I just found out that he got me pregnant."

"You what?"

"I'm a femme male. I can get pregnant and I gave birth to a baby girl. Taemin is the father."

"Oh that's awesome! That's better and Taemin would really love it to finally carry his own baby. Congratulations to the two of you. I'm happy for you."

"But what he know is that baby girl is my baby from a woman, technically my best friend who I work with in San Francisco. Up to this day, all he know is that I am already married, I have a wife and a baby girl."

"But he should know the truth.. you can't hide your baby girl from him forever."

"I will tell him.. maybe someday when I'm ready."

"I hope that someday wouldn't be too late. Take it from me. I don't want the two of you to waste your time."

"Yes I will."

"Do you have a photo of your baby?"

"Yes I do but maybe this is better. Jjamkkan." Jongin went outside to tell Jessica to come by the door.

"There. My best friend Jessica nuna then my baby."

"Oh hi! What's her name?"

"Taeia Kim."

"Such a cutie! Wow, you really are Taemin's daughter. I could see the resemblance. You're blessed with a beautiful daughter after all the things I put you trough. I'm relieved and maybe I could be in peace with that."

"Sorry too, Naeun ssi."

"It's okay now. We just have to forget about those painful things to live a happy life. Just don't forget what I told you. Don't waste time if you still love him. I don't want you to experience being too late to appreciate the diamond after holding onto a rock. And baby, you'll get to see your real dad soon. Help your mom forgive him so your family would be complete."

"Thank you. I wish you well."

"I will be well, I promise."

"We'll go ahead before Taemin arrives and-" but before Jongin, Jessica and Taeia could leave, the door opened and Taemin arrived.

"Oh! You're here! You should've told me and I could've assisted you. How long have you been here?"

"We're about to go home so Naeun could rest. Naeun ssi, rest well okay? We also have to go, baby needs to get the diaper changed. Taemin, we'll be going ahead."

"But I just got here. Can you stay a little longer? Uhm 30 minutes? I somehow want to play with baby.. Hello baby!!! I miss you!"

"Ugh okay. Fine. But only 30 minutes." Jessica smiled because Jongin failed to resist Taemin especially when he saw the daddy and baby tandem enjoy being with each other. Taeia even started to chuckle while Taemin was sniffing her neck.

"I wish Taemin would have a baby too." Naeun smiled seeing Taemin happy with his own daughter while Jongin was in dilemma. He told Naeun to keep the fact that Taemin is Taeia's dad a secret because he wanted to tell him personally about it when he's ready and when he's recovered. Naeun agreed but only when he would take Taemin back and as soon as possible.

"30 minutes is up, we have to go." But Taeia is still clinging like a koala to Taemin. She fell asleep sniffing her daddy Taemin's neck and when Jongin tried to take her from him, she got awakened and cried hard.

"Aigoo you brat! We have to go home and let them rest. They have a long day and we'll go home okay? Don't cry anymore, daddy's here."

"Aigoo our sweet little angel is crying. Don't cry now. We'll just play some other time okay? I'll visit you when your mom and dad don't have work. I'll miss you Altaeia!"

"We'll be going ahead. Thanks! And Naeun ssi, get well soon!"

"I promise I'll be well! Thank you for the visit! And thank you so much for this, Jongin ssi. I wish you happiness and love."

"Thanks. Same to you. Taemin, we'll be going ahead."

"Yeah sure. Take care and be careful while driving. I'll visit you soon."

 

Naeun was in the middle of her renal operation when most of her organs failed, leading to her death a week after she was visited by Jongin and Taeia. They mourned her death but was happy for her since she won't have to suffer in pain, and she would be in peace. Taehyung was crying but have already expected it, while Taemin and Jongin felt sorry yet happy that she is in a better place. They gained a guardian that would help them be happy aside from their first angel that have been their guide, and is also Taeia's playmate.

Jongin allowed Taemin to come and visit them and Taeia so he could move on from Naeun's death. Jessica was more than happy now that Jongin is slowly letting Taemin back to his life as his best friend.

"Chef, you're not busy huh? You have the time to come and play with Taeia."

"Ah I'm busy but I make sure to have time to play with her. She makes me happy and makes me forget all the stress that I have. I'm really thankful that you allowed me to play with her. She's such an angel."

"Thanks for the compliments but yeah, she's really a wonderful angel."

"Uhm, Jongin? Can we talk?"

"We're already talking, you idiot."

"Talk I mean to have a sincere, heart to heart talk. Would that be okay with you?"

"If carrying Taeia while talking to me is convenient for you then go ahead. I'm listening and I'd try to answer you in the most sincere way I can."

"Okay. I'll try not to make it awkward too. Uhm, Jongin, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry if I put you through a lot. I realized that it's not all Naeun's fault. Mostly, it's mine. She may have done wrong to you but I've caused you pain way more than what she inflicted to you. It's me, the main reason why the two of you got hurt so much. I was too selfish, too egotistic, I only thought about myself and didn't care if both of you will get hurt. It was me who made the two of you broken and I am really, really sorry for that. Naeun is right, we don't know how much time we have left in this world so as soon as today, I want to make it up to you. I'm really sorry."

"It's okay. I've already moved on from that pain since my little angel came. I'm okay now, you just also have to forgive yourself. Well I am sorry too, most especially for loving you too much, for making you do such things with my provocation and forcing myself to you. As much as Naeun and you are at fault, I'm at fault too. I should've said no especially when I found out that you have a girlfriend. I still pushed myself for you to love me even if she is already in the picture way before I did. I'm sorry for being so emotional and obsessed with the love you showed me. I'm sorry also because I wasn't enough for you to somehow choose her. I'm sorry that I wasn't enough that I felt you don't love me anymore."

"But Jonginnie I-"

"Let me finish first okay? I'm sorry for being that person who settled for a half hearted love. I'm sorry for not telling you my feelings personally, sorry for relying on my emotions and being too emotional that I decided to leave you. And I'm also sorry for leading you on that day before our anniversary. You must've thought that we're okay until I left you. You must've thought that we're still happy together when I should've told you my feelings. I'm sorry if I got carried away with my emotions and I'm sorry for not giving our relationship a chance to get fixed. I'm sorry, I decided on my own without thinking about your feelings but I guess I only needed that time off away from you and live without you for me to learn. Indeed, I learned a lot, including lots of choices, decisions and acts I should've and should've not done. I'm sorry, that I just threw away our friendship because of the pain and I'm sorry for leaving you. Being left, especially without a word, maybe with a video, must've hurt so much. And I'm sorry for that. I'm somehow happy that it happened because if I didn't leave then maybe I won't have Taeia with me today."

"You're forgiven the day I saw you back here in Seoul. It may have hurt me a lot but yeah, maybe we really need that time away from each other. Thank you for the lessons, Jonginnie."

"Is there anything else?"

"Uhm, I just want to tell you this, regardless of what you feel. Jongin, I still love you. Even if I can only look at you from afar now that you're already married, I still love you. And I'm sorry if I didn't fight for my love for you that you've found someone else. Sadly, I only appreciated you when you were gone and I was only able to realized that too late. You deserve her, but it's a pity to see and say that 'it should've been me, it should've been us'. It must've been love but it's gone now. I only have regrets in not taking you when I love you more than my life."

"Ah, what should I say? Haha. Sadly, too late."

"But even if you have your own family now, I'll just be loving you and your baby from afar. Maybe I'd be contented with that. I don't want to steal you from Jessica. Maybe I'll just love Altaeia with the love I have for you so it won't be wasted."

"If you do, it'd be world war III. Haha. Well thanks for that, I can only love you as my best friend now."

"Can we be best friends again?"

"Why not. We're best friends since we were kids. I thought we just worked in a different country. I hope now that I'm back, I could be with my best friend again."

"Thank you, best friend. I love you and your baby. Hehe."

 

Jongin could see how Taemin is happy with Taeia and how Taeia is very happy with her daddy Taem so he just allowed the two of them to bond.

"Jongin ah."

"Why nuna?"

"The two of you.. you look like parents who are sharing your baby's moments. It makes my heart happy. How about you, aren't you happy that somehow everything is falling into place? And after all the things you've been through with Taemin, he's still loving you?"

"It makes my heart happy too but I'm scared. What if that happens again? And if I tell him about the truth with Taeia.. what if he only want my baby and not me? What if one day I trust him but he'd run away taking Taeia with him? I don't want that to happen!"

"Shhh. Chill. Relax. Jongin, do you really think Taemin would do that? Do you think he would take Taeia away from you when he himself wants to be with you as much as he can? Maybe he's also making going here to play with Taeia an excuse to be close to you again. Heck, all that's left to both of you is for him to move in here so he could spent his time at home with you and Taeia when he could just go to his family house to rest and sleep. He's doing efforts to somehow get close to both of you again. Besides, you told me you're best friends since you were young. Give him a chance, I think this is the right time for that right love with him, the right person. I know you might've been traumatised by the pain you endured but trust love one more time, especially you have someone who would help you get closer together."

"I'll try my best."

 

Taemin got to practice babysitting Taeia under Jongin's supervison when Jessica is out for her site visit. Luckily, he's there when Jongin was experiencing PMS. Jongin is stucked at his computer chair so he got Taeia on the carrier, got some hot water and gave him a hot compress. Taemin isn't just a babysitter this time, he also become boyfriend Taemin taking care of his PMS-strucked boyfriend, just like the old times.

"You still remember what I gave you when you have PMS?"

"Yeah. Strawberries."

"Yup. Ah, sadly I wasn't able to buy a strawberry cake before I went here. Jjamkkan. Can you take Taeia for a while? I'll just go outside."

"Ania there's no need for that! Thanks but I'll be okay."

"I'll be quick. Wait for me!" And when Taemin went back to Jongin's loft, he's carrying a whole box of cake.

"Ya what are you doing?! Why do you have that?"

"This is for you.. from that shop. You might've miss eating this and this could help ease your pain. I got it customized for you this time. Haha." When Taemin got the cake out of the box, Jongin was surprised to see that it's a whole fresh strawberry mousse with buncha crunch toppings. He was more surprised when Taemin sliced it because of the ovomaltine crunch filling.

"Oh my gosh! All my favorites!! Wow thank you so much! Ah, you don't know how much this could help me. Huhu thank you Taemin!" Jongin happily indulged on the cake slice and Taeia was staring to him as if she's judging him for not giving her a bite.

"Ya, mwolbwa? What are you looking at? This is for me. You can't have a bite yet. You don't have teeth yet hehe."

"Aigoo cute baby wants to have a taste. I'll take her so you can enjoy that."

"Hehe thanks. Baby, I'll get back to you later. Let me eat this first." Taemin was so entertained watching Taeia staring at the rest of the cake by the counter.

"So you really want to have a taste, baby? Okay. I'll let you taste some.." Taemin got a small portion of the strawberry cream cheese mousse and placed it onto Taeia's lips. Baby girl licked it and smiled so he was more than happy.

"Oh you like it too? Woah! You're so cute. Ah, how about this one? It's a bit different though.." he got a whip of the ovomaltine crunch filling and did the same, and she likes it more.

"Waha it's really obvious now on who your daddy is. Jonginnie, she likes it the way you like strawberries and chocolates. She's indeed your baby. How cute! Taeia, you are like your daddy Jongin. You both love strawberries and chocolates plus you both are very adorable. So cute.."

"Taemin, thank you! Thank you for these, not just this cake but also for being here with us. For always wanting to take care of me and Altaeia. And you give her so much milestones that I didn't even think will happen. Today is recorded as the day she got her first taste of strawberries and chocolates."

"Don't mention it. While I don't have my own baby, I would come here and bother the two of you so we could play. Besides, I think of her as my own baby too."

"You'd get to have your own baby in the future. Just believe."

"I hope so. I can't wait! I'm so excited but I'll just take care of Altaeia for now. She's enough for me." Jongin just couldn't stop smiling because of the two most important people in his life, Taemin and Taeia.

 

Jongin have begged Jessica to live with him like they are sisters the moment they went back to Korea so they could take care of Taeia well, and of course, to cover Jongin's truth from Taemin. They stayed together even if Taemin comes over to play with baby Taeia especially when they do not have work. Since they work at the same company, they take Taeia to work but this time, Taeia is left to her uncle Jongdae since there is a board of directors meeting at Jongin and Jessica's office. Since he wasn't really experienced in taking care of a baby, he struggled when he was alone with Taeia.

"Ah jinjja eotteokhae? What should I do with this cute baby now. Ahuu I need help. How do I do this.." he suddenly remembered Yixing who already have a son and asked for help. Yixing went to help Jongdae and took his son Lei to play with Taeia.

"Who would've thought that baby Yixing and baby Jongin would be friends when their dads were former lovers."

"It's the mystery of life. But I am still curious, how come Taemin suddenly became like that? After all the years of friendship, he just threw it all away and chose that girl as if Jongin's nothing. I am not clean myself since Jongin and I broke up too but they have been friends since they were kids. They know each other very well but it became like that."

"I don't know, but I know that Taemin is very lucky because he got a baby girl now. Even though he doesn't know about her yet."

"Should we make their paths cross?"

"I think that's a good idea."

 

Yixing and Jongdae called Taemin for a reunion snack at a kid friendly restaurant especially they have Lei and Taeia. Taemin arrived and was happy to see his friends again.

"It's been a while! Xing hyung annyeong! Oh what a handsome boy! Jongdae hyung annyeong! Cutie baby Altaeia annyeong! Woah joahtda." Taemin shook Taeia's hands and his angel giggled.

"Jjamkkan. You know her name?"

"Yes of course. She's Altaeia Kim. Jonginnie's baby girl."

"So you already met him?"

"Yes."

"So you also already know about Taeia?"

"Taeia? Ah Altaeia? Yes. So that's her nickname?"

"That's her Korean name. Kim Taeia."

"So he must've told you everything too. Ara, we don't need to hide anything then. Ya Taemin ah, carry Taeia this time. My arms have been sleeping for hours now."

"Sure. Hello baby!! I miss you so much!!"

"Ah, the two of them really look alike."

"Of course, she would look like her dad a lot. Mommy is Jongin and daddy is Taemin so she would really look like both of them."

"Hyung? Mommy is Jongin?"

"Eish you already met him and your baby. He must've already told you that he gave birth to your baby girl while he's in San Francisco."

"Jonginnie.. he gave birth to Taeia? I thought.." Taemin still couldn't get a grasp of what Jongdae is saying

"Ah, actor Taemin is on the loose again. It's not like you weren't able to see his sonogram when he was pregnant. Well, you got him pregnant before so I wasn't surprised that you0 got him pregnant again."

"So Jongin showed Taemin his sonogram?" Yixing got confused too.

"He did that before, he must've done that too. And he sent pictures of him when he still have Taeia inside his belly. I also got another photo of him a few days before he gave birth."

"Jjamkkan hyung. So you're saying Taeia is my baby?"

"I'm pretty sure you were able to feel that connection. The father-daughter bond."

"Besides, babies would only get comfortable when they're with their real parents. Look at how she snuggles at your neck. Lei was like that to me before, as if he's a koala bear nestled on a eucalyptus tree." Yixing finally got it and rescued Jongdae to explain everything to the confused Taemin.

"But Jessica.."

"Jessica nuna is my sister in law. She is a director at the same company Jongin works at so they've been friends since Jongin left. She is also his interior designer. She stays with him to help him revamp his loft and to help him take care of his baby."

"They're not married?"

"Gosh Taemin, since when did Jongin liked girls? They are girl friends!"

"Baby, is that true?" And as if Taeia understood him, she smiled to her daddy.

"But Jongin.. so he's really still capable of bearing a child.."

"Take a look at the baby you're carrying. It's possible especially he is already healed. Your first angel have helped him when he was away from you."

"So you're really my baby, Taeia?"

"Yep. He just didn't register her under your surname because 'you were married to someone else'. But you are that baby girl's dad. She is 100% baby Taemin."

"Woah. Whether you're bluffing or not, I am really happy!"

"We're not bluffing. You're the only one who have filled Jongin so much, so much that a baby girl was formed, created, developed and grew up until he himself gave birth to her. And now you're carrying that baby girl." Taemin remembered the last time he and Jongin made love for their 2nd anniversary. He have released every drop of cum inside Jongin and with that, he got pregnant with Taeia.

"Oh my gosh you're right!! Fuck, why didn't I think of that?! My Jonginnie.."

"Ya no swearing! Lei is here."

"Oopps. Sorry. Anyways thanks for inviting me today. I was able to spend time with my Taeia again. Ah, so beautiful!"

"But seriously, he haven't told you?"

"I was able to meet them when I went to his unit the moment I heard that he's bacm. He was there, Jessica nuna was there and our Taeia is also there. I've got to see Altaeia, she also looked at me and smiled. I've also carried her for the first time. Then Jongin allowed me to play with her whenever they are at home. All this time I thought they're really together.."

"Those two punks only acted as lovers since you suddenly barged in the loft. And maybe doesn't know how to tell you the truth."

"But I am really happy that they're back. And I am more than happy because I'm here with our cute baby girl. Hello, I'm your daddy!"

"Ah, such a nice view." Jongdae and Yixing just smiled at Taemin and Taeia who looked very happy and satisfied. Taemin doesn't even look like he lost his 'ex-wife' more than a month ago.

Jongin also received the snack reunion invite from Jongdae but was only able to come after the meeting. He was surprised to see Yixing with Lei and Taemin carrying Taeia.

"Ya why have a reunion so suddenly? We've only got to finish the meeting, sorry I'm late."

"Jonginnie, here." Taemin patted the seat beside him and Jongin obediently and unconciously did. Taeia was still by Taemin's neck but she's trying to touch her mommy Jongin's arm.

"Woah. I never thought Taemin could still order you around. We're glad that the two of you are okay now."

"Well since you're okay now and Taemin is single again, why don't the two of you get back together?"

"Hyung, I'm married."

"You married who? Ya Jongin ah, don't go around making my sister in law your wife. She's your girl best friend. Aigoo."

"Eh?"

"Jongin ah, it's time to tell the truth. Taemin has to know."

"What do I have to know?"

"You won't tell him? Then should we go tell him?"

"Ania ania. I'll tell him. Chill hyung. Ah wae geurae?"

"Sure? I have enough proofs on my gallery. I could tell him myself."

"Yes I would. Chill down. I'll tell him myself. Uhm Taeminnie.."

"Yes love?"

"I'm not married. Jessica is my girl best friend. My interior designer and a fellow director at the company."

"Oh. Okay. That's fine. I thought it would be explosive."

"She's not Taeia's mom."

"So you have another girl?" Taemin acted like he was surprised that Jessica isn't his baby girl's mom.

"Anio. I'm Taeia's mom. You got me pregnant on the day I left."

"So it's really true? I really got you pregnant?"

"Yes. Hyung, show him the proof."

"Here." Jongdae showed Jongin's maternity photos and the Taeia's sonograms to Taemin.

"Taeia.. she's really my daughter?"

"Yes. You're her dad. Besides, it's on her face right? Her face screams Lee Taemin."

"Oh my gosh, Jonginnie I'm really happy! Thank you for telling me!"

"I.. I hope that it's not too late but from now on, I would like you to be a part of Taeia's life as her dad. Would that be okay?"

"I would be forever grateful to be her dad. Right baby? Taeia, I'm your daddy! I love you so much!" Taemin adorably hugged and kissed his baby girl while Jongin was also smiling at the sight of his two loves finally acknowledging each other. His two hyungs with Lei were also in awe on how beautiful their family is.

"Aww. What a beautiful happy family. Nice one Yixing hyung. Mission accomplished!!"

"Assa!!"


	17. My Best Friend, My Forever Love

Jessica have received the good news so she stayed at Krystal's home to give privacy to the beautiful family of Jongin and Taemin.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know about you being pregnant and I was not with you when you were going through a lot during your pregnancy."

"It's okay. I needed that alone time too." They were watching their beautiful angel fall into dreamland as Taemin stroked Jongin's cheek.

"I really miss you. I didn't know it would be so hard without you. I took advantage of you and I took you for granted too. I got too sure that you'd stay by my side no matter what, even if I was with her. You got too tired of me since I've hurt you a lot. I'm really sorry."

"You have to pay for it though."

"How? Tell me. I'll do anything for you to accept me back into your heart. I'll do everything so I could have you back. I'll do anything, just be with me again."

"You'll have to get stuck with me while raising Taeia."

"Sure. I'd love that. But I want to ask you, would you like to be stuck with me forever while raising Taeia and our next cute babies?" Taemin got a box on his pocket and knelt down in front of Jongin, presenting a ring. It's a simple yet elegant strawberry quartz titanium ring.

"Ah jinjja Taeminnie why are you like this.." Jongin was so embarassed that he moved away from Taemin.

"Love, you know that I love you and now that I am totally free, I want to be with you forever."

"But you're already a widower."

"Aish jinjja why are you still pulling the past up? I'm not a widower, I'm single and I'm totally free! Guess what, no one else owns me but you. Besides, I choose you and Taeia. I promise no one else would claim me again and you won't need to share my love. Ah, sorry but you may still need to share me with Taeia but I guess you and Taeia fighting over my love is acceptable."

"Ah jinjja eotteokhaji.."

"Jonginnie.. love.. would you marry me? I want to be with you, with Taeia and our future babies forever. Please? Pretty pretty please?"

"I want to be stuck forever with you too. Yes, I'd marry you."

"I'm engaged for real!! Woah!!" Taeia cried because Taemin was so loud.

"Omo baby I'm so sorry. Aigoo. Daddy is here, sorry if daddy was too loud.. sssshhh. Sleep again, we're here to look after you. Daddy Taem and mommy Nini love you so much!"

"Nice. You're getting used of taming your daughter down. Yey, finally I could sleep while you look after her."

"I love you, Jongin. I always love and always will."

"Mwoya haha. Suddenly became cheesy."

"Ya where's my _'I love you too'_?"

"Wow, now the tables have turned. Woah."

"But seriously. I really love you, Jongin."

"I love you too, Taemin."

"Ah this feels so good. Being with you and having a baby feels good. It gets me in the mood to make another one."

"What-" Taemin shuts Jongin up with a kiss as they made love for real and this time, for good.

 

"Taeia, kaja, let's eat!!! Aigoo our cute little angel is already up! Rise and shine!" Taemin got his baby girl that's already sitting at her crib with her eyes still closed.

"You're so cute. You're really like your mommy. Kaja, I already made breakfast." Taemin woke up early for today since him, Jongin and Taeia would be having their first overseas trip together and complete. He fed his 8 months old baby girl some cheesy brocolli potato he cooked earlier, earning him a smile from his the little angel.

"Good thing you got that from me. You and daddy loves cheese so much, right? Ah so cute."

"Taeminnie.." Taemin heard Jongin moaning loudly from the bedroom while Taeia was chomping on her food.

"Yes love? Taeia, I'll just get mommy okay? Don't cry."

"Taemin!!" Taemin knows that when Jongin whines, he can't ignore it or it'll be war since he's having PMS again.

"Yes love I'm coming! I'm just settling Taeia at her carrier." When he arrived at the bedroom, he saw Jongin already sitting down but have his eyes closed, exactly the same how he saw Taeia before.

"Yes love? I'm here."

"Morning love. Kiss me." Of course without hesitation, Taemin kissed Jongin. 

"Is there anything you want? Anything you need? Does your abdomen hurt?"

"I just want to see you the moment I open my eyes. Hehe. I love you!"

"Aigoo haha I thought you need something or what. Well good morning to you, my love. I love you too! Did you sleep well?"

"Of course, since you took over in taking care of Taeia, I was able to get 5 hours sleep again."

"Daaaaaaaa!" They looked at each other when they heard a voice from the living room. They jolted up from the bed and hurriedly went to where Taeia is.

"Baby? Are you okay? Sorry, we forgot that you're waiting for your next bite."

"Taemin! I think I heard her talk!"

"Jinjja? She's now 8 months, right?"

"Yes and if that's the case then Taeia having her first word anytime soon is possible!!! Oh my gosh baby, you can talk now!! I'm so happy!" Jongin was so happy that he got his baby up to kiss and cuddle, but Taeia doesn't look pleased because she's reaching out to her food.

"Ah haha as much as I'm happy as you are, we have to feed her first. I only fed her a spoon and then you called me."

"Okay. Let's eat, baby. Let's eat together. Say aaaah!!"

"Daaa."

"So you're calling us 'Da'? Uwah!!" Taemin exclaimed and clapped the baby's tiny hands.

"You're so cute. Who would've thought that I'll have an angel like you. Hehe." Mommy Jongin hugged her baby as they ate cheesy brocolli, potatoes and asparagus, an adult version of what their angel is eating.

 

They got their luggages ready and went on their way to the airport with Jongdae driving Jongin's car.

"I never thought I'd send you back to San Francisco, Jongin ah. But I'm happy because this time, you're with Taemin and Taeia. I'll miss you! Baby JonginTaemin, uncle will miss you!"

"Eish hyung, we'll just stay there for 2 months. We'll be back by February."

"I never thought I'd take over Cha again. But I'm sure he's fine because he knows that you'll be back. And your unit.. I'll come over sometime to clean and empty your fridge."

"I left some hotdogs and bacon so you could have something to eat when you visit, hyung."

"Assa! Thanks Taemin! Okay, I think you'll need to go or you'll miss your flight. And just like the old times, I'll wait for your video calls okay?"

"Yes hyung! Taeia say bye to uncle Chen first."

"Baa.."

"Omo! She can speak now?"

"Some syllables only, hyung but we'll make sure she'll be able to call your names when we get back." Taemin proudly told Jongdae as he waved Taeia's hand to him.

"Okay. Enjoy your vacation!" Jongdae pushed the wonderful family in with a smile.

 

24 hours of flight including connecting flights would've been dreaded if not for their small ball of entertainment named Taeia. Just like Jongin, she likes sleeping a lot but also just like Taemin, she is very hyper when she wakes up.

"Welcome back to San Francisco, Taeia! And welcome to my third home away from home, love."

"Ah joahtda. It's very nice here!"

"Good thing it's not snowing today. In a few hours, we'll be able to reach the place I used to stay at."

"Now I'm curious of how your life went when you were alone here.. I feel so bad and sorry for letting you go on your own."

"Let's just say that it's an essential. I wanted to try soul-searching but I ended up baby searching because I only knew that I was pregnant when I was already here. Haha. But it's okay, what's important is I'm not alone. Taeia and I are not alone anymore because you're finally with us."

"I'm sorry if I made you wait for a very long time."

"You have to pay for that long time though."

"Yes and don't worry, I won't run away and I would gladly pay for that by staying with you."

 

Almost 2 weeks have passed and it's the first New Year's eve they'll celebrate together so Taemin cooked a lot of food while Jongin played with Taeia. Taemin insisted to be the chef for the night so Taeia could play with with her mommy Jongin.

"Ah, sadly we can't celebrate New Year at the Times square. It must've been a very cold yet romantic welcome to the new year."

"Because New York is literally at the other end and at the other side of this country. Besides, it's cold outside.."

"I'm just joking haha. It's okay. I get to be with you anyways and that's better. Yihee. Palli, Taeia is getting hungry. Right baby?"

"Hai!"

"Hahah oh? You're speaking Japanese now?"

"She's so advanced. I could even think that she's a robot's daughter programmed perfectly. She's such an intelligent beauty." Jongin was in awe on how his daughter is growing up very smart.

"Thank you." Taemin grinned, annoying Jongin.

"Oh woooow. Wow wow wow. You're not the only one, the two of us look alike anyways."

"That explains why she's such a beauty. Ah, I'm almost done here. Maybe you could prep yourselves and the table, love."

"Okay. Kaja Taeia! Ah, I could smell the roasted chicken and the baby potatoes!! It's such a pity that our angel would only get to eat the baby potatoes after mashing it."

"Her teeth is already growing though.."

"Yeah I know and sometimes she bites me."

"We could feed her soft vegetables, fruits and chicken. It's not necessary to mash them. It's for her teeth because it's itchy while it's growing out."

"Jinjja? How did you know?"

"Uhm, I asked my brother. Hehe."

"Jjamkkan. He knows that you-"

"Yes and I may have heard words but in the end, he's fine with it. I made him see a photo of Taeia and he calmed down."

"Omo. Eotteokhae? I'm sorry, love."

"There's no need for you to be sorry. Besides, now that he knows about us, he gives tips on how to take care of babies and of course what to expect depending on their month of growth. And when I told him she's on her 8th month, he advised me that we could feed her solid foods especially when her teeth starts to grow."

"Aww. I'm impressed and very touched. Thank you for working hard, daddy Taem! Taeia and I are lucky and happy to have you."

"No, I'm blessed to have both of you. Really."

"Can we eat now?"

"Haha yes kaja. I'll get some chicken for her so you could munch on it. I know you're hungry, it's not only Taeia."

"You really know me well."

"Of course, I know you well since you were still the cute guy who wore glasses and when I was the super skinny guy who's always hungry. Besides, we're best friends."

"Not just best friends though.."

"Yup and I intend to take it to the next level. Hehe."

"We already took it to the next level. Aigoo. Oh, look at your daughter munching on potatoes. Hahaha."

"Ah ya wait for the chicken! It's still hot though haha anyways." Then they heard the neighborhood noise as the fireworks lighted up the winter night sky.

"Omo! Taeia look! Fireworks! Woah, it's so beautiful! And that means, Happy New Year daddy Taemin and baby Taeia!!! Mommy loves you so much!"

"And daddy Taem loves mommy Nini and baby Taeia so much too!" The couple sweetly kissed then also kissed their daughter's cheek at the same time.

"Ah! Should we have a video call with Jongdae hyung? It's already afternoon in Korea."

"Sure, maybe he is also online." And true enough, Jongdae is online when Jongin started the video call.

"Happy New Year to Taeia!!! Uncle Jongdae loves you so much!"

"Wow, didn't even bothered to greet us."

"It's fine. Taeia is automatically Jongin and Taemin. Well okay, Happy New Year to the two of you then."

"Haha thanks. How's the celebration going?"

"The company new year fest is good. There were lots of artists who performed at the new year show. And we drank a lot so I only got up at 1pm."

"Haha wow. You're just chilling now since your song is doing well. Anyways we're so proud of you, hyung. All you need now is your own love life."

"Oh yeah. How come you're not dating, hyung?" Now that Jongin mentioned it, Taemin got a bit curious.

"Who told you I'm not?"

"Woah. Jjamkkan. Did I heard it right?"

"So you're dating somebody now, hyung?"

"I'm still courting her but I've cockblocked anybody who attempts to take my place."

"Name drop, palli."

"You'll find out when you get back."

"Aish spoiler."

"Haha yeah. So how's your new year's eve feast? Ah! I bet with all my riches that it's chicken. Hahaha"

"You're one heck of a psycho to bet all your riches for that, hyung."

"Good thing that you're right. You won't lose those riches."

"Aish I wanted to torment him though!"

"Ah ehe sorry love."

"Well it's Jongin and it's new year, it's automatically chicken. And for Taeia?"

"We're feeding her some vegetables and small shreds of chicken too. She's growing her teeth now."

"Omo, our cute angel is becoming a rabbit! Ah so cute!"

"Yes so by the time we fly back, get your wallet ready because you'll buy her lots of snacks."

"I'll sure do. All for my super cute niece Taeia."

 

After chomping on vegetables and drinking her bedtime milk, their little angel fell asleep.

"Ah, it feels great to spend holidays with you. I should've done this earlier."

"You're lucky because you'll be spending time with us not just on holidays. The perks of finally living together."

"Jonginnie, since we're here in America, I want to do something bold. I want to do something that we can't do back in Seoul."

"Uhm let me guess? You want me to fill you up?"

"Hahaha I want that too, of course but something else."

"Ah! Let's go and tour! And we'd go and eat a lot! I miss In-n-out burgers and fries! That would be a blast!" Taemin got Jongin's hands and intertwined it with his while playing with the ring he gave on the night he asked him to get married, giving Jongin a clue about what he wants to do.

"Taemin.."

"Jonginnie, let's get married. I want us to be legally married, all with papers signed and have a wedding fit for your fantasy. Something we are not free to do in Seoul.. I want you to be my official wife slash husband."

"Taeminnie wae geurae.."

"This is our chance, we're free to do anything we want here. I'll take care of everything, the civil marriage and all, as long as you agree with it."

"Of course! Yes, I'd be very happy to finally say yes to you officially. I'll take this chance to be legally and officially one with you! Taemin, thank you!!"

"No worries, my love. All for you. I love you so much."

 

As promised, Taemin took care of everything for their wedding including all their requirements and payments. They were given the marriage license January 8 and got officially married January 11, a few days before Jongin's birthday.

 

Taemin planned a surprise trip for Jongin and Taeia by renting a car so they could go to Las Vegas on his birthday. They also went to Disneyland Resort, went to different chocolate factories to spend Valentines' Day differently, and to also buy gifts for their families in Seoul and in Chiba. They are also scheduled to have their first trip with Taeia in Japan to meet Jongin's siblings including Taeia's cousins.

 

It's a mild and balmy spring day when they arrived in Jongin's family house in Chiba. He excitedly rang the doorbell while Taemin carried their still sleeping angel.

"hōrudo shiteiru, watashi wa kiteimasu. (hold on, I'm coming) Oh. Oh my gosh Kai!!! Jongin ah!! Taemin kun! Oh and also your sleeping princess. It's been so long! Come in!"

"Yes it's been so long, nuna. I miss you so much!"

"I miss you too, you know that! Video calls aren't enough to fill my heart missing my baby brother who now have his own baby. I'm so proud of you!! Thank you, Taemin kun for also taking care of them."

"No worries, and of course I would do my best to always take care and protect them. Besides, that's love, right?"

"You learned well. Good thing. And what's your baby's name again?"

"Taeia. Altaeia Kim."

"Does she have a Japanese name?"

"Uhm.. she doesn't have one yet but maybe you could ask Taemin about it."

"Oh so Japanese name.. you named her after me so maybe I could give her a name after you. She'll be Kaia."

"Wow. There's so much difference, huh? Her Korean name is Taeia then her Japanese name is Kaia? Wow parents must be so in love with each other. I hope you have plans to get married soon so you could be like Heechul oppa and Siwon oppa."

"Ah hehe nuna.. when we were in San Francisco last January, we already got married."

"Honto? Oh my gosh really?! Wow I'm so happy for you two!! So the couple standing in front of me is already married. That's very nice! Taeia also known as Kaia would be very happy."

"Sorry if we didn't tell you. It was actually my plan since we are already in America where it's legal. I suddenly told Jongin about it and he agreed. As much as I wanted all of you to be there to witness our marriage, it was too sudden and you all have to fly for 24 hours just to attend a wedding ceremony."

"It's okay. I understand you. But I am very happy to know that you really are official now. Taeia slash Kaia is lucky to have such parents that's so in love. Congratulations!"

"Thank you, Ahyoung nuna."

 

Ahyoung cracked the good news to Heechul and Seolhyun and of course, both of them flocked to their family home to also congratulate the newlyweds. Taeia also get to play and get babysitted by her older cousins Rahee, Jun and Wonhee.

"Congratulations Taemin, you indeed survived and passed the test! And to my only brother, hyung is very happy and proud of you. I must say, your baby is very beautiful. Well, it runs in the blood, she looks like us."

"Cut it out, we all know that she looks like Taemin. Darling, you know you're beautiful but Jongin has his own charms and now that it's mixed with Taemin's genes, they made a different kind of beautiful baby that is far different from you."

"So you're saying I'm not beautiful anymore? Wow Choi Siwon!!"

"Aigoo you two. I'll smack your heads even if you're older than me. So yeah, our Jongin and Taemin have already registered their marriage in San Francisco but we weren't there. How about we get to have our own ceremony here, just like what the two of you did?"

"You're really pretty brainy, Ahyoung ah."

"I agree with unnie. And I'll help. I'll take care of the venue decorations."

"I'll help Seolhyun but I could also style all of you. That'd be good."

"Okay. It's agreed then. When would you like to do it?"

"Jjamkkan jjamkkan. We haven't agreed about it? Besides, it would be a bit costly. It's Japan and-"

"Siwon and I will take care of your wedding venue. Just think about your food."

"But that's too much! I-"

"Kim Jongin that is now Lee Jongin, it's been taken cared of. You're an employee of the company and the company will shoulder the expenses of your wedding. All you've got to do is get suits and work on your menu. We'll get the chefs of the hotel cook for you. It'll be an intimate celebration with both your families so you won't be too burdened."

"But-"

"No buts, Lee Jongin. It's already settled. Now we want to ask you, when would it be?"

"Uhm, Taeia's birthday is on April 17th. Maybe April 11?"

"Okay. Talk to them, I'll contact all the people I have to contact so we could block the dates."

"Ah, Siwon hyung is really unstoppable. Woah."

"Don't worry about it anymore, we just really want to give you the wedding that you deserve. You have to celebrate the victory of true love over anything else."

 

 

 

 

 

April 11

It's the big day for Taemin and Jongin and of course, the couple are very nervous about the event.

"What are you nervous about? You're already married and it's not like Taemin will run away." Jongin's best man Jongdae, went to Chiba straight from a concert in Seoul to attend to his best friend slash cousin's wedding.

"I don't know.. it just wrecks my mind! When we got married in America, it wasn't like this!"

"Is it because you have visitors?"

"Maybe. Back then, Taeia is our only witness aside from the registry."

"Well you don't need to be nervous because we're here to support and witness your union. Afterwards when you fight, we'll be there to remind you about your sworn promises in marriage."

"Maybe that's that. Or maybe because it now feels real. I do not mean that it felt like a joke when we were in San Francisco but maybe the feeling itself knowing that we'd be in a hall full of people who loves us and went here to witness our love. It feels good even if it's making me nervous."

"Just think of it as the first day of your new life as Taemin's wife, and him being your official husband."

"Okay. Inhale, exhale. I'll be happy to finally start that day from today onwards."

Taemin and Jongin have separate photo shoots on both their waiting rooms with Jongdae calming Jongin down while Ahyoung was with Taemin. The kids are with Heechul and Seolhyun waiting at the playroom while Siwon made sure that everything is set.

After 30 minutes, Jongin went out of his waiting room to get some energy and courage from his little angel Taeia who is still oblivious of her surroundings while being with her aunt Seolhyun.

"Baby, please give mommy a hug! Daddy and I will be getting married today again, make sure you watch us okay? We love you so much!! And be good to your aunt Ari."

"Hai! Mama!"

"Don't cry, I'll take you later. I love you! Mommy loves you!"

Jongin walked down the aisle with Ahyoung on his side, also wishing him a good and harmonious married life. Rahee and Jun walked as their flower girl and ring bearer respectively, then Seolhyun went to walk with Wonhee and Jongdae who got Taeia. Jongin was nervous, he didn't know why but he have to pull himself together. Good thing, Heechul and Siwon have entered the hall with Taemin after waiting for a bit longer than expected, which made Jongin's nervousness subside. Taemin was of course, all smiles as he walked and smiled his best smile as he met Jongin at the front.

"Finally, you went out!!! I was so nervous I thought you would run away!" Jongin was almost ready to tear up and pinched Taemin's side.

"Chill, love. Why would I run away when we are already married before this? Calm down, let's enjoy this okay?"

"Okay."

After the exchange of rings, the lighting of candles at the guests tables during the meal and a presentation of flowers by the newly wed couple to their families, Taemin and Jongin are officially married. Most of their loved ones are there aside from Jongdae: Jongin's cousin and Jongdae's older brother Jaejoong with his family, his cousin Wonsik that he stayed at when he was in Hong Kong, Jongin's _'the one that got away'_ Yifan, their friend Yixing and Krystal with their son Lei, Jongin's girl friend Jessica and Naeun's former husband Taehyung also made time to witness their union. Of course, Jongin cried but it was unexpected that Taemin got emotional too because his older brother Taesun and his wife Saeeun, Naeun's sister were also there with their kids to give support. Everyone have celebrated love and enjoyed the food while Taemin and Jongin got their little angel to eat too.

 

Taeia celebrated her 1st birthday in Seoul with all her cousins from Taemin and Jongin's side present. Heechul, Siwon, Ahyoung and Seolhyun went to Korea to also take care of Taeia who would be left to them for 5 days as her parents would embark on their honeymoon.

Taemin and Jongin found themselves in Jeju Island one morning in May. Their initial destination was supposedly at Oedo in Geoje Island but there were crews filming a movie on the dates of their departure so they agreed to go to Jeju even if Jongin doesn't like it, but was persuaded when Taemin told him that they'd stay near the beach and near a waterfall.

"Just make sure that I will like where we'll go to. You've been here before so I'll trust you."

"Aigoo are you still pulling that up again? That trip was spent with Taesun hyung and Saeeun!"

"But you were still with Naeun that time. It made ny blood boil and I'm still bitter about it."

"Goodness Jongin. Who knows, Naeun would want you to go here so that you could replace my memories here with new memories with you. Cut it out, I want to enjoy the view and the scenery."

"Okay. You go and enjoy the view then. I'll go sleep."

"Jonginnie, really? What's wrong?"

"I miss my cute little angel. It's my first time going far away from her." Little did Taemin know, Jongin is already shedding tears.

"Aigoo my baby Nini. Okay, how about having a video call with Ahyoung nuna. Oh, she's up."

"Why are you calling when you're supposed to enjoy?! Don't call any of us here until you get back."

"Nuna, I miss Taeia."

"She's fine, she's playing with Wonhee most of the time while Rahee and Jun watches over them. They're watching Pororo and she's munching on some boiled potatoes with parmesan and roasted seaweeds."

"Can I see her?"

"Nope, just do your best to enjoy and relax. When you get back, you'll see that Taeia have turned into a fine Japanese baby. We'll go ahead. And we won't answer your calls so don't attempt anymore. Taemin ah, ganbatte!!! Jongin, just do it ara? Bye! Enjoy!" Ahyoung didn't let Jongin nor Taemin see Taeia as she ended the videocall. Jongin might've been sulky but he can't do anything but miss his little angel.

"Heard that? So let's just enjoy our time here. We have 5 days to relax and do some extreme activities.."

"What kind of activities is that? And how extreme could that get?"

"We'll go to the Pool of Gods. We're just in time of that single day in May when they allow people to swim. It's closed for the 2 whole years after that."

 "Alright alright. When would that be?"

"At our third day here. Today is our first day, we still have tomorrow to prepare for it."

"Okay. I'll sleep first."

"Kaja, let's eat out. I want to try the black pork meat. And abalones!"

"Let me sleep first.. huhu."

"Let's eat first then we'll sleep later. I'll sleep with you, don't worry."

They went out to eat black pork belly, seafood clam hotpot, deep fried chicken and sea urchin then afterwards, went to get some mango waffle ice cream and honey puffs. They also got some chocolate shake and salted caramel milkshake on their way back to their lodging after playing with some cute corgis at the cafe.

"Ah, it must've been very cute if we have dogs at our house. Taeia would definitely love having a playmate. I think she's getting bored of her toys and she doesn't want to play with us unlike before."

"Dogs would really be cute. We have Adam and Eve at hyung's place while you have Jjangah, Monggu and Jjanggu in Japan. But as much as I want to have another dog, we are almost always out of the house since we take Taeia with us at work. I don't think it would be advisable to adopt another dog."

"That's sad. I wish we could get something that Taeia could play with so she won't get bored."

"I think I have a great idea, love."

"What?"

"It won't be fun to tell you about it. Instead, I want to show you. Kaja."

"What will you show me? Where are we going?" Taemin didn't waste time so he kissed Jongin softly first. Jongin was still in doubt atbout it  but he finally figured out what Taemin wants to get for Taeia.

"Please, love?"

"So you've planned this? And it's also the reason why you ate lots of clams and sea urchin?"

"I just want to satisfy you. Please?"

"I can't say no, right?"

"You can't say no."

"And you're saying this is the purpose of this trip, right?"

"Yes. Love, we're on a honeymoon. What do you expect to do? Plant trees?"

"Hehe. Alright. I'll take a shower first."

"I'll shower with you. Let's start there." Indeed, Taemin joined Jongin in the shower. They helped each other wash and because of the clams and sea urchin Taemin ate, he was quickly aroused. Jongin didn't mind since he like it, maybe he was just not too enthusiastic about it before.

"Love, it's legal now. Thank goodness you're finally mine. Who would've thought that I'd still win after all these years and after I gave up and left you. It's so magical. Thank you for loving me even if I left. I love you, Taemin." Jongin caressed Taemin's cheeks before kissing it.

"No love, I won because after all we've been through, I still have you in my life. I even got a bonus when Taeia came. I'm so happy to have you and to finally be with you without holding back, without thinking about anything else. I love you so much, Jongin." They looked at each other's sparkling eyes that got curved because of their smiles. They kissed softly and sensually until Taemin's lips went down to Jongin's jaw, to his neck, to his collarbones, to his chest, to his nipples, to his abdomen that didn't seem to swell; as if he never got pregnant with Taeia, to his love handles, to his pelvic bone and to his nether regions.

"Uh Taemin, palli.."

"So now you're the one excited.."

"You must've forgotten, I ate some clams and sea urchin too."

"Good thing I am ready. Let's enjoy this, ara? I love you so much, Lee Jongin." Taemin kissed and licked Jongin's lips, took his wrist and went out of the bathroom to settle at the bed. Taemin laid Jongin gently, not breaking the kiss, spread his legs then thrusted inside Jongin's femme hole. Jongin moaned in pleasure and hugged Taemin closer with his legs.

"Oh gosh I miss you so much. It's been a while."

"I must admit, it was really a while. I was even surprised that you've lasted that long without me."

"I can't do anything especially when you have cramps due to PMS. It's okay. And don't worry, I didn't go around to fuck somebody else when you're not available. I'm way too satisfied by you and I don't need anyone but you."

"You're so sweet. Do your best, daddy Taem."

"Yes I will. I will fill you up that you will leak even with only round 1."

"I'll tally how many rounds you could do with the help of clams and sea urchin. Hahah."

"Okay then. Watch me, love. I love you." Taemin thrusted in and out of Jongin and his lovely wife looked so sexy with sweat on his forehead, moaning with eyes closed. Sometimes, Jongin would bite his lips. Sometimes, he's licking it as he's well pleasured by Taemin's cock.

"Love.. uhm."

"Yes love?"

"Uh can you take me.. from the back?"

"Oh you like that?"

"Yes love. Please."

"Alright. Wish granted." Taemin pulled out only to flip Jongin over with his stomach against the bed. Taemin pulled up Jongin's butt glistening with his wetness and went inside again. Jongin moaned louder than before and seemed to be so aroused too.

"Goodness did you really gave birth? How come you're still so tight?"

"I'm clenching down. Ah, it feels so good."

"Yeah it does feel good. Oh my Jongin you're so wet. Ah, I love you so much." After lots of thrusting and Taemin pulling Jongin's butt closer to him as he bury his cock, Taemin finally came. Jongin came at the same time with his legs seriously worn out because of the extreme sensation. Taemin collapsed beside Jongin and cuddled afterwards.

"That was fucking awesome."

"Now I'm seriously sleepy. I got drained and I have to be hard enough to go inside you again so you won't leak out."

"I thought you love it so much when I'm leaking your cum out?"

"As much as I want to, I will sacrifice this timr. I actually want another baby, a real playmate for Taeia so she won't get bored nor sad when we're busy."

"Me too but let's see okay? It's not really guaranteed. Back then, you just filled me up since we had sex in one whole day. Let's see if my body is still healthy enough to produce babies."

"It's okay, I'll also try my best to drown you. I'll teach them to swim fast so they could get in and reach mommy."

"Kaja let's sleep! I'm tired."

"Okay. Sleep tight and see you in my dreams. I love you Jonginnie."

"I love you Taeminnie. Now go sleep." Taemin hugged his Jonginnie as the big spoon and drifted to sleep.

 

It was already 11pm when they woke up and only a few restaurants were open so they just got some delivery food. And of course, as Jongin requested, it's chicken. They ordered 2 whole chicken with fries and dips plus salad and rice. The couple ate heartily even if they're not fully clothed.

"Chicken still tops. Wow."

"Anio. Steak is still the best."

"Where's your steak."

"You. You're one big piece of delicious steak."

"Ya don't even start, I'm not done eating yet."

"Yeah the moment you finish, we'll just rest for an hour then we'll continue."

"Wow you're very driven today. Thanks to sea urchin, you're so ready huh?"

"Of course, and also for Taeia and for our future baby. Daddy have to work harder in making mommy happy."

"You always make me happy, Taemin ah."

"I intend to make you the happiest so no one could stop me. We won't stop even if both of us are sore."

"Ya that's too much! You have to also rest, cumming lots of times would affect their number and how far they could swim.. so as much as I want to be sore, you have to save them up and only launch them when it's the right time."

"Alright, let's just cuddle later then."

They watched movies, variety shows and dramas until Jongin fell asleep in Taemin's arms. He considerately turned off the projector and laid down so Jongin won't have a hard time sleeping with the noise coming from the films in an uncomfortable position.

Taemin tried to sleep but his thoughts went far. He thought about him, Jongin, Taeia, their married life, their family life, their jobs and the possibility of Jongin getting pregnant again. If he does, Jongin would have to stay and work at home. Taemin would like to take care of Jongin on his next pregnancy so he would also have to sacrifice his job. It's a bit complicated but he thinks that maybe when the time comes, they'd get to think of a solution.

He felt Jongin hug him closer and little did he know, his sleepyhead bear is awakened.

"Morning love. Sorry, I fell asleep. How's the movie?"

"You falling asleep on my arms is actually one of the cutest things I've ever seen. The movie is fine but I got bored and sleepy watching it so I turned it off. I tried to sleep but I ended up thinking about lots of things."

"What kind of things?"

"Well just random things, but I don't want you to worry about it. Yeah, maybe we should just think about it later on. Now that we're here, let's just enjoy. Ah, joahtda. It's only 4am, you woke up too early now that Taeia isn't here."

"I want to be awake the same time as you. And I want to eat chicken again, then maybe you can fill me up for the second round. Game?"

"I guess I wasn't really the only one who gets the effect of the clams and sea urchin. Hahaha. Sure. I think I was able to save enough for a full shot."

 

Jongin and Taemin have enjoyed their second round and fell asleep again to only get awakened during lunchtime when their stomachs grumbled.

"Should we eat out or get another delivery?"

"I think it's better to stay so we could immediately start round 3. But I somehow think that we need to get fueled up with real food."

"Let's go. When we get back, we could just freshen up and go for the round 3."

"That'd be great."

 

They went on another seafood lunch with grilled mackerel that Taemin is obsessing about, cheesy scallops, garlic butter abalone and stuffed squid. Taemin loves the menu while Jongin watches him munch on their food.

"Seems like you got too drained. Sorry hehe."

"Ania, I'm just fueling up so we could have more rounds when we get back."

"Sure. I'll be ready for that."

"You're not yet sore?"

"Nope. I'll never be sore for you. I'm that strong."

"I'm so lucky to have you, really."

"Don't be too cheesy, we'll have judgemental people staring at us."

"We only look like best friends up for a wonderful lunch and trip here in Jeju."

"Best friends in love, yes. Hehe."

"Anyways would you like to go for a swim at the pool back at the hotel? I heard that there's a jacuzzi, we could relax our muscles."

"Hahaha maybe. Seems like you're too tired that your muscles are the one sore."

"Ania that's not what I mean! I mean blood circulation and you relaxing as well. I want your body to be at it's best condition. Besides, maybe it'll only last for an hour or so. And it's like you don't like swimming with me."

"Tomorrow we'll gonna swim at the falls too."

"Please? I want to try it. Hehe."

"Alright but before we go back take me to a dessert shop first. Let's buy some cakes."

"Omo, is your period coming?"

"Nope. I just want to eat something sweet after the action later. Hehe."

After getting a whole Marjolaine, some mousse cups and milkshakes, they went to relax at the jacuzzi. After almost 2 hours, they went on for their round three until they reached round six.

 

Their third day of honeymoon was spent with Jongin and Taemin eating grilled eel, cheesy oysters and live marine spoon worm, along with some black pork jowl and samgyetang by the restaurant near Cheonjiyeon falls. After eating heartily and having enough rest, they went to swim on the 'Pool of Gods'.

"Love, have you heard the story about this place?"

"Not really. What is that?"

"They said that the nymphs protect this place and only allows people to swim here once every two years. They also said that it heals all the people who swim and pray to them. Should we try to pray and make a wish so that both of us will be healed free from everything and we could have our next baby?"

"That's wonderful! I mean, you really took your time to search for this place? And yes, I'm down for that. Let's wish and pray that we'll stay healthy and very healthy enough to have more babies. But Taemin, thank you."

"Thank you for what?"

"For taking me here, for coming with me. For being with me and for choosing me."

"You know, I think it's about time to choose my life over anything else. Now it's not just my life but also my world. You're my life while Taeia is my world. I can't wait to also have my future and my reality."

"Omo, I guess you'll be active in making me bear babies. Eotteokhae?"

"Ah yes now I just realized.. I haven't asked you about your preference. How many kids would you like to have? Or should I say, how many kids would you like me to give you?"

"Actually I want to have three kids before Taeia came. And I already have one. It's up to you and it's up to my body if I could still be able to bear the next two babies we'll have. How about you?"

"Initially I want one or two babies. I even wanted to adopt since I don't like girls but I'm really blessed to have a child bearing love and Taeia."

"Aw. So if we have another baby we'll be able to rest. That's okay to me."

"Jjamkkan who told you I'd still settle with one or two babies? We could try and try, right? As much as we can?"

"Ya am I your baby machine? You don't know how painful it is to give birth. Aigoo."

"Well maybe we could decide on that in the future. Having Taeia is fine, having another baby would be great and if we'd still be able to have a baby after that, then maybe we're meant to have three."

"Let's just enjoy the moment while wishing and praying that we'd get to be blessed by another baby so Taeia won't get too sad playing alone. Kaja!" Jongin splashed water to Taemin's face and played. They enjoyed the water while hugging and kissing, not thinking about anything in the world aside from each other.


	18. My Life, My World, My Future and My Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ctto of photos

Jongin and Taemin slowly put action to their future plans as a couple and as a family. Jongin changed Taeia's surname from being Taeia Kim to Taeia Lee. It wasn't complicated because Taemin is her real father and of course, the proud daddy Taem could legally call his little angel Taeia Lee.

Taemin also resigned from the restaurant and accepted an offer from Heechul and Siwon to be an executive chef of the new restaurant they'll open in 6 months. All Taemin's got to do for now is to make sample menus that will complement with the restaurant's themes and cuisines, formulate recipes and make some costings while staying at home, taking care of his wife and his baby girl.

 

It's been almost a month since they came back from their extreme 'adventure' honeymoon in Jeju but they didn't stop trying to conceive a baby. Sometimes, Jongin gets frustrated with it especially when Taeia is just staring at them when she becomes very energetic when there are other kids around.

"Ah eotteokhae? Why can't I just get pregnant now that we want to have a baby yet Taeia came to us unexpectedly? Huhu. My baby is so sad, she doesn't have a playmate."

"Ssshhh. Relax your body. Maybe it's because of the stress in your mind that's keeping us from having one. Don't worry, time will come that we'll get to give her a baby sibling."

"We both eat healthy, I even gained weight again that my cheeks are puffing like yours. My belly fats are forming too. Eotteokhaji? I think I'm only pregnant with food. Ah jinjja."

"Don't stress too much! It's okay. Daddy Taem would do his best for mommy Nini okay? Come here, let me hug you." Taemin sweetly hugged his nagging wife. Good thing their little angel didn't get awakened with their noise and whining.

 

The couple tried their best to recall the things they've done that have led them to have Taeia so they could conceive another baby and they resorted to one factor: positions so they've tried different positions on where Taemin could penetrate Jongin more than the usual. Taemin tried to put Jongin's legs on his shoulders and sometimes, he would make Jongin ride him.

 

Jongin eat a lot of healthy foods including fruits, vegetables and meat. He also vowed to drink a liter of fresh milk everyday along Taemin so both of them gaining weight isn't that surprising.

 

"Maaamaa.." Taeia called her mama while she was on her walker.

"Yes baby? Are you hungry?"

"Hai." Taeia saw her mommy Jongin cutting apples for his Waldorf Salad and she somehow want to have a bite, so Jongin fed her some. She liked it that she smiled cutely even when her daddy Taemin looked at her.

"Oh? Why are you smiling so wide?"

"I gave her a little piece of apple. She liked it so she smiled so cutely. Yay, my salad is so ready."

"Put some cashews on. It'll taste better."

"I put hazelnuts and macadamias instead."

"Ahhh that'd be so good!!! But I prefer Caesar or Greek salad more. Ah! Also the Thai beef salad with peanut sauce!"

"Why are you like that? I love that too!"

"I'll make some later then."

"Can you make some now? I'll also be cooking some striploin for protein. Hehe."

"Oh alright. I'll make some for you."

Taemin made generous amount of Caesar and Greek salad dressings and took out 2 bags of romaine lettuce and 1 bag of butterhead lettuce. Jongin was literally drooling while feeding Taeia some apples from the salad that he made earlier.

"I'm so happy I married a chef. I will never get hungry huhuhu. Nice choice, Lee Jongin."

"Lee Jongin.. it sounds so perfect. My surname fits your name so much."

"Of course, Kim Taemin. Ah, I can't wait to eat those."

Taemin and Jongin chomped on the salads with Jongin giving up after he ate 2 portions each with the striploin steak while Taemin is already on his 3rd portion of each yet he doesn't have the thought to stop.

"I give up. You win with the salads. Wow. I'm already full, thank you."

"But it's so delicious. I miss eating these hehe." Jongin sensed something weird when he saw Taemin not eating the feta cheese in Greek salad an the parmesan cheese in the Caesar salad when he is a very big cheese lover.

"Love, you don't like the feta cheese?"

"It's too sour, it would just ruin the salad. It's not in a good condition anymore."

"Let me taste a bit.. oh? It's still the same feta cheese that we know. Are you okay, love? Are you sick?"

"I'm perfectly fine. Do I look sick?"

"Not really but you not eating cheese is really weird."

 

Taemin got weird with his food choices. First, he didn't like feta cheese on Greek salad. Then he suddenly loved pickles on burgers, he even dip fries in tartare sauce. He eats soda crackers with tomato paste and he's addicted to spanish sardines pasta without parmesan cheese. Jongin have a suspicion that Taemin is not sick, he's eating for Jongin and their new baby so he went to buy some pregnancy tests secretly to confirm his speculation.

"Ah please jebal.. It's been 2 months since our honeymoon.. I hope we'd get to conceive another bundle of happiness.." he silently wished and prayed with his eyes closed for the test to be positive. When he opened his eyes, he saw that his wish is granted.

"Oh my- oh my gosh!! We'll be having another baby! Eotteokhae? It's still early and they're still sleeping.. uwaah." Jongin went back to bed, kissing Taemin on his forehead before he goes back to sleep with a big smile.

 

Jongin's morning sickness started but he tried his best not to wake Taemin up everytime until he can't keep quiet anymore that Taemin got him checked. Jongin already know about his pregnancy for almost 2 weeks but kept quiet about it but now, it's confirmed especially the doctor made him have a blood test.

"Lee Jongin is pregnant. Congratulations!" Jongin was happy while Taemin was frozen by his side with Taeia clinging onto his neck.

"Taeminnie, we did it! We'll be having another baby!! I'm so happy!! Thank you so much!"

"You're.. we're having another baby?"

"Yes! Taeia would be having a playmate soon! We'll be having another bundle of joy! Thank you for your hard work, daddy! I love you so much!"

Jongin was 8 weeks and 2 days pregnant and they got the first sonogram of their second baby. Taemin might be in shock at first but was more than happy to know that their hard work have paid off and they are blessed again with a new life to nurture.

 

Taemin was with Jongin through the pregnancy journey and was amazed with how his wife was able to get through it everyday. He got mood swings, sometimes his body aches, sometimes he doesn't like the food he usually eat, sometimes he would play with Taeia, sometimes he would be playful around him and sometimes he would just ignore his love. Good thing Taemin knows the magic of strawberries and ice cream and it's a relief that Jongin's cravings didn't affect his love for it, though he sometimes want to eat cheese ice cream and triple chocolate variants.

Jongin is on his 6 month pregnancy but he was feeling different. His belly was bigger than how his belly was when he had Taeia but he just shrugged it off, thinking that he was just healthy or fat so it's big.

"You're on your 6th month of pregnancy with twins." His doctor cracked the suspicion and this time, it wasn't only Taemin that's in shock. Above anyone else, Jongin is shocked too.

"Jjamkkan, twins? As in two? Two babies at the same time?"

"Twins, yes. Two babies are inside at the same time. Your daughter will have two playmates."

"That's possible? With my body? I thought I just got fat because I was eating a lot but.. really?"

"Yes. And you could see both of them via ultrasound."

"How come back then there's only one baby?"

"There's this occurence that some of the twins in the womb seem to be unnoticed, that it seems like they're hiding during the checkup. But look, you have two babies. And we could see the gender too."

"Oh my gosh how could this happen really.."

"I'll be telling you their genders. But first, I want to know what you think.. Mr. Lee Taemin?"

"Ah? I don't know. I don't have any clue.. but maybe.. a girl? Taeia could be an unnie to her sisters.."

"How about you, Mr. Lee Jongin?"

"For some reasons I want to have pretty boys.. baby boys who would inherit our faces."

"Oh alright. Are you ready? Actually, you're both wrong. You have fraternal twins. One boy, one girl." There was dead silence for a while until Taeia spoke up with 'mama' and 'dada'.

"Too shocked, aren't we? It's possible and it's happening. Congratulations to the two of you. And congratulations to the cutie too, you'll be a nuna and an unnie."

 

Taemin and Jongin were still blank even if they have arrived home and put Taeia on her afternoon nap. They were both staring at the latest 6th month sonogram of their babies, fraternal twins at that.

"Taemin.."

"Yes love?" Taemin responded with his eyes still glued to the sonogram.

"Baby.. they're two.."

"Yeah, the doctor said they're two.. the sonogram says they're two.."

"Eotteokhae?" Jongin suddenly bursted out crying while Taemin settled him at the couch carefully. Taemin caressed his wife's swollen belly and wiped his tears.

"I know you're worried but hey, our wishes and prayers came true! We'll be having Taeia's new playmates! I'm shocked as you are but I am very happy!"

"What if I won't-"

"Just like what I've said, I know you're worried but I'm here, you don't have to be scared. You already gave life to Taeia even if I was far away. Now that we'll be having twins, you don't have to worry because I'm here. It may be my first time helping you but I will surely do my best to be your strong foundation and support. We're in this together, okay? Don't cry now, love. Babies would get worried of you."

"I'm also very happy. I can't contain my feelings, our Taeia would have a baby brother and baby sister soon!"

"I somehow think that this is also a blessing from the nymphs when we went to Jeju. Remember the healing pool of the Gods? Maybe they wanted us to be very successful in conceiving that they gave us two! Ah, I swear we will have to go back there after 2 years, with Taeia and our twins."

"Same thoughts, love. But you know, I'm very thankful to you. Thank you, daddy Taem for working so hard and for giving mommy Nini lots of love! I love you so much!!"

"I love you so much too, mommy Nini! I've never felt so happy and complete in my life. Thanks to you, I've experienced a whole new life, a whole new beginning and a whole new reason for my existence. Thank your for making me a real dad. Thank you for bringing out the best in me and I promise, I will do my best to be your one and only best husband and best daddy to our babies."

"Even if that means staying up to tend onto our next babies?"

"Even if I have to stay up and take care of you, Taeia and our twins."

 

Jongdae was nervous and silent even if Taeia is doing her best to walk straight. She finally had it and hugged her uncle's leg.

"Samchon, wae?"

"Ah you're so cute. Uncle Chen is just nervous."

"Wae?"

"This baby punk, you're speaking banmal, informally to me? Is that what your parents are teaching you? Anyways.. your mommy and daddy will welcome your brother and sister. Remember when you felt them kicking on her belly? They'll be coming out! And later on you'd be able to play with them."

"Eh?"

"Ah haha well you're still so young, you won't understand it yet. Mama, papa, ssangdongsaeng. Two baby."

"Oh."

"I give up. You still won't understand so let's just wait for them okay? Let's just walk around since you're too energetic like your dad."

In a few minutes, Jongdae's phone rang with a call from Taemin.

"Oh how was it?"

"Hyung, you can come to the room!"

"Ara ara. Taeia, you can run, right? Dwieo?"

"Hai."

"Kaja, let's run!!! Your twin siblings are waiting for you!"

 

Jongdae can't take Taeia's cute walk when she was told to run so he got her again and sprinted to Jongin's room. He finally saw his cousin still pale from giving birth, with Taemin holding his hand by the bed.

"Look at you. Woah, you look like a vampire drained of blood."

"I really am. It's hard!! Taeia, baby huhu." But the little bear was like her mom, she could instantly fall asleep whenever she likes it.

"She fell asleep. Haha. Ya Taeia did you also gave birth? Aigoo."

"She got drained because we walked around while we were waiting for you."

"She's so cute."

"By the way, congratulations to the two of you! You are two babies richer! And thanks for making me a babysitter of two this time."

"Hehe good thing you know."

"That's okay hyung, so you've already mastered the art of babysitting when your time comes."

"Wow, I didn't know I signed up for this. I wasn't informed. This is more mandatory than military service!"

"Haha that's okay. You can't get away anyways." Then just in time, the nurse went inside with the twins after getting cleaned and checked by the doctors.

"Oh my gosh Jongin!! Taemin!! They're so beautiful!"

"Thanks hyung!"

"Wow. Your genes didn't go to waste. What's their name?"

"Ah yes. Babies, let me introduce you to uncle Jongdae and your older sister Taeia.. hyungah, this is my baby boy Taeoh."

"And this is my baby girl Taein."

"Taeoh and Taein? Oh. I guess Taemin gave birth to twins this time."

"Their Japanese names are Kaito and Kairin. Haha."

"Mwoya? Ah jinjja. I give up. You two are really crazy."

"Crazy in love, yes."

"Now that you have both your babies, I should babysit Taeia, right?"

"Yes. Or would you like to babysit Taeoh or Taein instead? They might cry a lot."

"And you have to do daddy duties instead of uncle duties."

"Ania, I'm very happy with my big baby Taeia. I'll be happy to fulfill uncle duties! I'm satisfied with it and it's too early for me to do daddy duties."

"Haha you're crazy too."

"I've known the two of you since you were still kids and you know what? I'm very happy to see the two of you happy together. You may have been through a lot, happiness and pain but you were able to survive everything. Now the heavens gave you gifts with Taeia, Taeoh and Taein. I couldn't get any happier for the two of you though I know your happiness now cannot be described by words."

"Thank you so much, Jongdae hyungah!!"

"Of course, for my beloved friends and now, family."

"Don't worry, when Taeia is big enough, she'd take care of your future babies too. And the twins will play with them too. Then our next babies.."

"Jjamkkan, you still have plans for next babies? I mean, you only gave birth to twins."

"Yes. Why not? And who told you we'd stop? There's no stopping us. Right, love?"

"Yes. We won't stop. We'll never stop especially now that we have love and happiness that fills our life, our world, our future and our reality."

 

Taein and Taeoh, Jongin and Taemin's twins

•the end•


End file.
